I made plans with Anchorman this weekend…lets see if he holds his end of the bargain…lets just see shall we. We are suppose to do the movies…and its more of a test to see if he really goes or not…
He did finally give me his phone number…and I did call him…and we did hang out again tonight…for a lil’ bit…I know I know…its starting all over again…
Im not sure what I am doing…once again I am just having fun…my heart might be a little bit harder to chip this time around…or that is what I am telling myself…trying to convince myself. But it is what it is…what can I say?
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mr Match wasnt a Match afterall
Mr. Match and I were walking back to my car…it was sweet…the place was pretty dead at 12:30…while he walked me across the parking lot. We get to the car…and he looks really really nervous…hmmm wonder why? Is he going to kiss me or what is he going to do?
“I had a really great time tonight, but I just don’t see this going anywhere.”
Me holding in my pride smiled and said, ”sure that’s fine…its ok really…”
I am not sure what happened…I kind of felt that he wasn’t into it…
1. Was it because I met with Anchorman and was not as into it as I should have been?
2. Was it the way I looked?
3. Was he annoyed about the night before and me canceling on him?
4. Was it that I talked too much trying to fill in the gaps while he was quiet-He said he was tired?
5. Was it someone else he is more into---someone who he hasn’t forgotten either?
We met after I got out of work on Saturday night…and we went and grabbed some food for me and a beer for him…which I bought because he had bought my drinks the last date.
It was a nice time…def not as nice as the previous time…but better then others in my past. So I was a little shocked when he said he wasn’t into it. I try not to think about the negatives…that it def isn’t just me…its not because I’m not beautiful enough or smart enough or interesting enough for him. I don’t know…but I guess it is what it is.
I guess Mr. Match wasnt a match afterall.
“I had a really great time tonight, but I just don’t see this going anywhere.”
Me holding in my pride smiled and said, ”sure that’s fine…its ok really…”
I am not sure what happened…I kind of felt that he wasn’t into it…
1. Was it because I met with Anchorman and was not as into it as I should have been?
2. Was it the way I looked?
3. Was he annoyed about the night before and me canceling on him?
4. Was it that I talked too much trying to fill in the gaps while he was quiet-He said he was tired?
5. Was it someone else he is more into---someone who he hasn’t forgotten either?
We met after I got out of work on Saturday night…and we went and grabbed some food for me and a beer for him…which I bought because he had bought my drinks the last date.
It was a nice time…def not as nice as the previous time…but better then others in my past. So I was a little shocked when he said he wasn’t into it. I try not to think about the negatives…that it def isn’t just me…its not because I’m not beautiful enough or smart enough or interesting enough for him. I don’t know…but I guess it is what it is.
I guess Mr. Match wasnt a match afterall.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Anchorman and I 4 coffee...
Yesterday was an interesting day…I woke up and did my usual check of my email…and saw that Anchorman was online…
Yes…he was still on my list…I am not sure why to be honest…but one time in the last few weeks I had put him back on…its hard to resist…since I have it memorized…its like a phone number…how can you forget it?
So we started talking…and I started crying…damn it…I miss him…more then I thought…well no that’s not true…I know I missed him…but damn it what was I doing? Talking to him? But I couldn’t help myself…I cared about how he was doing…as stupid, as that may seem.
He was doing good…or so he says…its so hard to tell. Then he says,”Do you want to hang out for a bit?” I wanted to scream…”HELLYES”
“I don’t know” is what I said…
Anchorman: we can just talk
Me: I need coffee--u want to meet for coffee?
Anchorman: I don't drink caffeine
Anchorman: makes me ADD
Me: breakfast?
Anchorman: hot chocolate!!
Anchorman: you like starbucks?
Me: whatever
Anchorman: k, I’ll pick you up in a few?
Me: ok
So he did just that…picked me up and we went and got coffee…an interesting thing I must say. I don’t know what to say…but it did make me want more again…made me have hope for something that probably doesn’t exist.
