Mr. Artsy and I are finished…Kaput. I am not sure what happened really…just no chemistry I guess. He said,
"well I was thinking about that. And I think it would be best if we didn't because I don't feel a real connection, ya know? that is, there not much of a mutal personality volley or compatibility. I really don't want it come come across harsh 'cause you're a nice woman."
…hmm is he gay? LOL just kidding…
It was sad sort of to have him say he wasn’t interested. I am not sure why that makes me sad since I wasn’t so sure on him anyway…he did live at home…didn’t own a car…and his mom still cooks him dinner on a daily basis. So…there were a lot of things pointing to not a great match in the superficial areas…let alone the spark that just wasn’t there.
He was sweet and nice…and we did have some things in common…but overall I was just kind of bored with him…I didn’t laugh the way I want to. I didn’t really think about him and get those butterflies at the sight of him or at the IM that would come across my screen.
SO its ok, and I am ok…I think I am not over Anchorman as dumb as that seems…but I want what we had…but just outside of the bedroom as well as inside. With Anchorman I laugh until my stomach hurts, and I never feel self-conscious when I with him…not really.
SO, at the end of the day Mr. Artsy was more of a friend then anything else. I did say that to him…that I felt more like we were friends…and would like to continue in that respects… and he said, “No, I would rather not.”
Hmmm, I did get sad at that…I got sad at loosing a friend that could have been great…I am sad at the dreams that once again will not happen with him…that’s ok…Ill be ok…cause I just want to find someone who I am attracted to, someone who I can laugh with and at, and most of all will treat me the way I SHOULD be treated.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
The Lawyer came clean
I have decided once and for all to be done with CL. I have said this in the past…but it just doesn’t end well…and I cant take it anymore…the lies…the sex…the rock and roll?
SO, I have mentioned The Lawyer a time or two on here…how he seems so nice and sweet…and how last week I stood him up…
Well we had plans to go to lunch today. And me being to busy, we decided to reschedule…but only certain times that he could meet.
Hmmm…I started thinking about our past conversations…
“I am single too, I live in Brighton, and I am 28 years old...you”
But in a previous conversation he said he was 27…and then in the past few weeks…he never ever mentioned Brighton again. SO see…questions are starting to arise.
Especially when he asked me a few days ago if I would ever date a married man…his response was because he dated a married women once and was curious. Hmmm yea.
So today…all these thoughts are swirling in my head and I asked for like the 10th time if he was married. He played a trick on me…saying he was some “fiancé” checking her email on his computer, and “what are you doing with my man.” I decided after all this…that the signs are all fitting into place. He had to be married…why else would he be acting like this. He wont tell me where he lives…he doesn’t have a phone number he says…why not? His wife might find out?
AND saying:
"okay so just for the sake of argument....assuming I am involved...you still wouldn't date me....although let's say, dating me and being together would be a lot of fun?....hypothetically speaking:)"
or
"well...hypothetically speaking....if you know that we are together just to have a great time...lets say 1 year or so.....if u never acpected anything from the beginning...it would be just as a regular relationship....no??" His response being: "I am just making conversation, you are so easily influenced"
SO, after telling me he was seeing someone…and me saying…all I want is someone who is honest…I want you to be honest with me.
He finally came clean…
The Lawyer is married.
SO, no more CL…he was the last guy that I was going to meet from there…and he broke it. I can’t take it anymore…at least with Mr. Artsy we got to third date before he even kissed me. Match is hard because no one emails or winks at me…I still am not sure as to why…but I guess time will tell…maybe one person a month is doable…
SO, The Lawyer is married…what an ass.
SO, I have mentioned The Lawyer a time or two on here…how he seems so nice and sweet…and how last week I stood him up…
Well we had plans to go to lunch today. And me being to busy, we decided to reschedule…but only certain times that he could meet.
Hmmm…I started thinking about our past conversations…
“I am single too, I live in Brighton, and I am 28 years old...you”
But in a previous conversation he said he was 27…and then in the past few weeks…he never ever mentioned Brighton again. SO see…questions are starting to arise.
Especially when he asked me a few days ago if I would ever date a married man…his response was because he dated a married women once and was curious. Hmmm yea.
So today…all these thoughts are swirling in my head and I asked for like the 10th time if he was married. He played a trick on me…saying he was some “fiancé” checking her email on his computer, and “what are you doing with my man.” I decided after all this…that the signs are all fitting into place. He had to be married…why else would he be acting like this. He wont tell me where he lives…he doesn’t have a phone number he says…why not? His wife might find out?
AND saying:
"okay so just for the sake of argument....assuming I am involved...you still wouldn't date me....although let's say, dating me and being together would be a lot of fun?....hypothetically speaking:)"
or
"well...hypothetically speaking....if you know that we are together just to have a great time...lets say 1 year or so.....if u never acpected anything from the beginning...it would be just as a regular relationship....no??" His response being: "I am just making conversation, you are so easily influenced"
SO, after telling me he was seeing someone…and me saying…all I want is someone who is honest…I want you to be honest with me.
He finally came clean…
The Lawyer is married.
SO, no more CL…he was the last guy that I was going to meet from there…and he broke it. I can’t take it anymore…at least with Mr. Artsy we got to third date before he even kissed me. Match is hard because no one emails or winks at me…I still am not sure as to why…but I guess time will tell…maybe one person a month is doable…
SO, The Lawyer is married…what an ass.
Monday, February 26, 2007
My Match
Ok any feedback is helpful: this is my profile on Match...still only one real guy that I am in touch with in a Month...and that is Mr Artsy...so help?
I have my own life and career, but I would love for you to come along for the ride. I know I’m not Paris Hilton…but I am me. I am smart, funny and LOVE to laugh. I want someone who can enhance my life without being my life.
I have been doing the career world, letting me live in five states in just over five years…Albany NY, Burlington VT, Charlotte NC, Atlanta Ga and I am now in Boston… hopefully to stay.
I loved Burlington- Lake Champlain took my breath away every morning…even if it was a little cold at times…but made me realize how much I love the mountains and lakes and nature.
Living in the South was interesting…something I never would have thought would be such a culture shock…crossing the big divide. I liked it though…staying at 65 during February was a nice change…but in the summer and sweating in air conditioning kind of sucked. I was a Yankee…and def never understood a true Southern Bell. It takes me 30 minutes to get ready, not two hours.
But, Boston…this had been a favorite. I love walking through the commons...or seeing the city lights at night. It’s a great place to live…I love the people and the sites…the history… and I love seeing and learning something new at every corner.
I want to live life to the fullest and have fun doing it. I’m shy, but can be the loudest one at the party. I can do a shot with the best of them…a beer with great taste…or a strong stiff drink. I am more of a pub girl verses a club girl. I love going to a new restaurant or trying a Phantom Gourmet favorite. I love sushi, Thai, Indian, a great burrito (something I learned from the south).
I love going to the movies…something to loose myself for a few hours…although reading does the same. I don’t mind watching a movie at home...if I have someone to enjoy it with. From Old School to 12 Monkeys to Walk the Line…I can watch any movie once.
