I went to Mr Friday's house again tonight to watch a movie... it was nice. Its bad, because I still don't know how I feel about this...him...I just am going along with the motions. At times I really do think I like him... for example I was freaking out that he wasn't going to call the other night... or when I felt a twinge of unease when he mentioned plans with his ex.
But, as he opened the door, I just wondered... do I like you? I guess its that I like him, but then I don't. He doesn't give me goosebumps or flutters. But he does make me smile, I just wish I could laugh more. I am not sure where this is going, cause there are little things I kind of don't like, and some things I can see getting better rather then worse. So, I am still in unknown land...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Take it or leave it.
"Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries. "
OK, so I guess my thinking tonight is if my posts really makes you want to put a bullet through YOUR head...then please do not read this. Sorry, maybe people think I am dumb, BUT I have never said I was going to be perfect here... for me this was the one place where I was finally myself... and you know what? I am sooo critical of myself...the way I look, my weight, my humor and personality, choices and jobs, that this was a place I could go and just write... it is a blog... meant for me to take out my frustrations... meant to be a diary of my dating experiences... if you don't like that I make mistakes and am not perfect like some people, then as I said just don't read it and go somewhere else for your entertainment, because I am tired of the critical comments...about a BLOG!
If you are taking time to read it great... but this is for me... I write most of these entries at 11 at night, trying to flush out frustrations before closing my eyes and seeing it over and over in my head... therefore if I start making this blog be to much work, I am not going to write... I don't have the time to add that into my day... therefore, I am not going to over analyze everything... if you do not like it, then go read someone who is perfect... or better yet go read someone who does this for a living and has multiple people working and proofing entries. This is me... this is my blog...take it or leave it.
OK, so I guess my thinking tonight is if my posts really makes you want to put a bullet through YOUR head...then please do not read this. Sorry, maybe people think I am dumb, BUT I have never said I was going to be perfect here... for me this was the one place where I was finally myself... and you know what? I am sooo critical of myself...the way I look, my weight, my humor and personality, choices and jobs, that this was a place I could go and just write... it is a blog... meant for me to take out my frustrations... meant to be a diary of my dating experiences... if you don't like that I make mistakes and am not perfect like some people, then as I said just don't read it and go somewhere else for your entertainment, because I am tired of the critical comments...about a BLOG!
If you are taking time to read it great... but this is for me... I write most of these entries at 11 at night, trying to flush out frustrations before closing my eyes and seeing it over and over in my head... therefore if I start making this blog be to much work, I am not going to write... I don't have the time to add that into my day... therefore, I am not going to over analyze everything... if you do not like it, then go read someone who is perfect... or better yet go read someone who does this for a living and has multiple people working and proofing entries. This is me... this is my blog...take it or leave it.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday stalker!
Last Friday night I went to dinner with friends I hadn't seen in 8 years! It was so nice to see them, and connect with someone from my past...to connect with someone you just know had a similar backgrounds growing up. As I was following them to there place after dinner, I thought about texting Mr Friday that I was in his neighborhood...since we were hanging out the following night instead, I knew he had plans with his new roommate.... I asked him actually...since he said he was busy and broke, I thought a low key night was in order. SO I emailed and asked...he said sure, lets do Saturday night.
So...as I was driving to my friends, I drove by someone walking to his car, as I glanced through my window, I saw him...it was Mr. Friday! I started to laugh, and yea my heart did race some...just from the shock...so I decided to call...and even though he was with his roommate and obviously busy, he still answered..."Hey, what's up?" Me, "not much, did you just walk outside?" haha so yea it was him...the stalker that I am!
So, that was a small world moment, him saying, "Well now you know where I live tomorrow night if you come by to watch the movie."
SO, Saturday came...and so did the night. I picked up pizza on my way...and we watched a movie... he was nice... and sweet as usual... it was super comfortable, and I could have just stayed...maybe it was the beer and the good company.
I will be honest and say I am still not so sure yet. I def am liking him...and when I think about him he does put a smile on my face...but at times I think...what am I feeling really? Comfort or attraction? Is it like because he obviously is interested and maybe I like the attention and that for once someone is into ME!
