Monday, January 8, 2007

The Hero Confusion

Life is interesting. And so is The Hero. Yes I am still talking about him…he just never leaves my thought for long. I hate that…about myself and about him. He contacted me today. Did he read my blog? Or was he just missing me? Or is it a combination of both?

I am not sure. And I got tears once again at his little “hi” this morning. I hate that. I hate my emotions that I can’t control when they rise to the surface when I think of him.

He has met someone he says. I knew this. I saw it on his Myspace…I knew that one of those girls and him had been talking…keeping in touch. I took him off my myspace last night, cause I couldn’t help looking at his page, then hers every once in awhile. Its better not to have the temptation, so I just pushed delete. I’m better off not knowing.

And I do have Anchorman, which he has known about since almost the beginning…so does he hate him as much I hate his girl? And I don’t blame, because like I said I have feelings for both…whatever mine are for Anchorman…its something…if not serious.

But, after letting him know my true feelings and me hearing his, we decided to keep talking. I just hope he holds his end of the bargain and keeps in touch. Cause like I’ve said in the past only time will tell. I am in no place to make promises…no idea what tomorrow will bring. But who knows what will happen next.

Now what?

Cause does that mean I just let him have the last word and he won once again? Is that ok? Am I ok? Who knows? I sure as hell don’t. Anyone have advice---you can sure as hell give it, cause I’m as confused now as I’ve ever been.

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