I love my friends and family, and I am the most loyal person you will meet, the best friend you will have. Obviously from the statement above, I am a genuine person. I hope to find someone who can appreciate all I have to offer.
Maybe that’s you?
I have my own life and career, but I would love for you to come along for the ride. I know I’m not Paris Hilton…but I am me. I am smart, funny and LOVE to laugh. I want someone who can enhance my life without being my life.
I have been doing the career world, letting me live in five states in just over five years…Albany NY, Burlington VT, Charlotte NC, Atlanta Ga and I am now in Boston… hopefully to stay.
I loved Burlington- Lake Champlain took my breath away every morning…even if it was a little cold at times…but made me realize how much I love the mountains and lakes and nature.
Living in the South was interesting…something I never would have thought would be such a culture shock…crossing the big divide. I liked it though…staying at 65 during February was a nice change…but in the summer and sweating in air conditioning kind of sucked. I was a Yankee…and def never understood a true Southern Bell. It takes me 30 minutes to get ready, not two hours.
But, Boston…this had been a favorite. I love walking through the commons...or seeing the city lights at night. It’s a great place to live…I love the people and the sites…the history… and I love seeing and learning something new at every corner.
I want to live life to the fullest and have fun doing it. I’m shy, but can be the loudest one at the party. I can do a shot with the best of them…a beer with great taste…or a strong stiff drink. I am more of a pub girl verses a club girl. I love going to a new restaurant or trying a Phantom Gourmet favorite. I love sushi, Thai, Indian, a great burrito (something I learned from the south).
I love going to the movies…something to loose myself for a few hours…although reading does the same. I don’t mind watching a movie at home...if I have someone to enjoy it with. From Old School to 12 Monkeys to Walk the Line…I can watch any movie once.
I love my friends and family, and I am the most loyal person you will meet, the best friend you will have. Obviously from the statement above, I am a genuine person. I hope to find someone who can appreciate all I have to offer.
Maybe that’s you?
Not sure...
I met up with Mr. Artsy for the third time…he came over to my place and watched the Oscars with a friend and I. It was nice…he followed me into the kitchen when we were going to order pizza and said “come ‘ere” and then hugged and kissed me. It was nice enough, but have I mentioned that he is 6’6” and I am 5’3”…yea that’s over a foot taller…not so easy…
We watched the Oscars and eventually he held my hand again…it was nice…when my friend left he kissed me…we did that for awhile…it was nice…it was fun…until we realized it was 11:33 and he had to still go on the T to go home…so we raced to the T stop…
I still wonder about him…is he in the closet? LOL…I even asked my friend what she thought…
“Oh my god, I can't believe you said that, because I wasn't going to, but I totally thought upon first impressions that he is in the closet!!! Certain things, like the way he walks, talks, mannerisms.... who knows.... that is really funny!!”
So, I just don’t know…I guess only time will tell…he is sweet and nice…I just am not sure yet.
We watched the Oscars and eventually he held my hand again…it was nice…when my friend left he kissed me…we did that for awhile…it was nice…it was fun…until we realized it was 11:33 and he had to still go on the T to go home…so we raced to the T stop…
I still wonder about him…is he in the closet? LOL…I even asked my friend what she thought…
“Oh my god, I can't believe you said that, because I wasn't going to, but I totally thought upon first impressions that he is in the closet!!! Certain things, like the way he walks, talks, mannerisms.... who knows.... that is really funny!!”
So, I just don’t know…I guess only time will tell…he is sweet and nice…I just am not sure yet.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Mr Artsy: 2nd time
I met up with Mr. Artsy tonight…wasn’t even a planned event actually. I was at work…needing a beer and wanting to go to trivia…what a day I had had. All my friends were busy…
So I asked Mr. Artsy to go with me…and he said yes. I picked him up at the Harvard Stop…and got lost on back roads trying to find trivia. We got there...rushed inside...and couldn’t even stand without being pushed by someone or other. It was so crowded…and no seats for 45 min…I needed a beer and now! SO, we decided to give up on trivia and go down the street.
We got to the second bar of the night and went inside…me drinking a black and blue…and him a Sam Adams. We split 1/2-price nachos and talked. Well I talked…he is a nice guy…but doesn’t talk a lot. I am not sure what to say or think about him…the silence is not too comfortable. Will it be once I spend more time with him? I am just not sure…
I just wonder what it is…
What he is thinking…
What I am thinking…
Is he bored?
Am I bored?
So this is what goes on in my head…is it anxiety…is it disinterest? I am just not sure…
He held my hand again…it was interesting…I have never had someone hold my hand at a dinner table before…and honestly I am not sure how I feel about it. I mean it was cute and sweet…but I couldn’t help but look around and wonder what other people thought of the two of us…what did I think of the two of us? What did he think?
The date ended with me driving to the T once again…I was kind of worried he was going to try for a kiss this time…but as luck would have it…the traffic was at a stand still and he was near his stop…so he offered to jump out instead of me pulling up…I took him up on his offer…his saying thanks for inviting me as he jumped out.
So I asked Mr. Artsy to go with me…and he said yes. I picked him up at the Harvard Stop…and got lost on back roads trying to find trivia. We got there...rushed inside...and couldn’t even stand without being pushed by someone or other. It was so crowded…and no seats for 45 min…I needed a beer and now! SO, we decided to give up on trivia and go down the street.
We got to the second bar of the night and went inside…me drinking a black and blue…and him a Sam Adams. We split 1/2-price nachos and talked. Well I talked…he is a nice guy…but doesn’t talk a lot. I am not sure what to say or think about him…the silence is not too comfortable. Will it be once I spend more time with him? I am just not sure…
I just wonder what it is…
What he is thinking…
What I am thinking…
Is he bored?
Am I bored?
So this is what goes on in my head…is it anxiety…is it disinterest? I am just not sure…
He held my hand again…it was interesting…I have never had someone hold my hand at a dinner table before…and honestly I am not sure how I feel about it. I mean it was cute and sweet…but I couldn’t help but look around and wonder what other people thought of the two of us…what did I think of the two of us? What did he think?
The date ended with me driving to the T once again…I was kind of worried he was going to try for a kiss this time…but as luck would have it…the traffic was at a stand still and he was near his stop…so he offered to jump out instead of me pulling up…I took him up on his offer…his saying thanks for inviting me as he jumped out.
Kind of Ironic
I heard from The Hero tonight…damn…he knew once again when I needed to hear from him.
And I hate that I still care…
I hate that I started to tear up when he said he got hurt.
I wish I didn’t care…
I wish my heart didn’t pitter-patter at the sound of my fingers typing to him.
I hate my feeling for a person that I have never even met.
I hate this image, this person that comes to my mind whenever we talk.
My heart races as though he is in front of me saying these words.
I am sad that things didn’t work out differently with him.
I am sad that he never met me…cause I could have been great for him…but maybe just maybe we were never meant to meet.
Its sucks…cause every time I see his name…I think of him.
I hear a song that he likes I think of him…
There are so many memories of someone I don’t really know…not really.