I know I enjoy his company...and maybe his kiss did have a little bit more heat this time, but...I guess I will see as time goes on. Maybe I am waiting for the donkey or pig I usually date...that I am just not used to it...its confusing cause I am usually more worried how they are feeling rather then analyzing my own feelings. My own feelings have been second for so long, that sometimes I don't know how to think for me.
Its not just in guys, its my whole life. I worry about everyone, from roommates and family to coworkers and friends...what they think matters to me. I would rather someone be happy...as long as that is the case then I am at ease. Am I happy?? Hmmm...I don't know...I am just more at ease...until someone frowns that is.
I have been really working on trying not to be this way anymore. I have been making an effort to live my life rather then someone else's. Because as we all know its "MY LIFE" no one else's...for me that is. SO, if this is the case...maybe I am just scared and don't know how to feel this way...feel this "MY LIFE" thing that everyone else knows about.
OR...is it him and maybe we just don't click...or do we?
So...as I was driving to my friends, I drove by someone walking to his car, as I glanced through my window, I saw him...it was Mr. Friday! I started to laugh, and yea my heart did race some...just from the shock...so I decided to call...and even though he was with his roommate and obviously busy, he still answered..."Hey, what's up?" Me, "not much, did you just walk outside?" haha so yea it was him...the stalker that I am!
So, that was a small world moment, him saying, "Well now you know where I live tomorrow night if you come by to watch the movie."
SO, Saturday came...and so did the night. I picked up pizza on my way...and we watched a movie... he was nice... and sweet as usual... it was super comfortable, and I could have just stayed...maybe it was the beer and the good company.
I will be honest and say I am still not so sure yet. I def am liking him...and when I think about him he does put a smile on my face...but at times I think...what am I feeling really? Comfort or attraction? Is it like because he obviously is interested and maybe I like the attention and that for once someone is into ME!
I know I enjoy his company...and maybe his kiss did have a little bit more heat this time, but...I guess I will see as time goes on. Maybe I am waiting for the donkey or pig I usually date...that I am just not used to it...its confusing cause I am usually more worried how they are feeling rather then analyzing my own feelings. My own feelings have been second for so long, that sometimes I don't know how to think for me.
Its not just in guys, its my whole life. I worry about everyone, from roommates and family to coworkers and friends...what they think matters to me. I would rather someone be happy...as long as that is the case then I am at ease. Am I happy?? Hmmm...I don't know...I am just more at ease...until someone frowns that is.
I have been really working on trying not to be this way anymore. I have been making an effort to live my life rather then someone else's. Because as we all know its "MY LIFE" no one else's...for me that is. SO, if this is the case...maybe I am just scared and don't know how to feel this way...feel this "MY LIFE" thing that everyone else knows about.
OR...is it him and maybe we just don't click...or do we?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Another friday!
I had my second date with Mr Friday. He was still nice and sweet...I did find it odd that he kissed me as soon as I got into the car...not like "wowo baby you light my fire"...a more like..."hi sweety, how are you?" Just strange for the second date I guess...but sweet I suppose.
We had another great night. He is super sweet and doesn't worry about ordering and then paying...he just is nice. We went for dinner and to a movie to see "Batman" which was awesome by the way! Heath was an amazing actor! OK, back to the date, after about an hour he held my hand and put his hand on my thigh...it was nice.
We drove back to my place, he picked me up and drove me home...like a real date...so as he was driving down my street, I was obsessing "do I let him in?" or "do I not?" when he pulled up to my driveway...and saying "Well I had another great night." We kissed a few kisses and then I said goodnight. I get paranoid after the last few years when a guy doesn't do more I guess. I just expected him to say, no one more...or something like that...does that mean he is just an actual nice guy who is going slow...or is he just not that into it...its so hard to tell at first...which maybe is a good thing rather then a bad.
I have a hard time though...telling if I am really and truly attracted...I mean sure when we held hands it was nice, but when we kiss it isn't stars and passions...but will it come in time...maybe we are both nervous and careful and aren't putting out hearts out there...but what is it really? OK this is me going on a tangent here...so stop reading if you have to...but...
What if, because I like him and we have fun...laugh and have similar interests....OK so now WHAT if I settle for this and go slow for the time being...just have fun and what not...and settle for non passion...settle for comfort first. I know there will be a third date...and prolly a fourth...so I get nervous thinking about that time...because then it means we will have sex...and then we are exclusive...then months have gone by...lives are being mingled... Then I stop and think did I really want all of this I am turning 50 and living with some man that I don't have sex with...but who I know I am OK with.
