I had such a crappy day. I started a new job last Wednesday... and all have been going OK... until today. I am over tired. It all started because I stayed out until midnight on a Sunday night. My plans for the Sunday were... movies with Mr Jam... laundry... chili for the week.
I ended up staying out until midnight... drinking beer... talking. After the movies... he walked me to the t. Well we walked by his T... and I hinted at him going and he said, "I'll walk you to yours." so sweet!!
As we were approaching the T... I said drinks? He said sure. why not? So... we were there for more then 5 hours! It just flowed... and was so easy. It was the first time in a long time that I actually smile thinking about it. I do get that tingle right now writing. It makes me nervous. When we don't talk for one day... I am kind of freaking... doubting it all. Everything we talked about goes out the window. I start thinking and remembering the negative signs rather then the positive ones. I think how I asked him... and I remember him hanging out in the past few months... he is always the last to leave. Maybe he is just like that... and it didn't matter that there was never a quiet moment. I start thinking... did he ask me questions? Or was I the one? I do remember him asking some things... but who initiated the conversations? Dumb... that's what it is. Thinking about those things... if you analyzed every awesome night out... you would start to question things.
I just worry what if he just wants to be friends? I know I will be OK with this... because I enjoy his company. But I def think I want more... I can't explain it. Its just easy.
Showing posts with label Just another Date. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just another Date. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
First date in over a year!
I walked toward him eating an apple. I was caught… he must have seen me eating the apple right? Huh… doesn’t seem to have noticed… but now what do I do with the apple? I decided to try and put it into my pocket. A pocket that was a part of a purple old navy sweatshirt. I looked at my shirt and stopped him with a hand on his arm. Should we go to Lucky's instead? I am not dressed for this place. He had told me earlier that he had to go home to change… get into something more comfortable… doesn’t that mean jeans and a t-shirt. Not a black trench coat and a collared shirt. He smiled and said, “you are fine… come on”…We go inside the bar and its packed…. It’s a Monday night? There was one lone stool, he takes it and asks, “Is this OK?” I am standing there trying to find a way to hide the apple… and there is this shelf under an island bar and I place it into the corner. I didn’t know what else to do? Is that as bad as someone putting gum under a seat?
We had a nice time… him and I. I will call him Mr. NyQuil. He was nice… wanted to liquor me up. It didn’t help that my dinner was two apples. I did drink too much… he did pay. We ended up in my car… it was like I was 16. Fighting with him to not go to far. I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. I should… its been forever since I have been on a date let alone anything else. But maybe it was the comment that he was the best I would ever get. Really? Did he mean the way Anchorman had meant it… that he was better then I and he was the best I could have. Or was it because he was so full of himself that he thought he was really all that? I am not sure… but it was a little bit like cold water splashed on my face. I don’t know… I decided to end the night by driving him to South Station… him begging the whole way. He left mad… mad? Really? At age 29? He called before I hit the Pike… asking if I was upset… I said “yea… you?” “Friday?” he asks? I said “yup.” He texted before I was home. IMed me as soon as I checked my email. I was a little uncomfortable… what? Why? He asked me if I wanted him. I said, “do you want me?” He says, “Yes, I want that.” I told him “I want that is NOT I want you.” Of course he then backpedals and says “of course I want you.”
I decided after thinking through the morning that I can’t go through with this. Of course he IMed me when I got in this morning… he wanted to meet up tonight? Or tomorrow? I said, “nope, I can’t go out again until Friday.” After lots of whining about me being busy the ext two nights… but he is busy all weekend? “Oh no, speaking of Friday, I cant do it after all, there is this work thing.” I know he was lying… cause he wanted it his way and only his way. And I am done.
I deleted his phone number and told him on IM I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t go through with this… that I wanted something more. And I was so happy I did. I did kind of liked him… but I don’t want another Anchorman.
We had a nice time… him and I. I will call him Mr. NyQuil. He was nice… wanted to liquor me up. It didn’t help that my dinner was two apples. I did drink too much… he did pay. We ended up in my car… it was like I was 16. Fighting with him to not go to far. I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. I should… its been forever since I have been on a date let alone anything else. But maybe it was the comment that he was the best I would ever get. Really? Did he mean the way Anchorman had meant it… that he was better then I and he was the best I could have. Or was it because he was so full of himself that he thought he was really all that? I am not sure… but it was a little bit like cold water splashed on my face. I don’t know… I decided to end the night by driving him to South Station… him begging the whole way. He left mad… mad? Really? At age 29? He called before I hit the Pike… asking if I was upset… I said “yea… you?” “Friday?” he asks? I said “yup.” He texted before I was home. IMed me as soon as I checked my email. I was a little uncomfortable… what? Why? He asked me if I wanted him. I said, “do you want me?” He says, “Yes, I want that.” I told him “I want that is NOT I want you.” Of course he then backpedals and says “of course I want you.”
I decided after thinking through the morning that I can’t go through with this. Of course he IMed me when I got in this morning… he wanted to meet up tonight? Or tomorrow? I said, “nope, I can’t go out again until Friday.” After lots of whining about me being busy the ext two nights… but he is busy all weekend? “Oh no, speaking of Friday, I cant do it after all, there is this work thing.” I know he was lying… cause he wanted it his way and only his way. And I am done.
I deleted his phone number and told him on IM I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t go through with this… that I wanted something more. And I was so happy I did. I did kind of liked him… but I don’t want another Anchorman.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Not so crazy
I went out last night with a crazy blind date guy. He forgot until I sent the "I'm late text!" Oh well he was nice to come even though he had been asleep when he got the reminder. We were very different... not in a bad or good way... just different culturally. He isn't my usual... but he wasn't bad either. We exchanged numbers and talked about hanging out again sometime. Not sure what that means... I am not sure either one of us knows... he did walk me to my car at the end of the drinks... was super sweet.
Not much new besides that. I have been trying to meet new people... going out with friends and whatnot... but at times its always the same ol same ol... and no one new comes around... I have decided to just have a nice time and not worry if this is the night I might meet the next cutie.
I am not doing so good at the gym resolution. In other words I need to getta move on! Literally!! My goal is 304 times this week before I hit Atlanta... then I need to just eat OK rather then go hog wild while away!
Keeping busy is my motto for the next few weeks... get me through the winter dep that can hit! Happy and busy = me!
Not much new besides that. I have been trying to meet new people... going out with friends and whatnot... but at times its always the same ol same ol... and no one new comes around... I have decided to just have a nice time and not worry if this is the night I might meet the next cutie.
I am not doing so good at the gym resolution. In other words I need to getta move on! Literally!! My goal is 304 times this week before I hit Atlanta... then I need to just eat OK rather then go hog wild while away!
Keeping busy is my motto for the next few weeks... get me through the winter dep that can hit! Happy and busy = me!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Fun!
Yikes, I do have a slight crush! What the heck... I like it and the feelings... but then at the same time I hate it... I hate not knowing and assuming things... either for or against...