Its funny…I could combine the two…Anchorman and The Hero and I might have the perfect man.
The Hero is what Anchorman isn’t and vice versa….
Just kind of ironic isn’t it,
Maybe it’s my problem after all…
Maybe its easier to fall for some of someone rather then all of them…
Less to be hurt from right?
And I hate that I still care…
I hate that I started to tear up when he said he got hurt.
I wish I didn’t care…
I wish my heart didn’t pitter-patter at the sound of my fingers typing to him.
I hate my feeling for a person that I have never even met.
I hate this image, this person that comes to my mind whenever we talk.
My heart races as though he is in front of me saying these words.
I am sad that things didn’t work out differently with him.
I am sad that he never met me…cause I could have been great for him…but maybe just maybe we were never meant to meet.
Its sucks…cause every time I see his name…I think of him.
I hear a song that he likes I think of him…
There are so many memories of someone I don’t really know…not really.
Its funny…I could combine the two…Anchorman and The Hero and I might have the perfect man.
The Hero is what Anchorman isn’t and vice versa….
Just kind of ironic isn’t it,
Maybe it’s my problem after all…
Maybe its easier to fall for some of someone rather then all of them…
Less to be hurt from right?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Standing up The Lawyer
I stood someone up last week. I couldn’t believe it. I actually didn’t do it intentionally, but it did happen…or he felt like it happened. I forgot to get his number…and he never got mine. I have been talking to him for a few weeks actually. Even mentioned him here once, The Lawyer to be exact.
We never exchanged phone numbers and I was running late. The traffic was crazy…and there was no way I was making it for our 6:30 meeting time. I got to the place at 7:00 on the dot…but he was nowhere to be found.
I sat at the bar and thought…hmm am I turning into a player…or maybe I’m like all the guys that I never met in the past. I wonder now what ran across there minds and how many girls they were talking to and juggling. Cause…I always have to have a few at once now. One is not good enough…if I have just one…to much thought goes into just him…so when I have at least 2 or 3 or 4, I can split my thoughts into all of them, and not just one. Then I can’t get hurt when one doesn’t work out. Since I have 3 more to fall back on. So, I feel bad that he had the feeling that I stood him up…he had to sit or stand and wait for this person that never came. I wonder if he looked at every slightly chubby girl walking towards him and wondered if that was me? I have done that every time I am the first to arrive.
I have a lot going on right now…so the guys are actually second in my thoughts…that is nice…a first in months.
We never exchanged phone numbers and I was running late. The traffic was crazy…and there was no way I was making it for our 6:30 meeting time. I got to the place at 7:00 on the dot…but he was nowhere to be found.
I sat at the bar and thought…hmm am I turning into a player…or maybe I’m like all the guys that I never met in the past. I wonder now what ran across there minds and how many girls they were talking to and juggling. Cause…I always have to have a few at once now. One is not good enough…if I have just one…to much thought goes into just him…so when I have at least 2 or 3 or 4, I can split my thoughts into all of them, and not just one. Then I can’t get hurt when one doesn’t work out. Since I have 3 more to fall back on. So, I feel bad that he had the feeling that I stood him up…he had to sit or stand and wait for this person that never came. I wonder if he looked at every slightly chubby girl walking towards him and wondered if that was me? I have done that every time I am the first to arrive.
I have a lot going on right now…so the guys are actually second in my thoughts…that is nice…a first in months.
Mr Artsy
I was watching Friends, where Chandler is in love with Janice and is freaking out…Rachel and Monica are giving him advice on woman and dating and games. It was funny to watch…especially since I was eating Ben and Jerry’s when Rachel handed Chandler his own pint/ It made me smile, cause I was a little down today…no real reason…just was.
I went on a good date on Friday not. It was a normal…regular speed date. No intense tension…no confusion…no asking for car rides and trying to get me to have sex within hours of meeting for the first time.
He is sweet. We met on Match. We have lots in common…he loves the arts, photo, movies, theater, wine, beer, and lots of the same things as me. Which is nice…
I’m not sure what to call him…maybe Mr. Artsy? He wasn’t what I expected…his picture was different…I thought in my head that he would be a bigger guy. But he was skinny and super tall…says 6’5” on his profile. But, he has glasses—and I do like a guy with glasses. He was cute…but I’m not sure what I feel to be honest. I wasn’t as attracted to him as guys in the past…but maybe I could be.
So we met early for dinner…that he paid for…and then we went to a gallery opening. It was interesting…we were the first to arrive, which meant we met everyone in the place by name and profession. We did get a free glass of wine…good tasty white wine too. We decided to leave as soon as the last drop was gone…heading across the street to the movie theater. We decided on a movie…that I paid for. And went to go get Margarita’s while we waited. We sat at the bar and split a pitcher. IT was fun…although at times I wondered if I talked too much. I couldn’t help myself. I hate that uncomfortable silence that happens when you sit and wait for the next topic of conversation.
We got to the movie and he held my hand. It was actually kind of cute…I wondered if he would when I saw his hand twitching slightly next to me. It was a nice night, ending with a hug at the T station, him going inbound, me going outbound.
I went on a good date on Friday not. It was a normal…regular speed date. No intense tension…no confusion…no asking for car rides and trying to get me to have sex within hours of meeting for the first time.
He is sweet. We met on Match. We have lots in common…he loves the arts, photo, movies, theater, wine, beer, and lots of the same things as me. Which is nice…
I’m not sure what to call him…maybe Mr. Artsy? He wasn’t what I expected…his picture was different…I thought in my head that he would be a bigger guy. But he was skinny and super tall…says 6’5” on his profile. But, he has glasses—and I do like a guy with glasses. He was cute…but I’m not sure what I feel to be honest. I wasn’t as attracted to him as guys in the past…but maybe I could be.
So we met early for dinner…that he paid for…and then we went to a gallery opening. It was interesting…we were the first to arrive, which meant we met everyone in the place by name and profession. We did get a free glass of wine…good tasty white wine too. We decided to leave as soon as the last drop was gone…heading across the street to the movie theater. We decided on a movie…that I paid for. And went to go get Margarita’s while we waited. We sat at the bar and split a pitcher. IT was fun…although at times I wondered if I talked too much. I couldn’t help myself. I hate that uncomfortable silence that happens when you sit and wait for the next topic of conversation.
We got to the movie and he held my hand. It was actually kind of cute…I wondered if he would when I saw his hand twitching slightly next to me. It was a nice night, ending with a hug at the T station, him going inbound, me going outbound.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Need Guidelines
I was talking with a friend yesterday about how I pick guys…and you know…want to know the truth…if they are slightly interesting and give me attention I meet them. Yup that is it…bad I know...But I do say I like to laugh and if they promise to make me laugh…I’m and they are golden.
I decided I do need to be a little more selective…because in the end if I find them interesting I probably will in person too. But in the past I wanted to be intrigued and interested…but the minute they showed an interest in me…I forgot about being interesting in THEM…all I cared about is if they are into ME.