Is that an OK thing? What if I am so DESPERATE...that I settle...and stop looking for "the one"...BUT who says he ISN'T number one? What says it has to be one way or the other...right? I just get nervous and stress about these kinds of things...just the not knowing. I want there to be some kind of sign that says this is him...this is the feeling you get...this is an emotion that makes ur heart race and palms sweat and you have met the one who you want to jump at every moment. BUT see that's me looking for perfection. What is real? How does someone know that this is it...
Anyway...I think I am done rambling for one night, and go to bed. I know only time will tell with Mr Friday, and its a great thing that he is moving slowly...cause I need time to figure out what I want...without letting the physical get in the way.
We had another great night. He is super sweet and doesn't worry about ordering and then paying...he just is nice. We went for dinner and to a movie to see "Batman" which was awesome by the way! Heath was an amazing actor! OK, back to the date, after about an hour he held my hand and put his hand on my thigh...it was nice.
We drove back to my place, he picked me up and drove me home...like a real date...so as he was driving down my street, I was obsessing "do I let him in?" or "do I not?" when he pulled up to my driveway...and saying "Well I had another great night." We kissed a few kisses and then I said goodnight. I get paranoid after the last few years when a guy doesn't do more I guess. I just expected him to say, no one more...or something like that...does that mean he is just an actual nice guy who is going slow...or is he just not that into it...its so hard to tell at first...which maybe is a good thing rather then a bad.
I have a hard time though...telling if I am really and truly attracted...I mean sure when we held hands it was nice, but when we kiss it isn't stars and passions...but will it come in time...maybe we are both nervous and careful and aren't putting out hearts out there...but what is it really? OK this is me going on a tangent here...so stop reading if you have to...but...
What if, because I like him and we have fun...laugh and have similar interests....OK so now WHAT if I settle for this and go slow for the time being...just have fun and what not...and settle for non passion...settle for comfort first. I know there will be a third date...and prolly a fourth...so I get nervous thinking about that time...because then it means we will have sex...and then we are exclusive...then months have gone by...lives are being mingled... Then I stop and think did I really want all of this I am turning 50 and living with some man that I don't have sex with...but who I know I am OK with.
Is that an OK thing? What if I am so DESPERATE...that I settle...and stop looking for "the one"...BUT who says he ISN'T number one? What says it has to be one way or the other...right? I just get nervous and stress about these kinds of things...just the not knowing. I want there to be some kind of sign that says this is him...this is the feeling you get...this is an emotion that makes ur heart race and palms sweat and you have met the one who you want to jump at every moment. BUT see that's me looking for perfection. What is real? How does someone know that this is it...
Anyway...I think I am done rambling for one night, and go to bed. I know only time will tell with Mr Friday, and its a great thing that he is moving slowly...cause I need time to figure out what I want...without letting the physical get in the way.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Im going to go with the flow.
I had a date Friday night. It was nice...better then I expected. He seems to be really nice and genuine. I am def not sure where its headed...I do know he kissed me goodnight and contacted me the next morning. He was interested...and I think I am too.
It was nice that he paid for dinner, not making me feel bad for it. He held doors open for me...and I think he was more nervous then I was...since he was wearing a long sleeve shirt in 80 degree weather. We connected during dinner, and I decided to invite him to watch a friends band...I bought his cover and he bought me drinks. He was sweet and liked the bands...was or seemed excited about them and finding new bands to follow. He didn't attack me for sex, he didn't even hold my hand which I'll be honest and say I kind of don't like it...maybe later on I will...but during a first date its awkward. He did have his arm around my shoulder on the T ride and did give me a hug and kiss goodnight.
So we are suppose to plan something soon, he called me tonight. As I said he was nice...I just need to learn to STOP thinking ahead, and stop freaking and thinking and over analysing. I need to just enjoy the here and the now and stop wondering what people are thinking and wondering, stop thinking about what he is thinking and wondering...stop worrying about if I am into him or just lonely. And just go with the flow.
