My birthday is coming up...and I was doing great...and felt like normal when a birthday is right around the corner...until last night...and bam it hit me....this is really my last birthday in my 20's. I am trying to talk myself out of feeling old...
I think about where my mom was when she was my age...or my cousin...or some of my friends...and wonder if I am missing out. Missing something...what if I turn my head and miss something to my right?
Last birthday, well tomorrow to the day...I went home from work and went to the movies with one guy and then for drinks with the Turkey. He kissed me and wanted to hang out. I have come a long long ways from one year ago. I was soooo nervous sitting there with him...makes me smile...I couldn't believe he was sitting there with me. I wonder what I would do today? Probably the same thing...but a little less nervous...hopefully.
I have had allot of firsts in this last year...allot of learning and figuring out. I was stumbling like a 16 year old and now Ive hit 21...not 29.
Allot of other things as well...me getting a new job...a friend falling in and out of love...7 engagements...new friends...and old ones I never kept in touch with...all the tears...and smiles...nerves...and confusion. My friends mom passed a year ago tomorrow...which makes me so sad...to think about that...and then to think about My step mom...and what this year has brought to her life. She is doing great right now...with the radiation and chemo...she is almost her self again...minus all the gray hair. BUT will she see me reach 30? God I hope so.SO see...I think about all the negatives and what I don't have in my life...but then I think about her...and my friend who's mom passed...or someone who is 29 who is sick themselves...or who is 29 and trapped in a marriage and a life that cant be turned around.
So...I don't have it to bad...I have lost 30 pounds since moving here...20 since last Dr appointment...I have had all those firsts that last year I was missing out on. I have my friends and family...and my health...which is all much healthier then it was a year ago. So see...maybe what people say about after 30 is right...it will all just fall into place...please tell me its true. Only one more year to go...
Lets see what this next year of mine will bring.
3 comments:
Hope you had a great birthday! I'm glad you were able to spend part of your birthday weekend celebrating with me.
Happy belated birthday! Update, plz!!!
Don't look at getting older as a bad thing - with age comes wisdom. Think who you were at 21 compared to the person that you are now - the things you know and have experienced. Age is just a number and nothing more. Here's to more "experiences" and more "wisdom"! Cheers!
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