In the beginning it was even worse…like Dr Jekyll…if I met him today…probably wouldn’t be into him…but 9 months ago I was smitten. Why? Cause he showed an interest in me.
I liked The Turkey and The General because they liked me…and were attracted…BUT I was too. And they showed an interest in more then just my looks, we laughed and talked…and had a good time. The General asked tons of questions…showing an interest in what I did.
Not sure what happened with Anchorman…we just hit it off and have fun…from the very beginning…we clicked. BUT, he did show an interest in me…so see that made me like HIM even more.
With Mr. Martini…I didn’t share this in the beginning cause I’m embarrassed that I can ignore something so obvious right from the start. He responded to my ad…. and a few hours went by…I thought I had responded to him…but I guess I didn’t. And I get an email from him saying:
“You SUCK”
Instead…I didn’t go with my gut that I should let him just go and never ever have responded. But nope…I emailed back. And we started talking…him saying “I am a nice guy you know, don’t take the SUCK personally.” See I should have…right from the start. BUT, he was interested in ME…never even seeing a picture of me until the day we met.
Somehow, I need to start getting some guidelines set and be a little more screening before I let myself meet and waste my time with these people. A lot of time its more me. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings…so I give everyone the benefit of the doubt…even when they say, “well I do want a relationship…not just sex.” I don’t know…I am not even sure it is what I am looking…I mean with every date…I know more what I DON’T want. But maybe I don’t know what I do want. I do know I want someone who I can have fun with and laugh with. I started talking to this one guy last night from Match…and you know…we really clicked. He likes a lot of the same things I do. He likes wine tasting and art museums. Art galleries and pubs…I don’t know we just had so much to TALK about…it was kind of fun.
Anyway…I do need to get some guidelines set for myself…I just so afraid of hurting someone…which is ironic because I think I have been hurt more this last year then most people have been there whole lives…SO…I need to STOP worrying about others and start worrying about me…help…
I decided I do need to be a little more selective…because in the end if I find them interesting I probably will in person too. But in the past I wanted to be intrigued and interested…but the minute they showed an interest in me…I forgot about being interesting in THEM…all I cared about is if they are into ME.
In the beginning it was even worse…like Dr Jekyll…if I met him today…probably wouldn’t be into him…but 9 months ago I was smitten. Why? Cause he showed an interest in me.
I liked The Turkey and The General because they liked me…and were attracted…BUT I was too. And they showed an interest in more then just my looks, we laughed and talked…and had a good time. The General asked tons of questions…showing an interest in what I did.
Not sure what happened with Anchorman…we just hit it off and have fun…from the very beginning…we clicked. BUT, he did show an interest in me…so see that made me like HIM even more.
With Mr. Martini…I didn’t share this in the beginning cause I’m embarrassed that I can ignore something so obvious right from the start. He responded to my ad…. and a few hours went by…I thought I had responded to him…but I guess I didn’t. And I get an email from him saying:
“You SUCK”
Instead…I didn’t go with my gut that I should let him just go and never ever have responded. But nope…I emailed back. And we started talking…him saying “I am a nice guy you know, don’t take the SUCK personally.” See I should have…right from the start. BUT, he was interested in ME…never even seeing a picture of me until the day we met.
Somehow, I need to start getting some guidelines set and be a little more screening before I let myself meet and waste my time with these people. A lot of time its more me. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings…so I give everyone the benefit of the doubt…even when they say, “well I do want a relationship…not just sex.” I don’t know…I am not even sure it is what I am looking…I mean with every date…I know more what I DON’T want. But maybe I don’t know what I do want. I do know I want someone who I can have fun with and laugh with. I started talking to this one guy last night from Match…and you know…we really clicked. He likes a lot of the same things I do. He likes wine tasting and art museums. Art galleries and pubs…I don’t know we just had so much to TALK about…it was kind of fun.
Anyway…I do need to get some guidelines set for myself…I just so afraid of hurting someone…which is ironic because I think I have been hurt more this last year then most people have been there whole lives…SO…I need to STOP worrying about others and start worrying about me…help…
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Mr Martini and I...yea not so much
Today is the day for love… it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other; sending Valentine's cards or candy. It is very common to present flowers on Valentine's Day.
I hate this day…I hate how for some it can make you feel so alive. And like the day is meant for…to feel in love or to be loved…but for the single it sucks.
Every year I tell myself who cares? All it is a money maker…that’s all…but without fail year after year I let it make me sad for being alone on V-day.
But, I do fall victim…and got to work this morning down and sad. I decided to do another ad on CL…similar to the one last week:
“Where are the guys all my friends meet? I want a guy to wine and dine me. I want a Valentine... Lets go on a few dates, maybe kiss once or twice and like me for me. Help me like them for them. All I’ve met are the guys that want to fool around during the first date...you see I have a 5-6 date rule. I’m not that kind of girl...I want to have fun, see where it can go...eventually LTR...not looking to be married just yet...but am looking for more then being a hook up girl.
I am not thin, I’m not huge either…but I am overweight…a size 16. So if overweight women are a turn off…don’t waste my or your time.
Are there any guys that want to DATE me...see where it can go??”
A lot of times I write these ads…more because one out of the 50 that email me I end up meeting…for example Mr. Martini.
Now let me update you on him shall we. We talked for a few on Saturday…not to much just a few quick emails. On Sunday nothing…Monday we emailed a few times…him claiming to be to busy at work to talk much…which is totally fine and understandable. I did ask him if we made it to a second date and he said, “what would you like to do?” I made some suggestions and then we never made any set date…which seemed odd to me since he was instant last week that we make a date for Friday night. A little different tune this week…but I wasn’t sure if I was being paranoid or not.
Yesterday, I was down about the whole Anchorman night and decided to call Mr. Martini to see if he wanted to do something. He called back leaving less the a 45 second message saying he went to the dentist so no he couldn’t hang out. Ok that was an ok excuse…but like I said maybe it was in my head that he seemed a little distant.
Today I sent an email asking if he was at work…and then did the CL ad.
I get a response from him through email…with the CL ad copied into the body. OK? So…what does that mean really? I emailed him asking…are you pissed?
First of all…I didn’t know how into me he was since…he hasn’t been all that attentive towards me since the Friday night…and we did spend a lot of time together on that First date. So, if he was so taken with me? Why not call? Why go on CL today at all if he was so smitten?
Cause, in the long run…he did go online and browse the ads…to find mine…that had a different title then the ad he replied to. So…he was looking as much as I am when posting. One date does not equal exclusive rights…maybe it would if he was a little more attentive and me not questioning his intentions on Friday night in the first place.
I get an email from him saying: “I think you try to meet people off the web to much that’s not what I am looking for, so take care”
SO I write back and called saying: “wow, I’m sorry...I really don’t meet many people...out of the last ad...you were the only one...and then today I was down because its V-day and I’m alone---so I posted another to see if I could talk to someone while at work...to really meet that person...probably not.
and you were looking too...
I like you... and would like to see you again.
I am a little clueless on the dating game...or else I would know how to be I guess.
I guess I hope you change your mind...or at least talk to me about it.”