He wanted me to call in…which I was tempted to do…but I’m glad I said no…with his pout and all…because I am going to be hard to get I guess…because dumb as it is...I am kind of hoping he did miss me...however it ends up...I had yesterday to know that he def is 26...there is no way his face is under 20...and even if I never hear from him again...I had a better ending then the way it ended 7 weeks ago...but see do I want it to be over? I want him to call me tomorrow and say that he wants to work on something real with me...but I know that this is pipe dreams.
I need to update on the second and last date with Mr Match...which I will do at a later date...
Yes…he was still on my list…I am not sure why to be honest…but one time in the last few weeks I had put him back on…its hard to resist…since I have it memorized…its like a phone number…how can you forget it?
So we started talking…and I started crying…damn it…I miss him…more then I thought…well no that’s not true…I know I missed him…but damn it what was I doing? Talking to him? But I couldn’t help myself…I cared about how he was doing…as stupid, as that may seem.
He was doing good…or so he says…its so hard to tell. Then he says,”Do you want to hang out for a bit?” I wanted to scream…”HELLYES”
“I don’t know” is what I said…
Anchorman: we can just talk
Me: I need coffee--u want to meet for coffee?
Anchorman: I don't drink caffeine
Anchorman: makes me ADD
Me: breakfast?
Anchorman: hot chocolate!!
Anchorman: you like starbucks?
Me: whatever
Anchorman: k, I’ll pick you up in a few?
Me: ok
So he did just that…picked me up and we went and got coffee…an interesting thing I must say. I don’t know what to say…but it did make me want more again…made me have hope for something that probably doesn’t exist.
He wanted me to call in…which I was tempted to do…but I’m glad I said no…with his pout and all…because I am going to be hard to get I guess…because dumb as it is...I am kind of hoping he did miss me...however it ends up...I had yesterday to know that he def is 26...there is no way his face is under 20...and even if I never hear from him again...I had a better ending then the way it ended 7 weeks ago...but see do I want it to be over? I want him to call me tomorrow and say that he wants to work on something real with me...but I know that this is pipe dreams.
I need to update on the second and last date with Mr Match...which I will do at a later date...
Friday, April 20, 2007
420-421
Well, I had to cancel my date…had to work…of course the more nervous I got today…the more I knew I would have to go in…
I called and left a message with him…I think I’m scared to be honest cause I kind of like him…or do I like the idea of him? I don’t know…as usual.
I miss my friend Mr. Festive too…as crazy as that may sound…I feel like us kissing the other night ruined what friendship we had…or maybe I’m just super paranoid…cause that is the case sometimes…and I have never been the girl to loose control before…and lately---I am just not sure who I am to be honest with ya.
But Mr. Match did call me back…and we rescheduled for tomorrow night…although he wanted tomorrow afternoon…I am not sure why…he didn’t say…but I cant because I have to work…so tomorrow at 8 it will have to be.
1. Maybe he isn’t all the interested—A matinee is less intimate…or maybe I just don’t know either way…. cause when we were hanging out…there were vibes that yes he was into me…so maybe he is just shy on the phone and IM???
2. Maybe he had plans to do something else and will now have rescheduled those?
3. Maybe he just couldn’t wait to see me…
4. Maybe an early movie would be cheaper…since he has a low budget?
5. Maybe I am stupid for even putting this much thought into something as small as this.
Ok, here is the other thing…he sort of bought me drinks the other night…but I think that was more because I didn’t have enough money to cover mine…since this place only took cash. Or he saw me reach for my money…so he thought why not just let her pay?
I don’t mind paying my own way…who says that men have to pay for women? The only time that seems nice is when I am poor or it was a shitty time and they deserve to pay me for spending time with them…but I can see a guy who is just making 30K a year not having the budget to pay 2 meals let alone one.
I liked him…enough to let money not be a concern…hell I would even pay a time or two if we traded me this time…you the next.
Just as long as I get to hang out with and spend time together…who cares where we are and what we are doing…but see that’s when I worry about getting into another Anchorman situation…so I don’t want to share these thoughts with him right off that bat. Cause I do want to be appreciated and respected enough to go out from time to time.
And that is another thing… I worry that if he never ever pays my way does that mean that I don’t matter? I wonder about this…not necessarily with just Mr. Match…but with any guy who takes me out…if they don’t pay are they being
• Disrespectful?
