Back on...

Well I am back...ha...been a long month...

I am seeing Mr BeBe again...

We have been talking...we never ended really...so one night I asked: so why did u say u didn't want to see me anymore because u couldn't have any relationship? we only saw each other twice....did i give the impression i wanted really serious?

With him responding: hmm,when we met my personal life got ruff. I just had a lot of stuff going on. I was honest to you and told you that I cant have any relationship right now at all.

I told him I knew he was being honest...

With him then saying: My head was filed with other stuff, everything is in the past right now. actually I had fun with you and I love talk with you and I was thinking to go out with you.

I got confused by this...but since he is foreign it came off a little odd...but he was asking me out...so we went out last Friday night...

No laughing for me this time...it was so nice...he was nice...I just have such fun with him. We laugh and just talk about everything. I am never nervous with him...except when he put his arm around my waste at the bar while talking to my ear...man my heart would race and all I wanted him to do was hold on and never let go.

I am in trouble...I like him...but am trying to be calmer this time around...

I hope so...I need to just let me be me and him be him. I asked him to hang out tonight and he said sure on Monday and then last night himed and huhhed about being tired. I know he hasn't been feeling good...he had come down with a cold...and I do know what its like to have 2 jobs and just be so tired...that you cant think...so I told him this in a text this morning...he texted back saying that he just couldn't tonight...but next time. We texted back and forth all day off and on...

I am just going to let it ride...hopefully I'll hear from him...I'll wait for him next time...

I have also decided that I cant talk about this as much as I have in the past because when I do it just gets worse. I haven't blogged about this because I was afraid I would Jinx it...but I thought I would give an update...

I just hope things work out and I am trying to have a positive outlook on this.