Dear Anchorman...

Its kind of Ironic…3 months to the day that I met Anchorman I broke up with him. Yep, it’s official. I’m sad…not to the point of heart broken…but I am sad for what could have been.

He came over Friday night and spent the night…it was fun as usual. Him talking with little intimacy moments here and there…like when he asks why I moved something…when he is used to it that way. Or when he lied down on bed and he says, me on my side huh. Or as I walked into my room and he left behind one sock and his white t-shirt on the floor. How he missed them, I have no clue. Makes me wonder…did he forget them on purpose or was he in such a rush to leave that he just forgot them…. hmmm yea.

As we were waking up he made some comment about it being ok if I got up…I could go make him breakfast…which was a joke. So I say, “Hahah, but will you go get breakfast with me?” and he says, “OK, but let me rest another few.” So after a bit, I got up and went into the shower.

Then I hear, “Hey, What are you doing?”
“Showering”
“Ohhh, ok…well I’m leaving now.”
“Ok.” Me being not some over pushy female, I let him go. What was I going to do? Yell..."Well I thought you were going to have breakfast with me.” But, nope I just say OK.
He then asks, “Are you going to be around tomorrow?”
I felt like yelling, “Fuck You…I’m not going to be around anymore, I have a life, work, friends, and no more of this bullshit.” But I said, “I don’t know.”

I ended up sending an email instead of talking to him about it face to face. But, since I have no way of getting a hold of him and not in the mood to wait until I hear from him again. Email is the only way to go.

My email went like this:


Hi,

I have been thinking…and I have so much fun with you and want you…a lot…

BUT, I want more…I don’t want marriage or anything really serious…but I want more then just “fun”. I know I said I was ok with nothing serious in the beginning…but I want more now then three months ago…I want movies…and dinner from time to time. I love hanging out at home, but I want more then just that. I want a way to get a hold of each other besides IM and email.

I want someone who wants to go to breakfast the morning after.

So anyway, I don’t know what else to say… cause I don’t think you are all that interested…if you are let me know…if not I guess good luck to you…


That was my email…I’m sad that it is coming to an end…cause I do like him and I do want more with HIM…but I guess it has stopped being fun, and I’m starting to feel bad about myself…especially when I wonder…is it me he doesn’t want to be with? Is he embarrassed of me? The funny thing is I AM embarrassed of me for letting him treat me this way for this long…I write about him on the blog…and its embarrassing at times. Or maybe in the long run its him…and I just needed to end it. I can’t give myself or let myself be totally into anyone else until this is over and finished…