I did meet someone new tonight. We have been emailing and talking on the phone for the last 6 weeks or so. We were suppose to meet a few times... but his power went out and then with the Holidays it just never happened. He was cute... and nice... and smart. He is a dad which is fine... he didn't pay though for the pizza. It wasn't that much and he didn't offer to pick up the tab. I am not sure how I feel about that... but he is a fellow Vermonter and even lived in the town over from me for a few college years. So he was nice... will he call?
I am trying to play it cool this year... and enjoy my slight little crush and have fun going on dates... meeting new people... seeing who is out there. People are right... honestly there is not rush... just have fun... my new motto! for tonight anyway!
I did meet someone new tonight. We have been emailing and talking on the phone for the last 6 weeks or so. We were suppose to meet a few times... but his power went out and then with the Holidays it just never happened. He was cute... and nice... and smart. He is a dad which is fine... he didn't pay though for the pizza. It wasn't that much and he didn't offer to pick up the tab. I am not sure how I feel about that... but he is a fellow Vermonter and even lived in the town over from me for a few college years. So he was nice... will he call?
I am trying to play it cool this year... and enjoy my slight little crush and have fun going on dates... meeting new people... seeing who is out there. People are right... honestly there is not rush... just have fun... my new motto! for tonight anyway!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I'll call you!
What a day... I woke up this morning smiling and feeling thinner by the day... yea did I tell you? I have been looooooosssssiiiinnnnngggggg weight.... jup.... 45 pounds... only have to loose 55 more pounds... hmmm maybe I will looooose 75 more... or maybe 100 will loose to me... hmmm did I say loose or lose? Anyway... off on a tangent... they're how did that feel huh... oh wait? was there spelled correctly? Hmmm maybe!
Today started out good... but it was one thing after another of things going wrong. Honestly the morning went fine... even though what I had planned didn't really pan out...
I had a meeting with a new job that I got... which ran later then I anticipated causing me to be late going to meet up with friends. After running there, no one was there... I wasn't sure if I was at the wrong place or maybe the wrong time... but I left...
I had plans for that night with a guy who had responded to my ad with CONSTANT texts all yesterday and today with 2 phone calls added on. He convinced me to meet him tonight... although there were a few hints to maybe he wanted just sex... but maybe I was reading to into it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt...
We met at the bar near my place... he came in... saw me and pretty much ran the other way! OK... well not exactly that way... but pretty near close! We sat there... awkwardly... he was pretty hot... a lot hotter then the pic... but he was kind of dumb... at first I thought he was shy... nervous? He kept giving this nervous laugh... but I realized when he kept glancing at the TV then his watch, that maybe he wasn't nervous... more that he was uncomfortable... until he answered his phone... and then I realized he was trying to find an easy way out! I felt like saying wow... am I really really that bad? huh... so he then proceeds to tell me that he needs to run... his ex called and said that his son had fallen and was going to the hospital... sorry... "you have to work right? so it works in both our favors!" I gave a half laugh... "sure..." I should have said whatever you need to do to take yourself off the guilty book..." but whatever! He then says..." Well Ill call you sometime!" ha... isn't that the same thing the last guy said to me? noooo... he said maybe I will run into you some time..."
He then proceeds... to throw down enough money for his beer... and ran out... the beer had been more then the 3 bucks he had gave me... so I had to cover the rest. Its weird... cause isn't this the second guy who I had made run away from me... what the hell is it?
Today started out good... but it was one thing after another of things going wrong. Honestly the morning went fine... even though what I had planned didn't really pan out...
I had a meeting with a new job that I got... which ran later then I anticipated causing me to be late going to meet up with friends. After running there, no one was there... I wasn't sure if I was at the wrong place or maybe the wrong time... but I left...
I had plans for that night with a guy who had responded to my ad with CONSTANT texts all yesterday and today with 2 phone calls added on. He convinced me to meet him tonight... although there were a few hints to maybe he wanted just sex... but maybe I was reading to into it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt...
We met at the bar near my place... he came in... saw me and pretty much ran the other way! OK... well not exactly that way... but pretty near close! We sat there... awkwardly... he was pretty hot... a lot hotter then the pic... but he was kind of dumb... at first I thought he was shy... nervous? He kept giving this nervous laugh... but I realized when he kept glancing at the TV then his watch, that maybe he wasn't nervous... more that he was uncomfortable... until he answered his phone... and then I realized he was trying to find an easy way out! I felt like saying wow... am I really really that bad? huh... so he then proceeds to tell me that he needs to run... his ex called and said that his son had fallen and was going to the hospital... sorry... "you have to work right? so it works in both our favors!" I gave a half laugh... "sure..." I should have said whatever you need to do to take yourself off the guilty book..." but whatever! He then says..." Well Ill call you sometime!" ha... isn't that the same thing the last guy said to me? noooo... he said maybe I will run into you some time..."
He then proceeds... to throw down enough money for his beer... and ran out... the beer had been more then the 3 bucks he had gave me... so I had to cover the rest. Its weird... cause isn't this the second guy who I had made run away from me... what the hell is it?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Back in again
I went on a crazy blind date last night... I haven't been on one of those in a long time... and for the first time in awhile they hit a double. He was cute... maybe a little young... more in the still have major dreams stage of his 20's rather then the immature young. We talked... laughed... ate and had a beer. We had a lot of similar things around us... similarities I wasn't sure on... but more about the similarities of daily life things. He works within throwing distance from my place... stepped on the same treadmills as I... worked near another place I worked as well... went to school and graduated around the same time as a good friend from Iowa...
I thought it was going well... he paid... we walked out... and as I neared my car... he turned and hugged me and said, "maybe I'll catch you at Second St." I laughed and said sure... hmmm... Ill be honest and say that didn't sound so great... that didn't sound like hey lets get together again sometime... so I waited until just now to send the only email I am allowed until and only if he emails back. Then we can chat... but not until then can we... he was nice enough... but for once I am not going to take it personally that he doesn't call back... I had a great time and I am taking it for what it is... maybe I am at the beginning of a new me!
I did go out tonight as well... and there are times when I hang out and I wonder... I am not saying with everyone... but usually one guy of the group would make me wonder... tonight I did and I wondered even for just a little bit... was he wondering too?
I thought it was going well... he paid... we walked out... and as I neared my car... he turned and hugged me and said, "maybe I'll catch you at Second St." I laughed and said sure... hmmm... Ill be honest and say that didn't sound so great... that didn't sound like hey lets get together again sometime... so I waited until just now to send the only email I am allowed until and only if he emails back. Then we can chat... but not until then can we... he was nice enough... but for once I am not going to take it personally that he doesn't call back... I had a great time and I am taking it for what it is... maybe I am at the beginning of a new me!