• Rude?
• Not interested?
• 2007 guy
• Someone who likes you but just can’t afford to pay?
• What does it all mean? I have asked this a few times…some pay and some don’t…not sure why or when its going to happen and what it means.
Anyway…enough ramblings on this 420… well now 421.
I called and left a message with him…I think I’m scared to be honest cause I kind of like him…or do I like the idea of him? I don’t know…as usual.
I miss my friend Mr. Festive too…as crazy as that may sound…I feel like us kissing the other night ruined what friendship we had…or maybe I’m just super paranoid…cause that is the case sometimes…and I have never been the girl to loose control before…and lately---I am just not sure who I am to be honest with ya.
But Mr. Match did call me back…and we rescheduled for tomorrow night…although he wanted tomorrow afternoon…I am not sure why…he didn’t say…but I cant because I have to work…so tomorrow at 8 it will have to be.
1. Maybe he isn’t all the interested—A matinee is less intimate…or maybe I just don’t know either way…. cause when we were hanging out…there were vibes that yes he was into me…so maybe he is just shy on the phone and IM???
2. Maybe he had plans to do something else and will now have rescheduled those?
3. Maybe he just couldn’t wait to see me…
4. Maybe an early movie would be cheaper…since he has a low budget?
5. Maybe I am stupid for even putting this much thought into something as small as this.
Ok, here is the other thing…he sort of bought me drinks the other night…but I think that was more because I didn’t have enough money to cover mine…since this place only took cash. Or he saw me reach for my money…so he thought why not just let her pay?
I don’t mind paying my own way…who says that men have to pay for women? The only time that seems nice is when I am poor or it was a shitty time and they deserve to pay me for spending time with them…but I can see a guy who is just making 30K a year not having the budget to pay 2 meals let alone one.
I liked him…enough to let money not be a concern…hell I would even pay a time or two if we traded me this time…you the next.
Just as long as I get to hang out with and spend time together…who cares where we are and what we are doing…but see that’s when I worry about getting into another Anchorman situation…so I don’t want to share these thoughts with him right off that bat. Cause I do want to be appreciated and respected enough to go out from time to time.
And that is another thing… I worry that if he never ever pays my way does that mean that I don’t matter? I wonder about this…not necessarily with just Mr. Match…but with any guy who takes me out…if they don’t pay are they being
• Disrespectful?
• Rude?
• Not interested?
• 2007 guy
• Someone who likes you but just can’t afford to pay?
• What does it all mean? I have asked this a few times…some pay and some don’t…not sure why or when its going to happen and what it means.
Anyway…enough ramblings on this 420… well now 421.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Mr Match
I’ve met someone…not sure what to say about him or what to call him…maybe Mr. Match? Mr. Match1? Mr. Matchone? Technically he is the second guy I have dated off of match, but the first guy, Mr. Artsy…he was just kind of feminine…and just wasn’t right.
Last night…we met at the bar down the street from me…he actually called me when he got there…while I was walking there…so I knew he would be waiting for me. I didn’t know what to expect to be honest…I had seen some pictures…but wasn’t sure…the pics were not the best quality.
I walked in and touched his shoulder, saying Mr. Match, and then laughed…and said well I hope its you cause I feel like the biggest dipshit if it wasn’t.
We sat at a booth…me arriving at 7 on the dot…by 8:30…I was a little shocked an hour and a half had gone by…and then another hour and a half the next time I looked. It was a really nice time…we talked so much…and to be honest I don’t know exactly about one thing in particular…just about everything…it was really really nice.
As we were closing the tab…he asked me out for Friday night, which I’m hoping I can make…if I’m not called in that is.
We walked outside…and he said, “Can I get a hug?” so we hugged…it was a first time in awhile where I actually enjoyed it…and kind of didn’t want to let go.
We shall see…I don’t want to jinx it.
Last night…we met at the bar down the street from me…he actually called me when he got there…while I was walking there…so I knew he would be waiting for me. I didn’t know what to expect to be honest…I had seen some pictures…but wasn’t sure…the pics were not the best quality.