But I haven’t heard from him. You know, its probably better this way…he was a little pushy and demanding in a lot of ways---especially on a first date.
I think I was taken with him because he wasn’t Anchorman…and he was cute in his way. I was attracted…I admit it…and there was a connection. A connection that is definitely missing from most first dates I’ve had. But I think I liked more that he met my friends and we all had fun. But he drank so much…and even though in some ways it was like 2 dates in one…he was really really pushy towards the end. I mean yes, he was drunk…but he knew he was on a date…and knew he had to drive. SLOW DOWN.
I just feel like in the end…maybe I did mess up…and maybe I do meet to many people online. I don’t know? He made me feel ashamed actually…like it was my fault…when I really wonder If he had any intentions of seeing me again after we got into his car to drive to mine. I didn’t give out…and at the same time he did get some action if not a lot… which is a little abnormal for me, but he was so PUSHY. On the drive to my car…he was a little cold…and for the first time in my life I felt that feeling of regret the morning after. Like I said…nothing MAJOR happened…but…
Anyway…I did have the last word (in my own head) saying: “good luck to you then...I guess you got what you wanted after all...”
I don’t know…I just have this feeling…and in my ad I do kind of send a challenge out there…that I have a 5 date rule…maybe he just wanted to break it. Or maybe? He’s right…and I did something wrong in sending out another AD…not sure what is right and what is wrong in this picture at this time.
I do know that this Valentines Day for one sexless in the city…was a doozy. Lets hope that one of these days I will make it one day like every other.
I hate this day…I hate how for some it can make you feel so alive. And like the day is meant for…to feel in love or to be loved…but for the single it sucks.
Every year I tell myself who cares? All it is a money maker…that’s all…but without fail year after year I let it make me sad for being alone on V-day.
But, I do fall victim…and got to work this morning down and sad. I decided to do another ad on CL…similar to the one last week:
“Where are the guys all my friends meet? I want a guy to wine and dine me. I want a Valentine... Lets go on a few dates, maybe kiss once or twice and like me for me. Help me like them for them. All I’ve met are the guys that want to fool around during the first date...you see I have a 5-6 date rule. I’m not that kind of girl...I want to have fun, see where it can go...eventually LTR...not looking to be married just yet...but am looking for more then being a hook up girl.
I am not thin, I’m not huge either…but I am overweight…a size 16. So if overweight women are a turn off…don’t waste my or your time.
Are there any guys that want to DATE me...see where it can go??”
A lot of times I write these ads…more because one out of the 50 that email me I end up meeting…for example Mr. Martini.
Now let me update you on him shall we. We talked for a few on Saturday…not to much just a few quick emails. On Sunday nothing…Monday we emailed a few times…him claiming to be to busy at work to talk much…which is totally fine and understandable. I did ask him if we made it to a second date and he said, “what would you like to do?” I made some suggestions and then we never made any set date…which seemed odd to me since he was instant last week that we make a date for Friday night. A little different tune this week…but I wasn’t sure if I was being paranoid or not.
Yesterday, I was down about the whole Anchorman night and decided to call Mr. Martini to see if he wanted to do something. He called back leaving less the a 45 second message saying he went to the dentist so no he couldn’t hang out. Ok that was an ok excuse…but like I said maybe it was in my head that he seemed a little distant.
Today I sent an email asking if he was at work…and then did the CL ad.
I get a response from him through email…with the CL ad copied into the body. OK? So…what does that mean really? I emailed him asking…are you pissed?
First of all…I didn’t know how into me he was since…he hasn’t been all that attentive towards me since the Friday night…and we did spend a lot of time together on that First date. So, if he was so taken with me? Why not call? Why go on CL today at all if he was so smitten?
Cause, in the long run…he did go online and browse the ads…to find mine…that had a different title then the ad he replied to. So…he was looking as much as I am when posting. One date does not equal exclusive rights…maybe it would if he was a little more attentive and me not questioning his intentions on Friday night in the first place.
I get an email from him saying: “I think you try to meet people off the web to much that’s not what I am looking for, so take care”
SO I write back and called saying: “wow, I’m sorry...I really don’t meet many people...out of the last ad...you were the only one...and then today I was down because its V-day and I’m alone---so I posted another to see if I could talk to someone while at work...to really meet that person...probably not.
and you were looking too...
I like you... and would like to see you again.
I am a little clueless on the dating game...or else I would know how to be I guess.
I guess I hope you change your mind...or at least talk to me about it.”
But I haven’t heard from him. You know, its probably better this way…he was a little pushy and demanding in a lot of ways---especially on a first date.
I think I was taken with him because he wasn’t Anchorman…and he was cute in his way. I was attracted…I admit it…and there was a connection. A connection that is definitely missing from most first dates I’ve had. But I think I liked more that he met my friends and we all had fun. But he drank so much…and even though in some ways it was like 2 dates in one…he was really really pushy towards the end. I mean yes, he was drunk…but he knew he was on a date…and knew he had to drive. SLOW DOWN.
I just feel like in the end…maybe I did mess up…and maybe I do meet to many people online. I don’t know? He made me feel ashamed actually…like it was my fault…when I really wonder If he had any intentions of seeing me again after we got into his car to drive to mine. I didn’t give out…and at the same time he did get some action if not a lot… which is a little abnormal for me, but he was so PUSHY. On the drive to my car…he was a little cold…and for the first time in my life I felt that feeling of regret the morning after. Like I said…nothing MAJOR happened…but…
Anyway…I did have the last word (in my own head) saying: “good luck to you then...I guess you got what you wanted after all...”
I don’t know…I just have this feeling…and in my ad I do kind of send a challenge out there…that I have a 5 date rule…maybe he just wanted to break it. Or maybe? He’s right…and I did something wrong in sending out another AD…not sure what is right and what is wrong in this picture at this time.
I do know that this Valentines Day for one sexless in the city…was a doozy. Lets hope that one of these days I will make it one day like every other.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Damn It!!!
I cleaned away any reminders of Anchorman last night…I felt like I had cleansed myself in this weird way. I cleaned my whole room, washed all my clothes…no reminders of us…the t-shirt he left behind went into the corner of my closet…the one sock left went into my new garbage can. As 11 were approaching and sleep was nearing…I felt better.
I realized that in the last few days…that I thought of Mr. Martini more then Anchorman, and was excited about seeing him again…which was nice to feel.
Then…I see a little: “Hey”
I couldn’t decide if I should just ignore it…ignore Anchorman’s IM. I never ever hear from him on the weekdays…well rarely... and since I ended things… it’s been twice.
I said, “Hello”and he says, “Do you want to hang out?” I started laughing and responded, “Yes…and NO!”
He then says, “Please!!!!” “My heats out and I’m freezing... please please can I come over and stay the night.”
He knew exactly what to do to get me to say yes…knew that I would feel bad…and agree to let him come over. And I did…and it’s dumb because my heart started racing and I was excited to see him…Damn it…
I am so mad at myself for allowing it…allowing him to enter back into my life…let alone my bedroom.