I did go out tonight as well... and there are times when I hang out and I wonder... I am not saying with everyone... but usually one guy of the group would make me wonder... tonight I did and I wondered even for just a little bit... was he wondering too?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Last Sunday
I met a new Match guy last Sunday... he was nice... much better looking from his pics then in real life. But maybe that was because he seemed super nervous. I always talk way to much when someone is nervous around me...
He was nice thought and bought me my coffee and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. We went for lunch after coffee at another place next door. After spending a few hours... we went our separate ways. I am not sure what will happen next... he did email the next day saying he had a nice time and this that and the other. We said we would hang out again some night... not sure when... but I'll keep you updated.
He was nice thought and bought me my coffee and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. We went for lunch after coffee at another place next door. After spending a few hours... we went our separate ways. I am not sure what will happen next... he did email the next day saying he had a nice time and this that and the other. We said we would hang out again some night... not sure when... but I'll keep you updated.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I am bored... why not?
Mr. Friday and I talked last week… he actually called the following night… we talked… him saying he freaked after reading my text… that we are not girlfriend and boyfriend. That he thought we were dating… he still wants to meet other people and likes not being super serious. I said I was fine with that… but at the same time I am not going to be sleeping with three guys at once… and I don’t expect one guy to leave me to some other girls the next night. Sex complicates things… I am fine dating… but as I said, sex complicates things! Him agreeing, but saying that he feels like that is a part of falling for someone that is a part of knowing someone… I am not sure what we agreed on in the end… but the discussion is out there… and my feelings are known!
We also talked about that I want to know that he wants to see ME and hang out with me… He said he did… that he wanted to see me… he just isn’t good on the weeknights… he works long and tiring hours and just doesn’t like to be social and hang out after work. I said that was fine… but how am I suppose to know that? I said… this is why we are discussing this… cause I don’t know these things and I cant read your mind. Now that I know, we wont make plans during the week. So he then asks, Friday night? I had plans… Saturday he asks? Nope… in Vermont! Ok, well then another time. Me saying, yea, another time… I thought for sure I wouldn’t hear from him again. But Tuesday arrived and I got a text, “How was Vermont?” I texted back a few hours later, he texted asking if I had plans this weekend?
So I called him back verses texting… deciding Saturday night works the best… he is going to come over and hang out… I am moving Sunday… so I am going to be packing… and I am not going to feel like going out…
Who know what all this means… I kind of don’t care and am going to need a break… and have no car… so why not have Mr. F come over. I’m bored, so why not? I am definitely not feeling what I felt when I was see Mr. Anchorman or Mr. Bebe… I guess I am just comfortable at times with him… I just don’t think I like like him… I am not even sure how attracted I am… as I said I’m bored… so why not? Why not for now… as long as he isn’t thinking I am thinking serious… so why not go as is for Saturday and not worry about the following until I need to.
We also talked about that I want to know that he wants to see ME and hang out with me… He said he did… that he wanted to see me… he just isn’t good on the weeknights… he works long and tiring hours and just doesn’t like to be social and hang out after work. I said that was fine… but how am I suppose to know that? I said… this is why we are discussing this… cause I don’t know these things and I cant read your mind. Now that I know, we wont make plans during the week. So he then asks, Friday night? I had plans… Saturday he asks? Nope… in Vermont! Ok, well then another time. Me saying, yea, another time… I thought for sure I wouldn’t hear from him again. But Tuesday arrived and I got a text, “How was Vermont?” I texted back a few hours later, he texted asking if I had plans this weekend?
So I called him back verses texting… deciding Saturday night works the best… he is going to come over and hang out… I am moving Sunday… so I am going to be packing… and I am not going to feel like going out…
Who know what all this means… I kind of don’t care and am going to need a break… and have no car… so why not have Mr. F come over. I’m bored, so why not? I am definitely not feeling what I felt when I was see Mr. Anchorman or Mr. Bebe… I guess I am just comfortable at times with him… I just don’t think I like like him… I am not even sure how attracted I am… as I said I’m bored… so why not? Why not for now… as long as he isn’t thinking I am thinking serious… so why not go as is for Saturday and not worry about the following until I need to.
Monday, August 25, 2008
I am 30!!
I turned 30 today! I had a great day… was excited about my plans with Mr. Friday… He did meet the friends on Friday… and it went good… I could tell he was showing off… and it was ok for the most part… just sometimes I wonder that’s all. Like when the guy that was suppose to start playing the piano at 8 wasn’t playing at 8:05… Mr. F kind of made a comment here and there… and all I could think of was… “Please don’t say anything to embarrass me!” He didn’t thank god!
It was a nice night… he chatted with some friends here and there… I am just not sure right now! It is so hard to explain… For one thing… I am just not sure what we have in common. We sit a lot of the time and I never know what to talk about. He LOVES politics… and yea I should know more about what is going on with it… and have been aware that I need to tune in. BUT, he is so far advanced in that area… and I don’t mind talking about it some… but I don’t get that passionate about it… I am not sure I ever will.
And then there is what happens in our day to day lives… so naturally we talk about that… his parents and mine… the weekend and week… what happened and what is planned… but what about other things? We saw music the first time we hung out… but haven’t since… we both like movies sure… but we can only talk about movies and TV so much. I am just not sure what else to talk about??
This has been on my mind all weekend… then today arrives… and I got a text from him at 9 saying “Happy Birthday!” Which was super sweet…
Tonight arrived… and the plan was to go to dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie or whatever… we arrive at the restaurant/pub. This is one of my favorite places… I have some great memories here… so it was a great place to spend my 30th birthday.
He kind of was in an odd mood from the start… wasn’t an attitude really… just short here and there… I had a coupon for a free meal on my bday… thinking, why not use it. He said when he realized it, “Well since this was my birthday gift to you… I get to buy just my own dinner…” We laughed about it… but… it was cute… but at the same time felt out of place I guess. Then we sat down and I scratched my ankle (I have BAD BAD poison ivy ALL over my legs) and he says ok scratchy…. Hahah… so we laughed and he says under his breath or quietly… not sure which…. “How romantic…” hmmm ok?
We ordered an appetizer and two meals… as we were waiting… we just kind of sat there… we didn’t know what else to talk about… so we tried to fill in the gaps here and there… and he was getting frustrated cause he was starving… and then the waitress brings over gravy for the fries… when we still hadn’t the appetizer yet. He looked at me and then tapped the lady on the shoulder and said, “Hey, why did this come out now? I would have rather gotten a fresh one when my fry’s come out… and our appetizer hasn’t even arrived yet…” She was shaken up… kept saying sorry! So… I was kind of uncomforgatable at this point. I never say much to the wait staff… unless they are bitch and nasty. But it’s not there fault!
So, we continue to wait… while the tables around us are all getting there main course… and we still needed our apps. She came by… the waitress and said that it would be up shortly… he smiled and said, “yea I am feeling a little neglected that’s all.” Hmmm ok? What about me? It’s MY Birthday!