I walked in and touched his shoulder, saying Mr. Match, and then laughed…and said well I hope its you cause I feel like the biggest dipshit if it wasn’t.
We sat at a booth…me arriving at 7 on the dot…by 8:30…I was a little shocked an hour and a half had gone by…and then another hour and a half the next time I looked. It was a really nice time…we talked so much…and to be honest I don’t know exactly about one thing in particular…just about everything…it was really really nice.
As we were closing the tab…he asked me out for Friday night, which I’m hoping I can make…if I’m not called in that is.
We walked outside…and he said, “Can I get a hug?” so we hugged…it was a first time in awhile where I actually enjoyed it…and kind of didn’t want to let go.
We shall see…I don’t want to jinx it.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Remembering
Have you ever tried to forget someone and without fail things remind you of him? I have been doing so well and then I have a bad spell and all I want to do is see his smile and his eyes light up at the sight of me…or even just to get his IM or email.
I see road signs with his name…
I meet people with his first name…
I meet people with his last name…
I get mail from someone with his last name...
I remember the smiles...
I see a movie we have seen together...
I cant order pizza from the place we ordered pizza from...
I am just reminded all the time…
I can go days now without thinking about him…but then I have lapses…its weird and I am so F-ING tempted to email him and say never mind everything I have said in the past…but I cant because I will be even worse off then. Anyway…
I see road signs with his name…
I meet people with his first name…
I meet people with his last name…
I get mail from someone with his last name...
I remember the smiles...
I see a movie we have seen together...
I cant order pizza from the place we ordered pizza from...
I am just reminded all the time…
I can go days now without thinking about him…but then I have lapses…its weird and I am so F-ING tempted to email him and say never mind everything I have said in the past…but I cant because I will be even worse off then. Anyway…
Monday, April 9, 2007
The white gloves guy.
Have you ever sat and listened to someone eat? I am not kidding you…this guy that bought me dinner tonight ate sooooo loud, he just was annoying all the way around. We talked on the phone last night and online some yesterday…he kept talking about what kind clothes I would wear on a date and would I wear gloves. He likes women who wears gloves…and says he see’s this more and more. WHAT? I can’t see it…even in a super formal setting it seems rare…or maybe it’s just me,
He seemed nice and honest…I just let myself not think about the clothes things…and then today he kind of annoyed me on the phone when we were going to meet. He had to stay on the phone while he was driving so he wouldn’t get lost…and then we met at a DD parking lot. He is standing out by his car, so I have to stop my car…take out my key and step out into what I hoped would be a great time.
And he looks at me…up and down…my stomach turned over…and not a good flutter…a oh my god am I going to be sick…not a good beginning.
I kept thinking about getting lost on the way to the restaurant…what if I sped up. Since he was already a bit behind me cause he drove so friggin slow. Yea like I said, not to good of a beginning.
We get to the place and I want beer…something to get me through the night. I tell him about something I was super excited about…an offer I received today…and he showed very little interest in me… that was kind of a turn off to be honest. Even with someone I date casually I want him to listen to me. He just was negative and not to into the night…maybe I didn’t hold up to his expectation…who knows… all I know is nope…not again…at least not with him.
But hey, I got a free dinner I guess,
He seemed nice and honest…I just let myself not think about the clothes things…and then today he kind of annoyed me on the phone when we were going to meet. He had to stay on the phone while he was driving so he wouldn’t get lost…and then we met at a DD parking lot. He is standing out by his car, so I have to stop my car…take out my key and step out into what I hoped would be a great time.
And he looks at me…up and down…my stomach turned over…and not a good flutter…a oh my god am I going to be sick…not a good beginning.
I kept thinking about getting lost on the way to the restaurant…what if I sped up. Since he was already a bit behind me cause he drove so friggin slow. Yea like I said, not to good of a beginning.
We get to the place and I want beer…something to get me through the night. I tell him about something I was super excited about…an offer I received today…and he showed very little interest in me… that was kind of a turn off to be honest. Even with someone I date casually I want him to listen to me. He just was negative and not to into the night…maybe I didn’t hold up to his expectation…who knows… all I know is nope…not again…at least not with him.
But hey, I got a free dinner I guess,
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