I had my second date with Mr Friday. He was still nice and sweet...I did find it odd that he kissed me as soon as I got into the car...not like "wowo baby you light my fire"...a more like..."hi sweety, how are you?" Just strange for the second date I guess...but sweet I suppose.
We had another great night. He is super sweet and doesn't worry about ordering and then paying...he just is nice. We went for dinner and to a movie to see "Batman" which was awesome by the way! Heath was an amazing actor! OK, back to the date, after about an hour he held my hand and put his hand on my thigh...it was nice.
We drove back to my place, he picked me up and drove me home...like a real date...so as he was driving down my street, I was obsessing "do I let him in?" or "do I not?" when he pulled up to my driveway...and saying "Well I had another great night." We kissed a few kisses and then I said goodnight. I get paranoid after the last few years when a guy doesn't do more I guess. I just expected him to say, no one more...or something like that...does that mean he is just an actual nice guy who is going slow...or is he just not that into it...its so hard to tell at first...which maybe is a good thing rather then a bad.
I have a hard time though...telling if I am really and truly attracted...I mean sure when we held hands it was nice, but when we kiss it isn't stars and passions...but will it come in time...maybe we are both nervous and careful and aren't putting out hearts out there...but what is it really? OK this is me going on a tangent here...so stop reading if you have to...but...
What if, because I like him and we have fun...laugh and have similar interests....OK so now WHAT if I settle for this and go slow for the time being...just have fun and what not...and settle for non passion...settle for comfort first. I know there will be a third date...and prolly a fourth...so I get nervous thinking about that time...because then it means we will have sex...and then we are exclusive...then months have gone by...lives are being mingled... Then I stop and think did I really want all of this I am turning 50 and living with some man that I don't have sex with...but who I know I am OK with.
Is that an OK thing? What if I am so DESPERATE...that I settle...and stop looking for "the one"...BUT who says he ISN'T number one? What says it has to be one way or the other...right? I just get nervous and stress about these kinds of things...just the not knowing. I want there to be some kind of sign that says this is him...this is the feeling you get...this is an emotion that makes ur heart race and palms sweat and you have met the one who you want to jump at every moment. BUT see that's me looking for perfection. What is real? How does someone know that this is it...
Anyway...I think I am done rambling for one night, and go to bed. I know only time will tell with Mr Friday, and its a great thing that he is moving slowly...cause I need time to figure out what I want...without letting the physical get in the way.
5 comments:
Your feelings match my feelings at this point of time. I am also talking to this guy and its nice and everything but both know that we do not have that mad crazy passion for each other. We did meet and spend a great couple of days together and a nice kisser and all...But just cant keep away from each other. We need to touchbase once in few days, and we talk for hours...argggggggggg!!!..me going nuts!!!...so you are not alone!
Anitha from India.
Whoa, talk about over-analyzing.
From your blog posts he sounds absolutely darling. Any upcoming dates with him?
Why think so much about it? You said he's sweet and nice and you had a nice time. Just enjoy the moment. You don't need to start thinking about 20+ years down the road. Just go out and enjoy his company and learn more about him. Yes, to feel butterflies is great but those feelings can fade. Physical and emotional attraction can increase the more you get to know someone.
Honestly, I don't remember having butterflies with Matt. Instead, things just felt RIGHT...like "OK, I am with Matt, it's wonderful, and this is how my life is supposed to me."
Your posts paint a really nice picture of him. He sounds sweet and like a real gentleman. That's what you deserve for once.
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