I have been feeling off all day and I thought it was cause of my birth control pills… and when I say off, I mean super nauseous and just not hungry much at all… but it kind of came and went all day… so the apps arrived and I ate some of it… not tons just a few bites. Mr. Friday seemed to have calmed down… I mentioned at one point that it wasn’t the waitress’s fault… maybe something happened with the cook or whatever… he was like “true.” I ate and then the meals come. Our plan was to split the turkey and steak tips… I got one and he the other. He starts to split them and I take a fry. I all of sudden felt super full… I decided to take a breather and go to the ladies room. I was feeling worse by this point… and even thought about throwing up… but I thought I was ok.
I sat down and smiled at Mr. F…. asking how the food was? I drank some water and kept getting nauseous… at this point I had gotten all clammy and pale… and Mr. F could tell something wasn’t right… I said, “I am not feeling so good… I don’t think I can eat anymore right now.” I then decided maybe I needed to go to the bathroom… where I had to wait for the other person to finish. I opened the door to the outside… I was shaking and super pale. I got into the bathroom just in time to throw up all my apps…
After a little bit longer in the bathroom… I come out and he had pretty much finished his meal. He obviously knew I wasn’t feeling great… I said I was sorry… and I hope his food was ok. The waitress stopped by… asking if I would like to wrap up my non-eaten plate of food. I said sure and he said, “She isn’t feeling so good.” We get the check… and he says to the waitress… I feel like we should get some kind of deal for the apps since we waited so long… she ended up giving us 10% off plus I had the coupon for my free meal. I did take notice to what he gave her for a tip… and it was about 15%… more if you used the check he got… with the discounts taken off.
We walk outside and he says, “well since your not feeling good... we can postpone the movie… I also don’t want to get sick for this weekend…” I was like “ok, night… thanks” He kissed me on the forehead and said “goodnight… feel better”
It was an odd night… I am not sure what made me sick… and I am just not sure about this… about Mr. Friday. The whole being rude to the waitress… and on my birthday no less got to me…. It sure wasn’t a turn on! I guess I am also wondering what we have in common? I am not sure right now. I am not going to end it yet… I am not at that point. If this is the end though, I am not going to be surprised and maybe not that upset. I mean I def am liking the thought of having someone I know I will see… someone who pays attention to me. BUT… I am not sure if it’s HIM that I like or the idea of him.
As I said, I am def not going to say goodbye… unless he does it first… but I do see some red signs here… which I am going to have a good look at. Maybe he was in a bad mood… or maybe I wasn’t feeling good and was more sensitive then I realized. The next time I see him could be amazing… I am just not sure right now.
I am leaving the ball in his court for now. The last few weeks have been a mutual decision to hang out… but me getting the ball rolling. I think I am going to take a step back and wait. If he wants me… he knows where to find me. In some ways he owes me for tonight… he needs to want me… I have made the last few moves and now it’s his turn… or maybe this is the end… and we go our separate ways? As I say most of the time these days… we will see!
It was a nice night… he chatted with some friends here and there… I am just not sure right now! It is so hard to explain… For one thing… I am just not sure what we have in common. We sit a lot of the time and I never know what to talk about. He LOVES politics… and yea I should know more about what is going on with it… and have been aware that I need to tune in. BUT, he is so far advanced in that area… and I don’t mind talking about it some… but I don’t get that passionate about it… I am not sure I ever will.
And then there is what happens in our day to day lives… so naturally we talk about that… his parents and mine… the weekend and week… what happened and what is planned… but what about other things? We saw music the first time we hung out… but haven’t since… we both like movies sure… but we can only talk about movies and TV so much. I am just not sure what else to talk about??
This has been on my mind all weekend… then today arrives… and I got a text from him at 9 saying “Happy Birthday!” Which was super sweet…
Tonight arrived… and the plan was to go to dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie or whatever… we arrive at the restaurant/pub. This is one of my favorite places… I have some great memories here… so it was a great place to spend my 30th birthday.
He kind of was in an odd mood from the start… wasn’t an attitude really… just short here and there… I had a coupon for a free meal on my bday… thinking, why not use it. He said when he realized it, “Well since this was my birthday gift to you… I get to buy just my own dinner…” We laughed about it… but… it was cute… but at the same time felt out of place I guess. Then we sat down and I scratched my ankle (I have BAD BAD poison ivy ALL over my legs) and he says ok scratchy…. Hahah… so we laughed and he says under his breath or quietly… not sure which…. “How romantic…” hmmm ok?
We ordered an appetizer and two meals… as we were waiting… we just kind of sat there… we didn’t know what else to talk about… so we tried to fill in the gaps here and there… and he was getting frustrated cause he was starving… and then the waitress brings over gravy for the fries… when we still hadn’t the appetizer yet. He looked at me and then tapped the lady on the shoulder and said, “Hey, why did this come out now? I would have rather gotten a fresh one when my fry’s come out… and our appetizer hasn’t even arrived yet…” She was shaken up… kept saying sorry! So… I was kind of uncomforgatable at this point. I never say much to the wait staff… unless they are bitch and nasty. But it’s not there fault!
So, we continue to wait… while the tables around us are all getting there main course… and we still needed our apps. She came by… the waitress and said that it would be up shortly… he smiled and said, “yea I am feeling a little neglected that’s all.” Hmmm ok? What about me? It’s MY Birthday!
I have been feeling off all day and I thought it was cause of my birth control pills… and when I say off, I mean super nauseous and just not hungry much at all… but it kind of came and went all day… so the apps arrived and I ate some of it… not tons just a few bites. Mr. Friday seemed to have calmed down… I mentioned at one point that it wasn’t the waitress’s fault… maybe something happened with the cook or whatever… he was like “true.” I ate and then the meals come. Our plan was to split the turkey and steak tips… I got one and he the other. He starts to split them and I take a fry. I all of sudden felt super full… I decided to take a breather and go to the ladies room. I was feeling worse by this point… and even thought about throwing up… but I thought I was ok.
I sat down and smiled at Mr. F…. asking how the food was? I drank some water and kept getting nauseous… at this point I had gotten all clammy and pale… and Mr. F could tell something wasn’t right… I said, “I am not feeling so good… I don’t think I can eat anymore right now.” I then decided maybe I needed to go to the bathroom… where I had to wait for the other person to finish. I opened the door to the outside… I was shaking and super pale. I got into the bathroom just in time to throw up all my apps…
After a little bit longer in the bathroom… I come out and he had pretty much finished his meal. He obviously knew I wasn’t feeling great… I said I was sorry… and I hope his food was ok. The waitress stopped by… asking if I would like to wrap up my non-eaten plate of food. I said sure and he said, “She isn’t feeling so good.” We get the check… and he says to the waitress… I feel like we should get some kind of deal for the apps since we waited so long… she ended up giving us 10% off plus I had the coupon for my free meal. I did take notice to what he gave her for a tip… and it was about 15%… more if you used the check he got… with the discounts taken off.
