The deal with Anchorman is weird…I feel like we are in college just hanging out. And maybe that’s ok…maybe I needed that at first to get used to some man in my life. In college I had friends who were always there, but never one guy that was in my thoughts day and night, well minus the few crushes I did have from time to time.
We definitely do not have a real “grown up” relationship. He comes over every weekend and we hang out. Watch TV, argue, have fun. Most of the time I’m ok with this. I get giddy when I get an email from him…saying what’s up this weekend…knowing he is still interested.
I have never been to his place…is that because he’s hiding something, or is it simply because he has 4 roommates, and mine is out of town every weekend. I also do not have his phone number…see is that weird? I am not sure. A part of me says, hell yea that’s weird, but then another part thinks back to a time when people only had home phones, and having to get messages from one person let alone 4 guys…I can see him not wanting me to call his home number. He says he has no cell phone… and I guess if money is tight, maybe that’s ok… why do we need one anyway? My cell is my phone period…no land line for me.
I was talking to my therapist about this the other day. I think I’m ok with the way things are…I’m ok until people ask difficult questions that I have no answers to. I mean for right now, its fun…he’s fun. When you think about being in High School or College and think about the relationships of the past…isn’t that kind of what I have with Anchorman right now? I mean at 18, you are most likely not thinking about white pickets fences and mini vans, you were thinking about the next time you saw his hazel eyes scrunch up at you in a smile, or the next time you play footsies under the covers. I never had that…so Anchorman is that for me.
A few weeks ago, I did ask him to hang out at a bar with me, and he says: “come on now, you know that's not my style :-)” ok, I guess I know that right? I have no idea…so instead he came over and we hung out at my place, the same as the last 10 times before. But, he did bring me beer, and we did get nice and tipsy, and we did have fun.
Is this wrong? I don’t think it is…I just worry about what happens when I get bored... or he does. What happens if he ends it before I do? Then what? But I guess me being me, I just need to tell myself daily, don’t worry about tomorrow, just worry about today.
1 comment:
Honestly, I've been thinking about this and it sounds a bit iffy. You guys have been seeing each other for 2 months and you don't have his phone number? And you don't hang out anywhere other than your house? I'd be very wary of a relationship like that. Even when I was dating in high school/college I had the guy's phone number immediately and we'd go out a lot together...*especially* at first. Be careful because this sounds like a way to end up disappointed or hurt. :-(
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