But, I missed him damn it. Did I miss the comfort? The crazy butterflies when he touches me. Or just because its something/someone I am comfortable with? I don’t know?
I told him that maybe I would move to Vegas…and he freaked---“What? You can’t leave? What do you mean, you moving? Id miss you to much.”
I didn’t say anything at all... But I wonder what he is thinking and feeling. When 5 days ago he told me he didn’t want anything with me that was serious. Then tonight…he says this and gets mad when I mention an ex boyfriend…saying, “I don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriends and flips over on his side.
I am not sure how or where this is going from here…I still don’t want to see him…cause he just makes me want him more…and it complicates thing. Since he says he doesn’t want more…and then has moments when he acts like he does. I cant do this anymore…lets hope I am stronger the next time.
I realized that in the last few days…that I thought of Mr. Martini more then Anchorman, and was excited about seeing him again…which was nice to feel.
Then…I see a little: “Hey”
I couldn’t decide if I should just ignore it…ignore Anchorman’s IM. I never ever hear from him on the weekdays…well rarely... and since I ended things… it’s been twice.
I said, “Hello”and he says, “Do you want to hang out?” I started laughing and responded, “Yes…and NO!”
He then says, “Please!!!!” “My heats out and I’m freezing... please please can I come over and stay the night.”
He knew exactly what to do to get me to say yes…knew that I would feel bad…and agree to let him come over. And I did…and it’s dumb because my heart started racing and I was excited to see him…Damn it…
I am so mad at myself for allowing it…allowing him to enter back into my life…let alone my bedroom.
But, I missed him damn it. Did I miss the comfort? The crazy butterflies when he touches me. Or just because its something/someone I am comfortable with? I don’t know?
I told him that maybe I would move to Vegas…and he freaked---“What? You can’t leave? What do you mean, you moving? Id miss you to much.”
I didn’t say anything at all... But I wonder what he is thinking and feeling. When 5 days ago he told me he didn’t want anything with me that was serious. Then tonight…he says this and gets mad when I mention an ex boyfriend…saying, “I don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriends and flips over on his side.
I am not sure how or where this is going from here…I still don’t want to see him…cause he just makes me want him more…and it complicates thing. Since he says he doesn’t want more…and then has moments when he acts like he does. I cant do this anymore…lets hope I am stronger the next time.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Mr Martini
It is 2:12 AM…and I am online…its dumb but a part of me hopes Anchorman will forget everything we ended and IM me like usual…. why? Why do I do this to myself? Makes me wonder what I really feel for him…I am just not sure…I am just really really confused.
I even kissed a new guy tonight…that was a first for me since I met Anchorman. He was nice…we went to a nice dinner and had a great time. Its funny because he never even insisted on having a picture of me, which was nice actually. I sent along mine finally because I wanted one of us to find the other at least.
So I arrived at dinner, not feeling 100% because I have been sick with a cold that kicked me in the ass most of the week. We got there and had to wait for a table, the conversation was a little awkward at first…as it usually is in the beginning. After one Martini, and some lady sitting next to us at the bar, smiles and says “Is this your first date?” Which Mr. Martini responds and says, “why no its not, is it yours?”
The date was nice…we seemed to get along great…he even paid which was nice…since I am low on money and the last guy made me pay the whole shebang.
Finally towards the end of dinner he says, now what are we doing? I have no idea honestly…and I was having fun. I had made plans with some friends for to meet them to see a friend play at a bar not to far away. SO we hit it on over that away. Instead of one car, we decided he would drive. We walk out towards his car and he says can I have a hug? And then lands one on my lips in the process. No tongue action thank god.
So we are driving towards the bar and we miss the place…and then he says…I need to run home for a sec. I’ll be honest…I started to freak…what the hell was I going to do now? So he then proceeds to tell me what a nice guy he is…and he promises he’s not going to try anything…he knows about the 5-date rule you see.
We arrive at his place, and he runs inside leaving me in the car. While he is inside, thoughts are swarming inside my head…Coke? Does he do drugs you think and had to go home and get them? I am not sure? Maybe he had to take a shit and didn’t want to at the bar…my dad always did that…hahaaha. I have no idea…but true to his word he was back 5 minutes later and we are driving back towards the bar.
We arrive and park, we walk towards the bar and he lands another kiss on me…ok this time with some tongue…interesting I must say.
The Draft was not as packed as I expected…maybe it was still early. It was nice to be able to introduce my friends to my date. Out of all the dates I have been on…I have never had my friends meet the guy I am seeing. It was nice…it was nice to see him make an effort and find that they had things in common. It is true…someone I end up spending time with, I want him to be friends with my friends too. But, I got a little weirded out when he kept handing out his card…he got drunker and got a little braggier. He is a trust fund baby you see…and this came out a few times in the process of the night. He was nice and I did laugh. I am just not used to someone who is materialistic. Maybe he isn’t and I shouldn’t judge…but we shall see…
He came home with me…yea I know…I am crazy…but he was drunk and he was not sober enough to drive. So he was going to sleep on my couch…and my roommate is home this weekend…so I knew nothing could happen.
We get to my place, and lie on my bed…I couldn’t help but think of Anchorman…as he kissed me, I wanted it to be Anchormans soft mouth over mine…yea not a good start huh. It was hard for me not to think of that though…
I stood my ground though…5-date rule…and I didn’t break it…no chance…I am NOT that type of girl. No matter how hard he tried to get more…I wasn’t budging. I don’t know…I just couldn’t do it. If I did that with every guy I was attracted to, man that could be a lot of guys in the next year. Yea, so I am holding to that rule. And if he doesn’t call me tomorrow…or Sunday its because I guess I didn’t mean that much to him. And if I had slept with him and he doesn’t call tomorrow or Sunday, then I would have been even more crushed. So at least I have that to stand against.
We finally ended the night with him driving me to my car…where the night began. With a nice kiss on the lips and a I’ll talk to you later…
I even kissed a new guy tonight…that was a first for me since I met Anchorman. He was nice…we went to a nice dinner and had a great time. Its funny because he never even insisted on having a picture of me, which was nice actually. I sent along mine finally because I wanted one of us to find the other at least.
So I arrived at dinner, not feeling 100% because I have been sick with a cold that kicked me in the ass most of the week. We got there and had to wait for a table, the conversation was a little awkward at first…as it usually is in the beginning. After one Martini, and some lady sitting next to us at the bar, smiles and says “Is this your first date?” Which Mr. Martini responds and says, “why no its not, is it yours?”
The date was nice…we seemed to get along great…he even paid which was nice…since I am low on money and the last guy made me pay the whole shebang.
Finally towards the end of dinner he says, now what are we doing? I have no idea honestly…and I was having fun. I had made plans with some friends for to meet them to see a friend play at a bar not to far away. SO we hit it on over that away. Instead of one car, we decided he would drive. We walk out towards his car and he says can I have a hug? And then lands one on my lips in the process. No tongue action thank god.
So we are driving towards the bar and we miss the place…and then he says…I need to run home for a sec. I’ll be honest…I started to freak…what the hell was I going to do now? So he then proceeds to tell me what a nice guy he is…and he promises he’s not going to try anything…he knows about the 5-date rule you see.