We walk outside and he says, “well since your not feeling good... we can postpone the movie… I also don’t want to get sick for this weekend…” I was like “ok, night… thanks” He kissed me on the forehead and said “goodnight… feel better”
It was an odd night… I am not sure what made me sick… and I am just not sure about this… about Mr. Friday. The whole being rude to the waitress… and on my birthday no less got to me…. It sure wasn’t a turn on! I guess I am also wondering what we have in common? I am not sure right now. I am not going to end it yet… I am not at that point. If this is the end though, I am not going to be surprised and maybe not that upset. I mean I def am liking the thought of having someone I know I will see… someone who pays attention to me. BUT… I am not sure if it’s HIM that I like or the idea of him.
As I said, I am def not going to say goodbye… unless he does it first… but I do see some red signs here… which I am going to have a good look at. Maybe he was in a bad mood… or maybe I wasn’t feeling good and was more sensitive then I realized. The next time I see him could be amazing… I am just not sure right now.
I am leaving the ball in his court for now. The last few weeks have been a mutual decision to hang out… but me getting the ball rolling. I think I am going to take a step back and wait. If he wants me… he knows where to find me. In some ways he owes me for tonight… he needs to want me… I have made the last few moves and now it’s his turn… or maybe this is the end… and we go our separate ways? As I say most of the time these days… we will see!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Sick!
It was 6:30… and I had another date with Mr. Friday… it had been almost a week… and we had plans for dinner. I was excited actually…even put makeup on for the occasion.
As I was coming up to where my car was suppose to be…I realized it was missing… ”what the hell?” I started to freak…was it stolen? Towed? But why would it have been towed?
As I was looking around… I noticed another car being towed at the other end of the street. I walked to the copper sitting there watching… and asked him where my car was…and why had it been towed? I didn’t have it registered! It was the 6th! And it was towed from being 6 days late?
I called Mr. Friday and told him I couldn’t meet him after all… I was kind of freaking out to be honest… and was trying to stay calm. He was all stuffed up and coughing due to a cold… but offered to pick me up when he caught the hysteria bubbling near the surface. I felt bad, so I said “no you are sick… I can just figure it out.” He said, “no, I can come and bring you to your car. Where are you now?”
In a nutshell… I had to register my car before picking it up… but since it was after 7… I wasn’t sure it would go through. I went to the towing place… and as I was getting out, MR Friday asks if I was ok now? I said sure, I can cab it if I can’t get it… and he proceeds to say, no I can come in… let me go around the block. I couldn’t pick up my car without having the proper registration… they had to call the police to see if it went through… basically it wouldn’t until someone could process it.
I went upstairs, grabbed stuff from my car, and got back into his jeep. I started directing him home… he had said earlier that he wasn’t feeling good enough to even eat. As we were driving by some restaurants, I said “are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” He decided to pull into one after all… we had another nice time… him trying not to cough and me trying not to feel to bad. I decided to pay for dinner as a thank you… and he then drove me home.
As we were pulling up to my place…he says “I don’t want to kiss you goodnight because I don’t want you to get sick…” I smiled and said “ok, thanks again” him saying “thanks for dinner.”
So I guess we are still seeing each other… since he mentioned a kiss and helped me out when he really didn’t have to. It was nice and sweet that he helped… and obviously wanted to see me even though he wasn’t feeling well. I think the whole night actually made me like him more… just because for once I had someone I could count on… even for just that night. So… that is that… not sure when I will see him again… but I am assuming it will be sometime next week… since I have other plans this weekend.
As I was coming up to where my car was suppose to be…I realized it was missing… ”what the hell?” I started to freak…was it stolen? Towed? But why would it have been towed?
As I was looking around… I noticed another car being towed at the other end of the street. I walked to the copper sitting there watching… and asked him where my car was…and why had it been towed? I didn’t have it registered! It was the 6th! And it was towed from being 6 days late?
I called Mr. Friday and told him I couldn’t meet him after all… I was kind of freaking out to be honest… and was trying to stay calm. He was all stuffed up and coughing due to a cold… but offered to pick me up when he caught the hysteria bubbling near the surface. I felt bad, so I said “no you are sick… I can just figure it out.” He said, “no, I can come and bring you to your car. Where are you now?”
In a nutshell… I had to register my car before picking it up… but since it was after 7… I wasn’t sure it would go through. I went to the towing place… and as I was getting out, MR Friday asks if I was ok now? I said sure, I can cab it if I can’t get it… and he proceeds to say, no I can come in… let me go around the block. I couldn’t pick up my car without having the proper registration… they had to call the police to see if it went through… basically it wouldn’t until someone could process it.
I went upstairs, grabbed stuff from my car, and got back into his jeep. I started directing him home… he had said earlier that he wasn’t feeling good enough to even eat. As we were driving by some restaurants, I said “are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” He decided to pull into one after all… we had another nice time… him trying not to cough and me trying not to feel to bad. I decided to pay for dinner as a thank you… and he then drove me home.
As we were pulling up to my place…he says “I don’t want to kiss you goodnight because I don’t want you to get sick…” I smiled and said “ok, thanks again” him saying “thanks for dinner.”
So I guess we are still seeing each other… since he mentioned a kiss and helped me out when he really didn’t have to. It was nice and sweet that he helped… and obviously wanted to see me even though he wasn’t feeling well. I think the whole night actually made me like him more… just because for once I had someone I could count on… even for just that night. So… that is that… not sure when I will see him again… but I am assuming it will be sometime next week… since I have other plans this weekend.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday stalker!
Last Friday night I went to dinner with friends I hadn't seen in 8 years! It was so nice to see them, and connect with someone from my past...to connect with someone you just know had a similar backgrounds growing up. As I was following them to there place after dinner, I thought about texting Mr Friday that I was in his neighborhood...since we were hanging out the following night instead, I knew he had plans with his new roommate.... I asked him actually...since he said he was busy and broke, I thought a low key night was in order. SO I emailed and asked...he said sure, lets do Saturday night.
So...as I was driving to my friends, I drove by someone walking to his car, as I glanced through my window, I saw him...it was Mr. Friday! I started to laugh, and yea my heart did race some...just from the shock...so I decided to call...and even though he was with his roommate and obviously busy, he still answered..."Hey, what's up?" Me, "not much, did you just walk outside?" haha so yea it was him...the stalker that I am!
So, that was a small world moment, him saying, "Well now you know where I live tomorrow night if you come by to watch the movie."
SO, Saturday came...and so did the night. I picked up pizza on my way...and we watched a movie... he was nice... and sweet as usual... it was super comfortable, and I could have just stayed...maybe it was the beer and the good company.
I will be honest and say I am still not so sure yet. I def am liking him...and when I think about him he does put a smile on my face...but at times I think...what am I feeling really? Comfort or attraction? Is it like because he obviously is interested and maybe I like the attention and that for once someone is into ME!