It was nice that he paid for dinner, not making me feel bad for it. He held doors open for me...and I think he was more nervous then I was...since he was wearing a long sleeve shirt in 80 degree weather. We connected during dinner, and I decided to invite him to watch a friends band...I bought his cover and he bought me drinks. He was sweet and liked the bands...was or seemed excited about them and finding new bands to follow. He didn't attack me for sex, he didn't even hold my hand which I'll be honest and say I kind of don't like it...maybe later on I will...but during a first date its awkward. He did have his arm around my shoulder on the T ride and did give me a hug and kiss goodnight.
So we are suppose to plan something soon, he called me tonight. As I said he was nice...I just need to learn to STOP thinking ahead, and stop freaking and thinking and over analysing. I need to just enjoy the here and the now and stop wondering what people are thinking and wondering, stop thinking about what he is thinking and wondering...stop worrying about if I am into him or just lonely. And just go with the flow.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Another ad...why not?
I want to start hiking, camping, and biking, more activities like this...I have been busy with the career and now I just want to have a life too...I woke up the other day and realized all my friends are couples and I am turning 30 in 6 weeks! Yikes! I want to do things I haven't done! I want a person who will do the things I want to do or try...and I would love for someone who can make me laugh everyday no matter what.
I am not super thin, not huge either, but I am honest...am around a size 14...but have been losing weight...hence my new interest in trying new things...
Well...maybe I will hear from someone normal who wants to meet rather then email and IM for weeks...and please be near my age and single...hope to hear from you...
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Who is the question of the night!
So...I got back from Jamaica last sunday and have been feeling thinner! I had pictures taken of me and felt that a lot of them made me look thinner then I had in the past. I got hit on the minute I stepped off the bus...sure it was a Jamaican guy, but hey why not...he was a cutie in his native way.
So...I was feeling more confident in the way I look...so I decided to try dating again... also it doesnt help that I am bored... and just would like to find someone to make me laugh.
So I decided Crazy Blind Date was the way to go...then I get a text saying that this guy I was suppose to meet doesnt except text messages...which totally threw me. How was I suppose to know who the guy is...all I have on him is a name...and I wasnt about to walk up to any one standing alone and say, "Are you Ken?"
Anyway, I sat at the bar and had a beer...talked to my married very cute neighbor. I did see one guy walking around...he even looked at me and didnt say anything to me. Was he Ken? But...since neither of us had the balls to say "Are you...?" I decided though...if this guy was make my heart tremor hot...then maybe I could have something...but I just wasnt all into him...and maybe if he was Ken, he wasnt into me anymore then I was into him...other wise maybe he would have said "Are you Katie?"
So I got home, talked to a friend about hitting a movie, and went online...and decided in my hours before walking out the door, that maybe after all this time, I would check out my old stomping ground of CL> and responded to a guys ad...
"+++++ Sick of one sided conversations+++++++++++ - 32 (Waltham/Newton)
The topic says it all.. Sure I date but it always seems to be a one sided conversation. I am 32 single, handsome and looking for the right lady to engage in a REAL conversation and have a winning personality such as mine. IF you think you can fit is description send a pic to get mine and we will go from there."
We talked on email...him responding to my pic...and went on IM...which is faster then email.
7:40:04 PM Me: hi
7:40:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hey
7:40:23 PM Me: thought this might be easier
7:40:24 PM Me: ha
7:40:29 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:40:57 PM Me: so what do u do?
7:41:02 PM Mr Bullz Eye: finance
7:41:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you
7:41:19 PM Me: design
7:41:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: < -- equity trader
7:41:46 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you have a degree
7:41:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:41:50 PM Me: two
7:41:51 PM Me: ha
7:41:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: same 2
7:42:00 PM Mr Bullz Eye: where yo go
7:42:24 PM Me: school in albany ny and then grad in atlanta ga
7:42:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya my sister goes to albany college of pharm
7:42:55 PM Me: oh yea that was close to where i went
7:42:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 4th year
7:43:03 PM Me: i went to the college of st rose
7:43:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i went to oswego
7:43:24 PM Mr Bullz Eye: st rose.. my 2 aunts got here master there in music they teach good school
7:43:34 PM Me: nice
7:43:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:43:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: beans
7:43:41 PM Me: no one knows the school usually
7:43:42 PM Me: ha
7:43:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya unless you know albany
7:44:00 PM Me: where did u grow up?
