Need Guidelines

I was talking with a friend yesterday about how I pick guys…and you know…want to know the truth…if they are slightly interesting and give me attention I meet them. Yup that is it…bad I know...But I do say I like to laugh and if they promise to make me laugh…I’m and they are golden.

I decided I do need to be a little more selective…because in the end if I find them interesting I probably will in person too. But in the past I wanted to be intrigued and interested…but the minute they showed an interest in me…I forgot about being interesting in THEM…all I cared about is if they are into ME.

In the beginning it was even worse…like Dr Jekyll…if I met him today…probably wouldn’t be into him…but 9 months ago I was smitten. Why? Cause he showed an interest in me.

I liked The Turkey and The General because they liked me…and were attracted…BUT I was too. And they showed an interest in more then just my looks, we laughed and talked…and had a good time. The General asked tons of questions…showing an interest in what I did.

Not sure what happened with Anchorman…we just hit it off and have fun…from the very beginning…we clicked. BUT, he did show an interest in me…so see that made me like HIM even more.

With Mr. Martini…I didn’t share this in the beginning cause I’m embarrassed that I can ignore something so obvious right from the start. He responded to my ad…. and a few hours went by…I thought I had responded to him…but I guess I didn’t. And I get an email from him saying:

“You SUCK”

Instead…I didn’t go with my gut that I should let him just go and never ever have responded. But nope…I emailed back. And we started talking…him saying “I am a nice guy you know, don’t take the SUCK personally.” See I should have…right from the start. BUT, he was interested in ME…never even seeing a picture of me until the day we met.

Somehow, I need to start getting some guidelines set and be a little more screening before I let myself meet and waste my time with these people. A lot of time its more me. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings…so I give everyone the benefit of the doubt…even when they say, “well I do want a relationship…not just sex.” I don’t know…I am not even sure it is what I am looking…I mean with every date…I know more what I DON’T want. But maybe I don’t know what I do want. I do know I want someone who I can have fun with and laugh with. I started talking to this one guy last night from Match…and you know…we really clicked. He likes a lot of the same things I do. He likes wine tasting and art museums. Art galleries and pubs…I don’t know we just had so much to TALK about…it was kind of fun.

Anyway…I do need to get some guidelines set for myself…I just so afraid of hurting someone…which is ironic because I think I have been hurt more this last year then most people have been there whole lives…SO…I need to STOP worrying about others and start worrying about me…help…