I know I enjoy his company...and maybe his kiss did have a little bit more heat this time, but...I guess I will see as time goes on. Maybe I am waiting for the donkey or pig I usually date...that I am just not used to it...its confusing cause I am usually more worried how they are feeling rather then analyzing my own feelings. My own feelings have been second for so long, that sometimes I don't know how to think for me.
Its not just in guys, its my whole life. I worry about everyone, from roommates and family to coworkers and friends...what they think matters to me. I would rather someone be happy...as long as that is the case then I am at ease. Am I happy?? Hmmm...I don't know...I am just more at ease...until someone frowns that is.
I have been really working on trying not to be this way anymore. I have been making an effort to live my life rather then someone else's. Because as we all know its "MY LIFE" no one else's...for me that is. SO, if this is the case...maybe I am just scared and don't know how to feel this way...feel this "MY LIFE" thing that everyone else knows about.
OR...is it him and maybe we just don't click...or do we?
So...as I was driving to my friends, I drove by someone walking to his car, as I glanced through my window, I saw him...it was Mr. Friday! I started to laugh, and yea my heart did race some...just from the shock...so I decided to call...and even though he was with his roommate and obviously busy, he still answered..."Hey, what's up?" Me, "not much, did you just walk outside?" haha so yea it was him...the stalker that I am!
So, that was a small world moment, him saying, "Well now you know where I live tomorrow night if you come by to watch the movie."
SO, Saturday came...and so did the night. I picked up pizza on my way...and we watched a movie... he was nice... and sweet as usual... it was super comfortable, and I could have just stayed...maybe it was the beer and the good company.
I will be honest and say I am still not so sure yet. I def am liking him...and when I think about him he does put a smile on my face...but at times I think...what am I feeling really? Comfort or attraction? Is it like because he obviously is interested and maybe I like the attention and that for once someone is into ME!
I know I enjoy his company...and maybe his kiss did have a little bit more heat this time, but...I guess I will see as time goes on. Maybe I am waiting for the donkey or pig I usually date...that I am just not used to it...its confusing cause I am usually more worried how they are feeling rather then analyzing my own feelings. My own feelings have been second for so long, that sometimes I don't know how to think for me.
Its not just in guys, its my whole life. I worry about everyone, from roommates and family to coworkers and friends...what they think matters to me. I would rather someone be happy...as long as that is the case then I am at ease. Am I happy?? Hmmm...I don't know...I am just more at ease...until someone frowns that is.
I have been really working on trying not to be this way anymore. I have been making an effort to live my life rather then someone else's. Because as we all know its "MY LIFE" no one else's...for me that is. SO, if this is the case...maybe I am just scared and don't know how to feel this way...feel this "MY LIFE" thing that everyone else knows about.
OR...is it him and maybe we just don't click...or do we?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Another friday!
I had my second date with Mr Friday. He was still nice and sweet...I did find it odd that he kissed me as soon as I got into the car...not like "wowo baby you light my fire"...a more like..."hi sweety, how are you?" Just strange for the second date I guess...but sweet I suppose.
We had another great night. He is super sweet and doesn't worry about ordering and then paying...he just is nice. We went for dinner and to a movie to see "Batman" which was awesome by the way! Heath was an amazing actor! OK, back to the date, after about an hour he held my hand and put his hand on my thigh...it was nice.
We drove back to my place, he picked me up and drove me home...like a real date...so as he was driving down my street, I was obsessing "do I let him in?" or "do I not?" when he pulled up to my driveway...and saying "Well I had another great night." We kissed a few kisses and then I said goodnight. I get paranoid after the last few years when a guy doesn't do more I guess. I just expected him to say, no one more...or something like that...does that mean he is just an actual nice guy who is going slow...or is he just not that into it...its so hard to tell at first...which maybe is a good thing rather then a bad.
I have a hard time though...telling if I am really and truly attracted...I mean sure when we held hands it was nice, but when we kiss it isn't stars and passions...but will it come in time...maybe we are both nervous and careful and aren't putting out hearts out there...but what is it really? OK this is me going on a tangent here...so stop reading if you have to...but...
What if, because I like him and we have fun...laugh and have similar interests....OK so now WHAT if I settle for this and go slow for the time being...just have fun and what not...and settle for non passion...settle for comfort first. I know there will be a third date...and prolly a fourth...so I get nervous thinking about that time...because then it means we will have sex...and then we are exclusive...then months have gone by...lives are being mingled... Then I stop and think did I really want all of this I am turning 50 and living with some man that I don't have sex with...but who I know I am OK with.
Is that an OK thing? What if I am so DESPERATE...that I settle...and stop looking for "the one"...BUT who says he ISN'T number one? What says it has to be one way or the other...right? I just get nervous and stress about these kinds of things...just the not knowing. I want there to be some kind of sign that says this is him...this is the feeling you get...this is an emotion that makes ur heart race and palms sweat and you have met the one who you want to jump at every moment. BUT see that's me looking for perfection. What is real? How does someone know that this is it...
Anyway...I think I am done rambling for one night, and go to bed. I know only time will tell with Mr Friday, and its a great thing that he is moving slowly...cause I need time to figure out what I want...without letting the physical get in the way.
We had another great night. He is super sweet and doesn't worry about ordering and then paying...he just is nice. We went for dinner and to a movie to see "Batman" which was awesome by the way! Heath was an amazing actor! OK, back to the date, after about an hour he held my hand and put his hand on my thigh...it was nice.
We drove back to my place, he picked me up and drove me home...like a real date...so as he was driving down my street, I was obsessing "do I let him in?" or "do I not?" when he pulled up to my driveway...and saying "Well I had another great night." We kissed a few kisses and then I said goodnight. I get paranoid after the last few years when a guy doesn't do more I guess. I just expected him to say, no one more...or something like that...does that mean he is just an actual nice guy who is going slow...or is he just not that into it...its so hard to tell at first...which maybe is a good thing rather then a bad.
I have a hard time though...telling if I am really and truly attracted...I mean sure when we held hands it was nice, but when we kiss it isn't stars and passions...but will it come in time...maybe we are both nervous and careful and aren't putting out hearts out there...but what is it really? OK this is me going on a tangent here...so stop reading if you have to...but...
What if, because I like him and we have fun...laugh and have similar interests....OK so now WHAT if I settle for this and go slow for the time being...just have fun and what not...and settle for non passion...settle for comfort first. I know there will be a third date...and prolly a fourth...so I get nervous thinking about that time...because then it means we will have sex...and then we are exclusive...then months have gone by...lives are being mingled... Then I stop and think did I really want all of this I am turning 50 and living with some man that I don't have sex with...but who I know I am OK with.
Is that an OK thing? What if I am so DESPERATE...that I settle...and stop looking for "the one"...BUT who says he ISN'T number one? What says it has to be one way or the other...right? I just get nervous and stress about these kinds of things...just the not knowing. I want there to be some kind of sign that says this is him...this is the feeling you get...this is an emotion that makes ur heart race and palms sweat and you have met the one who you want to jump at every moment. BUT see that's me looking for perfection. What is real? How does someone know that this is it...