7:44:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 1 hour west of albany
7:44:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: Gloversville
7:44:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: then work and live in saratoga for 4 year
7:44:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: (s)
7:44:44 PM Me: nice
7:44:50 PM Me: i like saratoga
7:44:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: fun place
7:44:58 PM Me: i grew up in vermont
7:45:03 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i snow board
7:45:05 PM Mr Bullz Eye: killington
7:45:13 PM Me: i grew up near there
7:45:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:21 PM Me: near rutland
7:45:27 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:27 PM Me: closer to NY though
7:46:10 PM Me: so no parties tonight ...lol
7:46:17 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol.. no you?
7:46:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how old are you?
7:46:27 PM Me: im off to the movies in a bit
7:46:29 PM Me: im 29
7:46:32 PM Mr Bullz Eye: k 31
7:46:40 PM Me: going to be 30 :( in a few weeks
7:46:42 PM Me: ha
7:46:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: kool
7:46:50 PM Me: no offence to the 31 yr old
7:46:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: easy killer
7:47:02 PM Me: haha
7:47:13 PM Me: i was just saying in response to my :(
7:47:22 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i know its all good
7:49:23 PM Me: u go out last night?
7:49:30 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i didnt
7:49:39 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but thursday i did
7:49:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hardcore :D
7:49:58 PM Me: lol
7:50:03 PM Me: still recovering?
7:50:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: actually trying to-unrecover!
7:51:25 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:51:31 PM Me: ?
7:51:33 PM Me: lol
7:51:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:52:30 PM Me: so u live in waltham?
7:52:44 PM Mr Bullz Eye: yes
7:52:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you?
7:52:52 PM Me: newotn
7:52:55 PM Me: newton
7:53:01 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what ever they call hit
7:53:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:53:08 PM Me: :)
7:54:44 PM Me: so we should meet up sometime or something, i find meeting better then emailing and Iming
7:55:12 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what are you looking for
7:55:21 PM Me: i dont know
7:55:30 PM Me: no expectations
7:55:38 PM Me: what r u looking for?
7:55:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: expectations
7:55:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:55:52 PM Mr Bullz Eye: no-expectations
7:56:02 PM Me: wait what
7:56:04 PM Me: lol
7:56:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im looking for whatever
7:56:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i guess
7:56:26 PM Me: at the moment i kind of want to have fun...sure I want to marriage and stuff...but you cant rush into it
7:56:40 PM Me: so i just want to have fun until its not anymore
7:56:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i love it
7:57:05 PM Me: if that makes sense
7:57:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: it does
7:57:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: are you just looking to "hook up"
7:57:42 PM Me: no
7:59:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye:well i am not looking for a one time deal i am looking for a several time deal
7:59:18 PM Me: me too!
7:59:20 PM Me: hah
7:59:34 PM Me: i dont know what i want
7:59:46 PM Me: i just want more then a FWB thing
7:59:57 PM Me: and more then a hookup
8:00:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: sounds good
8:00:24 PM Me: have u met people online before?
8:00:27 PM Me: i used to
8:00:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: your the 2nd
8:00:52 PM Me: havent in a while cause i got bored with it...but then i got bored and responded to ur ad
8:00:52 PM Me: ha
8:01:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool-beans
8:01:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i dont know
8:01:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i am just bord here in waltham
8:01:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass to be more narrow
8:02:07 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i have not met any people here and my sex life has been on ice.
8:02:19 PM Me: lol
8:02:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass girls just bor me
8:02:31 PM Mr Bullz Eye: and i just dont "hook up to have sex
8:02:44 PM Me: thats a good thing
8:02:50 PM Me: not a bad thing
8:02:56 PM Mr Bullz Eye: well it is what it is
8:03:17 PM Me: ha...i hate hooking up to be honest...as for bored...i know the feeling
8:03:34 PM Me: i havent met anyone in a long time who is fun and can make me laugh
8:03:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but i dont want to jump into this huge relationship.. i dont mind having drinks or dinner but I just dont know what i am looking for.. what happens happens is good for me though
8:03:59 PM Me: i agree on the what happens happens
8:04:23 PM Me: thats why i like meeting quicker rather then emailing and iming
8:04:37 PM Me: cause u know after meeting if you want to hang out again or not
8:04:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: totally.
