To busy to think

So this weekend I decided if I didn’t hear from Anchorman, I was moving on. Which obviously I was working on doing anyway... with meeting the CrotchRocket on Friday night, and me working over 60 hours in 6 days doing two jobs.

On Saturday night, I decided to join Yahoo Personals for the second time, something to distract me. I started talking to this one guy on IM--super hot---looked similar to Luke Wilson...with blonder hair. HOTTIE... until the first question after the initial introduction was "How big are your boobs?" Or is this deja vu from the night before with The CrotchRocket, because what the hell is going on here...A part of me was tempted...I cant lie about that, I mean he was HOT...but what about after... I would feel like shit and feel like I was used...even though I would have used him just as much I know...So we ended the IMs with, "well we are looking for different things." See there goes my newest theory about CL, that CL=SEX, because this was Yahoo Personals and this guy had an ad which didn’t even talk about sex in the slightest, I mean he works with kids for god sakes...

I am glad I worked so much and had plans with friends in the free time I did have, cause it stopped me from being home, on IM like a loser waiting for either The Hero or Anchorman...just one of them to let me know all is ok. It had been a week from me hearing from The Hero also, so my week was going downhill fast. So the busier I was, the better off I dealt with overthinking about dumb boys.

Sunday night arrived faster then a blink of an eye, and look at that I had an email from.... can u guess which one?

Anchorman had actually emailed...finally...hmm I wonder if he waited around for me this weekend... but I never showed did I... besides the few hours the night before. SO the email reads as follows: "In order for this to work you CAN'T try and make me feel bad when I want to leave. I've even stayed over twice!! But I don't like it when you try and get me to stay." Wow, I had no idea I was doing this, and this is the reason for a no show on Sunday. So, I send an email back explaining myself and said, come and talk to me online when you get a sec. SO no longer then I push send...he appears before my eyes with a little "Hi"

We talked for a little while, me talking about why I found that annoying, and what happened with him... "I freaked, I’m sorry..." that was it. After I stated the fact that he needs to be more open and honest with me... not a week after the fact and being stood up in the process. So we talked it out...and yes he decided to come over to hang out... we worked it all out... and hopefully am moving towards talking about our feelings rather then avoiding the issue all together--which is something I believe he is used to.

I came to work, feeling more confident about life. I hate that about myself though...I hate that a guy can make me feel good or bad... and then I see The Hero...woohoo he’s ok, we are ok. I hate how that too can make or break my day. A guy talking to me over the net, but for some reason when I talk to him I feel better about life...cause he is ok... so I am too.

The Hero and I are supposed to meet when he comes home for leave during the Holidays. I am so hoping this is the case, cause I think him and I could have something real, and its more then a sexual attraction... with him... its something more... but until we meet there is no telling what this emotion is that swirls inside of me when I think of him...