Anyway...I think I am done rambling for one night, and go to bed. I know only time will tell with Mr Friday, and its a great thing that he is moving slowly...cause I need time to figure out what I want...without letting the physical get in the way.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Im going to go with the flow.
I had a date Friday night. It was nice...better then I expected. He seems to be really nice and genuine. I am def not sure where its headed...I do know he kissed me goodnight and contacted me the next morning. He was interested...and I think I am too.
It was nice that he paid for dinner, not making me feel bad for it. He held doors open for me...and I think he was more nervous then I was...since he was wearing a long sleeve shirt in 80 degree weather. We connected during dinner, and I decided to invite him to watch a friends band...I bought his cover and he bought me drinks. He was sweet and liked the bands...was or seemed excited about them and finding new bands to follow. He didn't attack me for sex, he didn't even hold my hand which I'll be honest and say I kind of don't like it...maybe later on I will...but during a first date its awkward. He did have his arm around my shoulder on the T ride and did give me a hug and kiss goodnight.
So we are suppose to plan something soon, he called me tonight. As I said he was nice...I just need to learn to STOP thinking ahead, and stop freaking and thinking and over analysing. I need to just enjoy the here and the now and stop wondering what people are thinking and wondering, stop thinking about what he is thinking and wondering...stop worrying about if I am into him or just lonely. And just go with the flow.
It was nice that he paid for dinner, not making me feel bad for it. He held doors open for me...and I think he was more nervous then I was...since he was wearing a long sleeve shirt in 80 degree weather. We connected during dinner, and I decided to invite him to watch a friends band...I bought his cover and he bought me drinks. He was sweet and liked the bands...was or seemed excited about them and finding new bands to follow. He didn't attack me for sex, he didn't even hold my hand which I'll be honest and say I kind of don't like it...maybe later on I will...but during a first date its awkward. He did have his arm around my shoulder on the T ride and did give me a hug and kiss goodnight.
So we are suppose to plan something soon, he called me tonight. As I said he was nice...I just need to learn to STOP thinking ahead, and stop freaking and thinking and over analysing. I need to just enjoy the here and the now and stop wondering what people are thinking and wondering, stop thinking about what he is thinking and wondering...stop worrying about if I am into him or just lonely. And just go with the flow.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Who is the question of the night!
So...I got back from Jamaica last sunday and have been feeling thinner! I had pictures taken of me and felt that a lot of them made me look thinner then I had in the past. I got hit on the minute I stepped off the bus...sure it was a Jamaican guy, but hey why not...he was a cutie in his native way.
So...I was feeling more confident in the way I look...so I decided to try dating again... also it doesnt help that I am bored... and just would like to find someone to make me laugh.
So I decided Crazy Blind Date was the way to go...then I get a text saying that this guy I was suppose to meet doesnt except text messages...which totally threw me. How was I suppose to know who the guy is...all I have on him is a name...and I wasnt about to walk up to any one standing alone and say, "Are you Ken?"
Anyway, I sat at the bar and had a beer...talked to my married very cute neighbor. I did see one guy walking around...he even looked at me and didnt say anything to me. Was he Ken? But...since neither of us had the balls to say "Are you...?" I decided though...if this guy was make my heart tremor hot...then maybe I could have something...but I just wasnt all into him...and maybe if he was Ken, he wasnt into me anymore then I was into him...other wise maybe he would have said "Are you Katie?"
So I got home, talked to a friend about hitting a movie, and went online...and decided in my hours before walking out the door, that maybe after all this time, I would check out my old stomping ground of CL> and responded to a guys ad...
"+++++ Sick of one sided conversations+++++++++++ - 32 (Waltham/Newton)
The topic says it all.. Sure I date but it always seems to be a one sided conversation. I am 32 single, handsome and looking for the right lady to engage in a REAL conversation and have a winning personality such as mine. IF you think you can fit is description send a pic to get mine and we will go from there."
We talked on email...him responding to my pic...and went on IM...which is faster then email.
7:40:04 PM Me: hi
7:40:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hey
7:40:23 PM Me: thought this might be easier
7:40:24 PM Me: ha
7:40:29 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:40:57 PM Me: so what do u do?
7:41:02 PM Mr Bullz Eye: finance
7:41:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you
7:41:19 PM Me: design
7:41:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: < -- equity trader
7:41:46 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you have a degree
7:41:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:41:50 PM Me: two
7:41:51 PM Me: ha
7:41:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: same 2
7:42:00 PM Mr Bullz Eye: where yo go
7:42:24 PM Me: school in albany ny and then grad in atlanta ga
7:42:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya my sister goes to albany college of pharm
7:42:55 PM Me: oh yea that was close to where i went
7:42:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 4th year
7:43:03 PM Me: i went to the college of st rose
7:43:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i went to oswego
7:43:24 PM Mr Bullz Eye: st rose.. my 2 aunts got here master there in music they teach good school
7:43:34 PM Me: nice
7:43:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:43:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: beans
7:43:41 PM Me: no one knows the school usually
7:43:42 PM Me: ha
7:43:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya unless you know albany
7:44:00 PM Me: where did u grow up?
7:44:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 1 hour west of albany
7:44:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: Gloversville
7:44:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: then work and live in saratoga for 4 year
7:44:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: (s)
7:44:44 PM Me: nice
7:44:50 PM Me: i like saratoga
7:44:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: fun place
7:44:58 PM Me: i grew up in vermont
7:45:03 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i snow board
7:45:05 PM Mr Bullz Eye: killington
7:45:13 PM Me: i grew up near there
7:45:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:21 PM Me: near rutland
7:45:27 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:27 PM Me: closer to NY though
7:46:10 PM Me: so no parties tonight ...lol
7:46:17 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol.. no you?
7:46:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how old are you?
7:46:27 PM Me: im off to the movies in a bit
7:46:29 PM Me: im 29
7:46:32 PM Mr Bullz Eye: k 31
7:46:40 PM Me: going to be 30 :( in a few weeks
7:46:42 PM Me: ha
7:46:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: kool
7:46:50 PM Me: no offence to the 31 yr old
7:46:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: easy killer
7:47:02 PM Me: haha
7:47:13 PM Me: i was just saying in response to my :(
7:47:22 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i know its all good
7:49:23 PM Me: u go out last night?
7:49:30 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i didnt
7:49:39 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but thursday i did
7:49:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hardcore :D
7:49:58 PM Me: lol
7:50:03 PM Me: still recovering?
7:50:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: actually trying to-unrecover!
7:51:25 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:51:31 PM Me: ?
7:51:33 PM Me: lol
7:51:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:52:30 PM Me: so u live in waltham?
7:52:44 PM Mr Bullz Eye: yes
7:52:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you?