8:05:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya thats fine.
8:05:34 PM Me: lol
8:05:45 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how tall are you
8:06:00 PM Me: 5'3"
8:06:03 PM Me: u?
8:06:09 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 5/7
8:06:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: weight?
8:07:00 PM Me: i dont know weight...i know clothes size, i dont go by weight, sorry
8:07:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol, ok what size are you
8:07:37 PM Me: 14, I've been loosing weight so it varies
8:08:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
8:08:33 PM Mr Bullz Eye: thats a little to heavy for me
8:08:40 PM Me: ok
8:08:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im sorry but your cute though
Changed status to Offline (8:08:56 PM)
Ok...Soooo...me and my confidence get shit on...I am going to go to a movie and take a deep breath...and just think...F-him...but...
maybe he is right?
Or if he isnt who is?
So...I was feeling more confident in the way I look...so I decided to try dating again... also it doesnt help that I am bored... and just would like to find someone to make me laugh.
So I decided Crazy Blind Date was the way to go...then I get a text saying that this guy I was suppose to meet doesnt except text messages...which totally threw me. How was I suppose to know who the guy is...all I have on him is a name...and I wasnt about to walk up to any one standing alone and say, "Are you Ken?"
Anyway, I sat at the bar and had a beer...talked to my married very cute neighbor. I did see one guy walking around...he even looked at me and didnt say anything to me. Was he Ken? But...since neither of us had the balls to say "Are you...?" I decided though...if this guy was make my heart tremor hot...then maybe I could have something...but I just wasnt all into him...and maybe if he was Ken, he wasnt into me anymore then I was into him...other wise maybe he would have said "Are you Katie?"
So I got home, talked to a friend about hitting a movie, and went online...and decided in my hours before walking out the door, that maybe after all this time, I would check out my old stomping ground of CL> and responded to a guys ad...
"+++++ Sick of one sided conversations+++++++++++ - 32 (Waltham/Newton)
The topic says it all.. Sure I date but it always seems to be a one sided conversation. I am 32 single, handsome and looking for the right lady to engage in a REAL conversation and have a winning personality such as mine. IF you think you can fit is description send a pic to get mine and we will go from there."
We talked on email...him responding to my pic...and went on IM...which is faster then email.
7:40:04 PM Me: hi
7:40:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hey
7:40:23 PM Me: thought this might be easier
7:40:24 PM Me: ha
7:40:29 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:40:57 PM Me: so what do u do?
7:41:02 PM Mr Bullz Eye: finance
7:41:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you
7:41:19 PM Me: design
7:41:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: < -- equity trader
7:41:46 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you have a degree
7:41:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:41:50 PM Me: two
7:41:51 PM Me: ha
7:41:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: same 2
7:42:00 PM Mr Bullz Eye: where yo go
7:42:24 PM Me: school in albany ny and then grad in atlanta ga
7:42:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya my sister goes to albany college of pharm
7:42:55 PM Me: oh yea that was close to where i went
7:42:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 4th year
7:43:03 PM Me: i went to the college of st rose
7:43:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i went to oswego
7:43:24 PM Mr Bullz Eye: st rose.. my 2 aunts got here master there in music they teach good school
7:43:34 PM Me: nice
7:43:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:43:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: beans
7:43:41 PM Me: no one knows the school usually
7:43:42 PM Me: ha
7:43:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya unless you know albany
7:44:00 PM Me: where did u grow up?
7:44:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 1 hour west of albany
7:44:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: Gloversville
7:44:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: then work and live in saratoga for 4 year
7:44:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: (s)
7:44:44 PM Me: nice
7:44:50 PM Me: i like saratoga
7:44:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: fun place
7:44:58 PM Me: i grew up in vermont
7:45:03 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i snow board
7:45:05 PM Mr Bullz Eye: killington
7:45:13 PM Me: i grew up near there
7:45:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:21 PM Me: near rutland
7:45:27 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:27 PM Me: closer to NY though
7:46:10 PM Me: so no parties tonight ...lol
7:46:17 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol.. no you?
7:46:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how old are you?