We arrive at his place, and he runs inside leaving me in the car. While he is inside, thoughts are swarming inside my head…Coke? Does he do drugs you think and had to go home and get them? I am not sure? Maybe he had to take a shit and didn’t want to at the bar…my dad always did that…hahaaha. I have no idea…but true to his word he was back 5 minutes later and we are driving back towards the bar.
We arrive and park, we walk towards the bar and he lands another kiss on me…ok this time with some tongue…interesting I must say.
The Draft was not as packed as I expected…maybe it was still early. It was nice to be able to introduce my friends to my date. Out of all the dates I have been on…I have never had my friends meet the guy I am seeing. It was nice…it was nice to see him make an effort and find that they had things in common. It is true…someone I end up spending time with, I want him to be friends with my friends too. But, I got a little weirded out when he kept handing out his card…he got drunker and got a little braggier. He is a trust fund baby you see…and this came out a few times in the process of the night. He was nice and I did laugh. I am just not used to someone who is materialistic. Maybe he isn’t and I shouldn’t judge…but we shall see…
He came home with me…yea I know…I am crazy…but he was drunk and he was not sober enough to drive. So he was going to sleep on my couch…and my roommate is home this weekend…so I knew nothing could happen.
We get to my place, and lie on my bed…I couldn’t help but think of Anchorman…as he kissed me, I wanted it to be Anchormans soft mouth over mine…yea not a good start huh. It was hard for me not to think of that though…
I stood my ground though…5-date rule…and I didn’t break it…no chance…I am NOT that type of girl. No matter how hard he tried to get more…I wasn’t budging. I don’t know…I just couldn’t do it. If I did that with every guy I was attracted to, man that could be a lot of guys in the next year. Yea, so I am holding to that rule. And if he doesn’t call me tomorrow…or Sunday its because I guess I didn’t mean that much to him. And if I had slept with him and he doesn’t call tomorrow or Sunday, then I would have been even more crushed. So at least I have that to stand against.
We finally ended the night with him driving me to my car…where the night began. With a nice kiss on the lips and a I’ll talk to you later…
Thursday, February 8, 2007
It's officially over
I talked to Anchorman tonight on IM…damn it…at least he Imed me first, but we talked things out…. and its still over.
I want to soooo bad right now to forget all I have said and send him an IM that says…I’m sorry don’t listen to my evil twin “Kerrie”
But, in the long run…I am going to feel like this again in a few months, weeks, days, hours… so what is a girl to do? Kerrie and KT will have to survive I guess without Anchorman once and for all.
I am sad though…at least I am happy that we talked about it without me just never hearing from him again, and I am not crying about it at least…at least that is done with once and for all…for tonight… for right this second at least.
He doesn’t want more he said…he wants to keep things the way they are. I said its not enough for me though…I want someone who wants breakfast with me at least. I admitted that I thought he was embarrassed of me…he said, “why would I be embarrassed? I just like keeping you to myself. I like it being a secret.” I even brought up the no phone conversation…and he says, “If I call you, will you rethink things?” I did, I admit I was soooo tempted to give in and say hell ok…lets keep having fun. BUT…then I just can’t do it…especially since I am comparing every guy I meet to him…and probably will for a while. But its better for it to end now, before it gets worse…not better….
I’m just sad…. why cant things work out the way I want them to.
I want to soooo bad right now to forget all I have said and send him an IM that says…I’m sorry don’t listen to my evil twin “Kerrie”
But, in the long run…I am going to feel like this again in a few months, weeks, days, hours… so what is a girl to do? Kerrie and KT will have to survive I guess without Anchorman once and for all.
I am sad though…at least I am happy that we talked about it without me just never hearing from him again, and I am not crying about it at least…at least that is done with once and for all…for tonight… for right this second at least.
He doesn’t want more he said…he wants to keep things the way they are. I said its not enough for me though…I want someone who wants breakfast with me at least. I admitted that I thought he was embarrassed of me…he said, “why would I be embarrassed? I just like keeping you to myself. I like it being a secret.” I even brought up the no phone conversation…and he says, “If I call you, will you rethink things?” I did, I admit I was soooo tempted to give in and say hell ok…lets keep having fun. BUT…then I just can’t do it…especially since I am comparing every guy I meet to him…and probably will for a while. But its better for it to end now, before it gets worse…not better….
I’m just sad…. why cant things work out the way I want them to.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Dear Anchorman...
Its kind of Ironic…3 months to the day that I met Anchorman I broke up with him. Yep, it’s official. I’m sad…not to the point of heart broken…but I am sad for what could have been.
He came over Friday night and spent the night…it was fun as usual. Him talking with little intimacy moments here and there…like when he asks why I moved something…when he is used to it that way. Or when he lied down on bed and he says, me on my side huh. Or as I walked into my room and he left behind one sock and his white t-shirt on the floor. How he missed them, I have no clue. Makes me wonder…did he forget them on purpose or was he in such a rush to leave that he just forgot them…. hmmm yea.
As we were waking up he made some comment about it being ok if I got up…I could go make him breakfast…which was a joke. So I say, “Hahah, but will you go get breakfast with me?” and he says, “OK, but let me rest another few.” So after a bit, I got up and went into the shower.
Then I hear, “Hey, What are you doing?”
“Showering”
“Ohhh, ok…well I’m leaving now.”
“Ok.” Me being not some over pushy female, I let him go. What was I going to do? Yell..."Well I thought you were going to have breakfast with me.” But, nope I just say OK.
He then asks, “Are you going to be around tomorrow?”
I felt like yelling, “Fuck You…I’m not going to be around anymore, I have a life, work, friends, and no more of this bullshit.” But I said, “I don’t know.”
I ended up sending an email instead of talking to him about it face to face. But, since I have no way of getting a hold of him and not in the mood to wait until I hear from him again. Email is the only way to go.
My email went like this:
Hi,
I have been thinking…and I have so much fun with you and want you…a lot…
BUT, I want more…I don’t want marriage or anything really serious…but I want more then just “fun”. I know I said I was ok with nothing serious in the beginning…but I want more now then three months ago…I want movies…and dinner from time to time. I love hanging out at home, but I want more then just that. I want a way to get a hold of each other besides IM and email.
I want someone who wants to go to breakfast the morning after.
So anyway, I don’t know what else to say… cause I don’t think you are all that interested…if you are let me know…if not I guess good luck to you…
That was my email…I’m sad that it is coming to an end…cause I do like him and I do want more with HIM…but I guess it has stopped being fun, and I’m starting to feel bad about myself…especially when I wonder…is it me he doesn’t want to be with? Is he embarrassed of me? The funny thing is I AM embarrassed of me for letting him treat me this way for this long…I write about him on the blog…and its embarrassing at times. Or maybe in the long run its him…and I just needed to end it. I can’t give myself or let myself be totally into anyone else until this is over and finished…
He came over Friday night and spent the night…it was fun as usual. Him talking with little intimacy moments here and there…like when he asks why I moved something…when he is used to it that way. Or when he lied down on bed and he says, me on my side huh. Or as I walked into my room and he left behind one sock and his white t-shirt on the floor. How he missed them, I have no clue. Makes me wonder…did he forget them on purpose or was he in such a rush to leave that he just forgot them…. hmmm yea.
