Its 2009! It has been a rough holiday for me emotionally… I have never been bothered much about the Holidays… but this year… every kiss and smile I saw made me more sad then happy. I am happy because everyone around me is that way… just maybe a little envious and a little jealous. It feels like everyone around me is getting engaged, married, or having baby’s…. which is great! Just makes me wonder what will happen if I never get the chance?
I have been thinking a lot lately about moving back to Vermont… I am home sick… wanting the slower pace of life. But I spent the last 10 days… and I worry that I will move home and wake up at 50 with a 75 year old mom, 3 cats and two dogs. I just worry that I wont do more… I have done the career route… and now I am ready for the motherhood and marriage. I feel like Rachel from Friends when she turned 30 or 35… she had a list of when she would be married and have kids… and I have had that as every girl I know has… but mine changes every year… as I get way past the age of no return!
I am not making any decisions… just think about moving home and how that would be… realistically this time… go with my brain and heart rather then on an angry whim.
So… I am just being me… and my 5 resolutions this year are:
1. Be happy!
2. Smile everyday
3. Gym 2-4 times a week
4. Keep losing weight
5. Enjoy being single… learn to live life with no regrets.