7:46:27 PM Me: im off to the movies in a bit
7:46:29 PM Me: im 29
7:46:32 PM Mr Bullz Eye: k 31
7:46:40 PM Me: going to be 30 :( in a few weeks
7:46:42 PM Me: ha
7:46:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: kool
7:46:50 PM Me: no offence to the 31 yr old
7:46:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: easy killer
7:47:02 PM Me: haha
7:47:13 PM Me: i was just saying in response to my :(
7:47:22 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i know its all good
7:49:23 PM Me: u go out last night?
7:49:30 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i didnt
7:49:39 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but thursday i did
7:49:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hardcore :D
7:49:58 PM Me: lol
7:50:03 PM Me: still recovering?
7:50:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: actually trying to-unrecover!
7:51:25 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:51:31 PM Me: ?
7:51:33 PM Me: lol
7:51:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:52:30 PM Me: so u live in waltham?
7:52:44 PM Mr Bullz Eye: yes
7:52:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you?
7:52:52 PM Me: newotn
7:52:55 PM Me: newton
7:53:01 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what ever they call hit
7:53:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:53:08 PM Me: :)
7:54:44 PM Me: so we should meet up sometime or something, i find meeting better then emailing and Iming
7:55:12 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what are you looking for
7:55:21 PM Me: i dont know
7:55:30 PM Me: no expectations
7:55:38 PM Me: what r u looking for?
7:55:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: expectations
7:55:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:55:52 PM Mr Bullz Eye: no-expectations
7:56:02 PM Me: wait what
7:56:04 PM Me: lol
7:56:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im looking for whatever
7:56:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i guess
7:56:26 PM Me: at the moment i kind of want to have fun...sure I want to marriage and stuff...but you cant rush into it
7:56:40 PM Me: so i just want to have fun until its not anymore
7:56:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i love it
7:57:05 PM Me: if that makes sense
7:57:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: it does
7:57:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: are you just looking to "hook up"
7:57:42 PM Me: no
7:59:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye:well i am not looking for a one time deal i am looking for a several time deal
7:59:18 PM Me: me too!
7:59:20 PM Me: hah
7:59:34 PM Me: i dont know what i want
7:59:46 PM Me: i just want more then a FWB thing
7:59:57 PM Me: and more then a hookup
8:00:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: sounds good
8:00:24 PM Me: have u met people online before?
8:00:27 PM Me: i used to
8:00:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: your the 2nd
8:00:52 PM Me: havent in a while cause i got bored with it...but then i got bored and responded to ur ad
8:00:52 PM Me: ha
8:01:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool-beans
8:01:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i dont know
8:01:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i am just bord here in waltham
8:01:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass to be more narrow
8:02:07 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i have not met any people here and my sex life has been on ice.
8:02:19 PM Me: lol
8:02:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass girls just bor me
8:02:31 PM Mr Bullz Eye: and i just dont "hook up to have sex
8:02:44 PM Me: thats a good thing
8:02:50 PM Me: not a bad thing
8:02:56 PM Mr Bullz Eye: well it is what it is
8:03:17 PM Me: ha...i hate hooking up to be honest...as for bored...i know the feeling
8:03:34 PM Me: i havent met anyone in a long time who is fun and can make me laugh
8:03:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but i dont want to jump into this huge relationship.. i dont mind having drinks or dinner but I just dont know what i am looking for.. what happens happens is good for me though
8:03:59 PM Me: i agree on the what happens happens
8:04:23 PM Me: thats why i like meeting quicker rather then emailing and iming
8:04:37 PM Me: cause u know after meeting if you want to hang out again or not
8:04:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: totally.
8:05:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya thats fine.
8:05:34 PM Me: lol
8:05:45 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how tall are you
8:06:00 PM Me: 5'3"
8:06:03 PM Me: u?
8:06:09 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 5/7
8:06:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: weight?
8:07:00 PM Me: i dont know weight...i know clothes size, i dont go by weight, sorry
8:07:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol, ok what size are you
8:07:37 PM Me: 14, I've been loosing weight so it varies
8:08:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
8:08:33 PM Mr Bullz Eye: thats a little to heavy for me
8:08:40 PM Me: ok
8:08:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im sorry but your cute though
Changed status to Offline (8:08:56 PM)
Ok...Soooo...me and my confidence get shit on...I am going to go to a movie and take a deep breath...and just think...F-him...but...
maybe he is right?
Or if he isnt who is?
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