As we were waking up he made some comment about it being ok if I got up…I could go make him breakfast…which was a joke. So I say, “Hahah, but will you go get breakfast with me?” and he says, “OK, but let me rest another few.” So after a bit, I got up and went into the shower.
Then I hear, “Hey, What are you doing?”
“Showering”
“Ohhh, ok…well I’m leaving now.”
“Ok.” Me being not some over pushy female, I let him go. What was I going to do? Yell..."Well I thought you were going to have breakfast with me.” But, nope I just say OK.
He then asks, “Are you going to be around tomorrow?”
I felt like yelling, “Fuck You…I’m not going to be around anymore, I have a life, work, friends, and no more of this bullshit.” But I said, “I don’t know.”
I ended up sending an email instead of talking to him about it face to face. But, since I have no way of getting a hold of him and not in the mood to wait until I hear from him again. Email is the only way to go.
My email went like this:
Hi,
I have been thinking…and I have so much fun with you and want you…a lot…
BUT, I want more…I don’t want marriage or anything really serious…but I want more then just “fun”. I know I said I was ok with nothing serious in the beginning…but I want more now then three months ago…I want movies…and dinner from time to time. I love hanging out at home, but I want more then just that. I want a way to get a hold of each other besides IM and email.
I want someone who wants to go to breakfast the morning after.
So anyway, I don’t know what else to say… cause I don’t think you are all that interested…if you are let me know…if not I guess good luck to you…
That was my email…I’m sad that it is coming to an end…cause I do like him and I do want more with HIM…but I guess it has stopped being fun, and I’m starting to feel bad about myself…especially when I wonder…is it me he doesn’t want to be with? Is he embarrassed of me? The funny thing is I AM embarrassed of me for letting him treat me this way for this long…I write about him on the blog…and its embarrassing at times. Or maybe in the long run its him…and I just needed to end it. I can’t give myself or let myself be totally into anyone else until this is over and finished…
Friday, February 2, 2007
Another Post: Why not?
So I have been on Match for a little while, what two weeks now...and nothing set in stone yet...its hard to meet people on there at times...
But there have been a few who I have talked to in the past or right now from CL. So see, CL in Boston can yes be sketchy, but you can also meet lots of ok people on there too that have used or are using Match.
So I decided to after meeting some guy last night...who kind of reminded me of Donald Trump. I really cannot stand him...his mouth drives me crazy--and not a good crazy. So yes, this guy last night looked like him...and I was just sooo bored. And in the middle of the date he says..."So when are you going to come and meet my dog?"
He said it in this sleazy way...that makes me know that he wasn’t just talking about seeing his "dog."
Yes...I decided to post another ad on CL....knowing that I need to be a little more watchful of who I am meeting. But some guys are great...just not meant for me. Some people I have met have become my best friends here...so as long as I’m careful...why not?
So this is the Ad I put in:
Lets DATE:
Where are the guys all my friends meet? I want a guy to wine and dine me. Lets go on a few dates, maybe kiss once or twice and like me for me. Help me like them for them. All I’ve met are the guys that want to fool around during the first date...you see I have a 5-6 date rule. I’m not that kind of girl...I want to have fun, see where it can go...not looking to be married...but am looking for more then being a hook up girl.
I am not thin, I’m not huge either…but I am overweight…a size 16. So if overweight women are a turn off…don’t waste my or your time.
Are there any guys that want to DATE me...see where it can go??
And I get this response from one guy which I thought I would share...and see this is why I get down on myself from time to time...so I am going to post it so I can laugh it off and NOT have it get to me.
Reality Check: If you look like Eva Longoria, you can get away with being a "5-6 date rule" girl. If you are a size 16, you can't. Sorry, but that's life, I don't make the rules.
You're more likely to find the type of guy you're looking for in church than on Craiglist.
So anyway....
But there have been a few who I have talked to in the past or right now from CL. So see, CL in Boston can yes be sketchy, but you can also meet lots of ok people on there too that have used or are using Match.
So I decided to after meeting some guy last night...who kind of reminded me of Donald Trump. I really cannot stand him...his mouth drives me crazy--and not a good crazy. So yes, this guy last night looked like him...and I was just sooo bored. And in the middle of the date he says..."So when are you going to come and meet my dog?"
He said it in this sleazy way...that makes me know that he wasn’t just talking about seeing his "dog."
Yes...I decided to post another ad on CL....knowing that I need to be a little more watchful of who I am meeting. But some guys are great...just not meant for me. Some people I have met have become my best friends here...so as long as I’m careful...why not?
So this is the Ad I put in:
Lets DATE:
Where are the guys all my friends meet? I want a guy to wine and dine me. Lets go on a few dates, maybe kiss once or twice and like me for me. Help me like them for them. All I’ve met are the guys that want to fool around during the first date...you see I have a 5-6 date rule. I’m not that kind of girl...I want to have fun, see where it can go...not looking to be married...but am looking for more then being a hook up girl.
I am not thin, I’m not huge either…but I am overweight…a size 16. So if overweight women are a turn off…don’t waste my or your time.
Are there any guys that want to DATE me...see where it can go??
And I get this response from one guy which I thought I would share...and see this is why I get down on myself from time to time...so I am going to post it so I can laugh it off and NOT have it get to me.
Reality Check: If you look like Eva Longoria, you can get away with being a "5-6 date rule" girl. If you are a size 16, you can't. Sorry, but that's life, I don't make the rules.
You're more likely to find the type of guy you're looking for in church than on Craiglist.
So anyway....
Thursday, February 1, 2007
The start of The Lawyer
I was suppose to be meeting some guy that I am actually really excited about meeting, but he had to postpone…
“Hey,I would never stand you up - or anyone else for that matter. I believe in common decency.
It seems like I need to postpone. Is that alright with you? Do I get another date? Lol”
And of course I say yes…at least he canceled and didn’t just blow me off completely. Then he emails and say:
“I do not remember if I have already told you this but the truth is I am a very busy guy....I have a full time job, a part-time legal intership and law school....that being said, I do want to make time for you....I just want you to know about my availabilty before anything develops....I would be very happy if you'd still want to see me...lol”
So anyway, the Lawyer had to cancel so I made other plans.
“Hey,I would never stand you up - or anyone else for that matter. I believe in common decency.
It seems like I need to postpone. Is that alright with you? Do I get another date? Lol”
And of course I say yes…at least he canceled and didn’t just blow me off completely. Then he emails and say:
“I do not remember if I have already told you this but the truth is I am a very busy guy....I have a full time job, a part-time legal intership and law school....that being said, I do want to make time for you....I just want you to know about my availabilty before anything develops....I would be very happy if you'd still want to see me...lol”
So anyway, the Lawyer had to cancel so I made other plans.
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