I have been talking to another guy. Yes I know, another one…it never seems to end… but in some ways maybe this is a good thing. Makes me know I still have some hope. Makes me realize I do not care as much for Anchorman as I did at one time. Makes me smile, dumb as it seems. Makes me smile and hope…that someday I will find some guy that can be my best friend as well as my lover.
I have been talking to this one for a few days, talked to him on the phone last night actually. He’s really sweet so far…he called me yesterday just to tell me he liked me and can’t wait to meet me. It was nice to here… but as I’ve learned I’m not getting attached until I know his true intentions. BUT, he does seem sweet and into me…
I wonder though sometimes…when they are too into me in the beginning what someone is really feeling. As I said…what is the real intention here? Is it because I have no confidence in myself and don’t think anyone should be THAT into me…not at first anyway? Or is it all the horror stories of someone being just too nice, and it never is as good as it seems? Or is it because he is desperate for a girl, any girl, who cares if its me ME, just any girl who actually showed an intrest, he would be into. Or maybe, just maybe he is true and I should just be happy that he is into me. Who knows?
We are supposed to be meeting tomorrow night. He has tomorrow off. We might do pizza and beer…that will be nice. He even called tonight…just to make sure we still had plans… a nice surprise. So one of my little things is, I know I know this is bad of me…but I want to date someone who is driven by his career. Maybe its because for the last 20 years, my whole life has been career…career…career. So, it’s hard for me to imagine working at a gas station. Yes…he works for Mobil.
Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with blue-collar jobs, someone has to do it. But, I just want more that’s all. I don’t want to struggle all my life for things I cant have. I want to travel and be able to breath living day to day. All my life I hold my breath and live pay check to pay check…and I don’t want this to be something I live with for the rest of my life. I am so not a materialistic person…I just don’t want to struggle forever. But, Mr. Mobil thinks I’m way out of his league…and it SUCKS…because how can I be so superficial that I wonder, am I?
How can I worry that guys don’t like the look of me when maybe I am doing the same thing? SO I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and trying this…we shall see what happens…. I’ll fill you in after my first date tomorrow night.
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