Maybe he will...maybe he won't...

I had my date Friday night...the yahoo date...he was sweet. He held the doors open for me and was attentive to what I had to say. He seemed truly genuine. We were to see a movie after a drink...where he paid for drinks I paid for the movie...not sure...:) as I wondered maybe that meant friends...

But then he kept looking at my hand the whole movie. I never went on a movie date in High School...so it was funny...he kept hinting to wanting to hold my hand...and then finally he did. It was sweet...but I didn't feel the sizzle I did with Mr BeBe. I am not sure why...was I to tired from a long work week...was it the cold?...was it the loooong movie....was it Mr BeBe still in my head and phone texting me here and there?

I did kiss him on the cheek as a goodbye. As I said...very sweet and I know he had a good time since he just told me so :) BUT as I said....no decisions will be made...maybe the spark will hit me the next time...or the time after that.

As I was debating some of this yesterday...I decided I needed to talk to Mr BeBe again...we text here and there...but hadn't talked talked in awhile...me not wanting to be to demanding... I asked him finally: "so i hate to ask this.....because I know u r busy....but i have to know.....r u interested in getting to know me more?? or should we stop talking and stuff?? I get confused cause i do know you are busy and I don't want to put pressure there......its more I don't want to bother someone who doesn't want to be bothered....if that makes any sense at all"

He said he understood...but didn't know. He said I'm so busy...with me responding with something like this: "and i understand that i just am not sure what to do...i like you and have/had allot of fun with you....would like to hang out more...but...its more i just don't want to waste time with someone who isn't interested and its hard to know if Ur busy and interested or busy and are not interested.

Him being honest and saying he doesn't know. Which I do believe cause I honestly am not 100% sure myself...as in do I want something long term....I just know he makes me smile and tingle...he makes me happy. When I am with him that is...not the moments following.

I said now what? And he said I am not sure...then he said I think we need to meet and see how we feel face to face. I felt like screaming...well yea...what do you think I have been trying to say. Who knows what that means...and so I said OK. And he said when he can he will...just isn't sure when he will have a day off or time off to see me. Which I do believe...he does have 2 jobs and is working close to 80 hour weeks. SO I left it in his shoes...I hope we see each other again. I hope he holds up to the bargain but I guess I cant get my hopes up to high...cause maybe we will meet and maybe we won't. If we do he might decide he doesn't like me enough to WANT to see me more...even though I sometimes don't want to admit the bad as well. Maybe he will...

Maybe I will and maybe I won't...maybe he won't...maybe he will