Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Deja Vu

I had the date...we ended up changing plans...but he picked me up at work...and we drove a bit...stopped for food...even at a place that brought Anchorman memories...we tried to see a movie but all were to late...so we decided to go to another. I actually did offer my house to watch a movie...knowing he had drove a bit already...but he said no...the plan was to see a movie. So me being me...I am hoping to god it was a good thing he said that...that he is a real guy...a gentleman who did just want to see a movie...and not because he didn't want to be in my apartment.

We saw a movie...and wanted to touch his hand the whole night but I am wimp and don't know how to make the first move...

Then came when he dropped me off at home...we sat in the car...it was awkward...and I laughed cause I was nervous. Why cant I be this great person who doesn't freak over a first kiss? Why cant it be natural? Instead...I freak...we drove around a bit more after a hug and an awkward silence...maybe he didn't want to say goodnight after all...we then reworked our way to exactly the same spot...dejavu. I was nervous still and laughed again. I was honest with him though...and its odd cause I do feel like myself when I am with him. I am very comfortable and have even told him things that i usually don't tell someone I have known for such a small amount of time...for example me telling him on the spin around the block that I wanted to make the first move and was/am to nervous to do it. I just said it...I said I am not sure it will reciprocated...and he didn't know what to say...which means its a good thing or a bad one...and I didn't know how else to describe it.

As I said...when we arrived back to the same spot...he finally kissed me...it was nice...awkward because I was so nervous...was he? But it was nice...just different. I laughed again and got the...why laugh? I am nervous...as I grabbed his hand...why nervous he says? I don't know I just am...finally I stepped out of the car...I was excited but also scared...

I walked into my place worrying I scared him off...when I went on the date with the turkey...I did the same thing...and he freaked about that and broke it off the next day...

We just talked...only 30 min after...and I said I was sorry that I get nervous and that I had fun. He said everything is OK twice...and said I had fun tonight too...did he? Did he really? I am just nervous...and yes scared...I guess I am just never sure how to act. How to be excited rather then scared...maybe it is just all rolled up into one big ball...but its there and its real...

I guess only time will tel...will we or wont we have a third? I want to hope and say sure there will be...he wouldn't have kissed me and said he had fun and that everything is OK if he wasn't interested...but then what if he comes to his senses and wonders...what is this girl?? I am cant deal...or something or other...

We shall see...we shall see.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

He was probably being a gentleman. Inviting a guy to your house to watch a movie on a first-second date can sound like an invitation to fool around. So hooray for a gentleman.

Anonymous said...

Why did you delete your most recent post? I read it earlier and planned to come back later to comment it but now it is gone. Have a glass of wine and relax, lady! I bet things with Mr. Bebe will be fine. He probably thought the laughter was cute.