7:52:52 PM Me: newotn
7:52:55 PM Me: newton
7:53:01 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what ever they call hit
7:53:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:53:08 PM Me: :)
7:54:44 PM Me: so we should meet up sometime or something, i find meeting better then emailing and Iming
7:55:12 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what are you looking for
7:55:21 PM Me: i dont know
7:55:30 PM Me: no expectations
7:55:38 PM Me: what r u looking for?
7:55:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: expectations
7:55:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:55:52 PM Mr Bullz Eye: no-expectations
7:56:02 PM Me: wait what
7:56:04 PM Me: lol
7:56:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im looking for whatever
7:56:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i guess
7:56:26 PM Me: at the moment i kind of want to have fun...sure I want to marriage and stuff...but you cant rush into it
7:56:40 PM Me: so i just want to have fun until its not anymore
7:56:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i love it
7:57:05 PM Me: if that makes sense
7:57:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: it does
7:57:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: are you just looking to "hook up"
7:57:42 PM Me: no
7:59:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye:well i am not looking for a one time deal i am looking for a several time deal
7:59:18 PM Me: me too!
7:59:20 PM Me: hah
7:59:34 PM Me: i dont know what i want
7:59:46 PM Me: i just want more then a FWB thing
7:59:57 PM Me: and more then a hookup
8:00:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: sounds good
8:00:24 PM Me: have u met people online before?
8:00:27 PM Me: i used to
8:00:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: your the 2nd
8:00:52 PM Me: havent in a while cause i got bored with it...but then i got bored and responded to ur ad
8:00:52 PM Me: ha
8:01:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool-beans
8:01:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i dont know
8:01:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i am just bord here in waltham
8:01:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass to be more narrow
8:02:07 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i have not met any people here and my sex life has been on ice.
8:02:19 PM Me: lol
8:02:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass girls just bor me
8:02:31 PM Mr Bullz Eye: and i just dont "hook up to have sex
8:02:44 PM Me: thats a good thing
8:02:50 PM Me: not a bad thing
8:02:56 PM Mr Bullz Eye: well it is what it is
8:03:17 PM Me: ha...i hate hooking up to be honest...as for bored...i know the feeling
8:03:34 PM Me: i havent met anyone in a long time who is fun and can make me laugh
8:03:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but i dont want to jump into this huge relationship.. i dont mind having drinks or dinner but I just dont know what i am looking for.. what happens happens is good for me though
8:03:59 PM Me: i agree on the what happens happens
8:04:23 PM Me: thats why i like meeting quicker rather then emailing and iming
8:04:37 PM Me: cause u know after meeting if you want to hang out again or not
8:04:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: totally.
8:05:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya thats fine.
8:05:34 PM Me: lol
8:05:45 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how tall are you
8:06:00 PM Me: 5'3"
8:06:03 PM Me: u?
8:06:09 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 5/7
8:06:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: weight?
8:07:00 PM Me: i dont know weight...i know clothes size, i dont go by weight, sorry
8:07:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol, ok what size are you
8:07:37 PM Me: 14, I've been loosing weight so it varies
8:08:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
8:08:33 PM Mr Bullz Eye: thats a little to heavy for me
8:08:40 PM Me: ok
8:08:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im sorry but your cute though
Changed status to Offline (8:08:56 PM)
Ok...Soooo...me and my confidence get shit on...I am going to go to a movie and take a deep breath...and just think...F-him...but...
maybe he is right?
Or if he isnt who is?
So...I was feeling more confident in the way I look...so I decided to try dating again... also it doesnt help that I am bored... and just would like to find someone to make me laugh.
So I decided Crazy Blind Date was the way to go...then I get a text saying that this guy I was suppose to meet doesnt except text messages...which totally threw me. How was I suppose to know who the guy is...all I have on him is a name...and I wasnt about to walk up to any one standing alone and say, "Are you Ken?"
Anyway, I sat at the bar and had a beer...talked to my married very cute neighbor. I did see one guy walking around...he even looked at me and didnt say anything to me. Was he Ken? But...since neither of us had the balls to say "Are you...?" I decided though...if this guy was make my heart tremor hot...then maybe I could have something...but I just wasnt all into him...and maybe if he was Ken, he wasnt into me anymore then I was into him...other wise maybe he would have said "Are you Katie?"
So I got home, talked to a friend about hitting a movie, and went online...and decided in my hours before walking out the door, that maybe after all this time, I would check out my old stomping ground of CL> and responded to a guys ad...
"+++++ Sick of one sided conversations+++++++++++ - 32 (Waltham/Newton)
The topic says it all.. Sure I date but it always seems to be a one sided conversation. I am 32 single, handsome and looking for the right lady to engage in a REAL conversation and have a winning personality such as mine. IF you think you can fit is description send a pic to get mine and we will go from there."
We talked on email...him responding to my pic...and went on IM...which is faster then email.
7:40:04 PM Me: hi
7:40:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hey
7:40:23 PM Me: thought this might be easier
7:40:24 PM Me: ha
7:40:29 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:40:57 PM Me: so what do u do?
7:41:02 PM Mr Bullz Eye: finance
7:41:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you
7:41:19 PM Me: design
7:41:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: < -- equity trader
7:41:46 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you have a degree
7:41:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:41:50 PM Me: two
7:41:51 PM Me: ha
7:41:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: same 2
7:42:00 PM Mr Bullz Eye: where yo go
7:42:24 PM Me: school in albany ny and then grad in atlanta ga
7:42:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya my sister goes to albany college of pharm
7:42:55 PM Me: oh yea that was close to where i went
7:42:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 4th year
7:43:03 PM Me: i went to the college of st rose
7:43:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i went to oswego
7:43:24 PM Mr Bullz Eye: st rose.. my 2 aunts got here master there in music they teach good school
7:43:34 PM Me: nice
7:43:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:43:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: beans
7:43:41 PM Me: no one knows the school usually
7:43:42 PM Me: ha
7:43:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya unless you know albany
7:44:00 PM Me: where did u grow up?
7:44:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 1 hour west of albany
7:44:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: Gloversville
7:44:38 PM Mr Bullz Eye: then work and live in saratoga for 4 year
7:44:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: (s)
7:44:44 PM Me: nice
7:44:50 PM Me: i like saratoga
7:44:55 PM Mr Bullz Eye: fun place
7:44:58 PM Me: i grew up in vermont
7:45:03 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i snow board
7:45:05 PM Mr Bullz Eye: killington
7:45:13 PM Me: i grew up near there
7:45:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:21 PM Me: near rutland
7:45:27 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
7:45:27 PM Me: closer to NY though
7:46:10 PM Me: so no parties tonight ...lol
7:46:17 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol.. no you?
7:46:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how old are you?
7:46:27 PM Me: im off to the movies in a bit
7:46:29 PM Me: im 29
7:46:32 PM Mr Bullz Eye: k 31
7:46:40 PM Me: going to be 30 :( in a few weeks
7:46:42 PM Me: ha
7:46:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: kool
7:46:50 PM Me: no offence to the 31 yr old
7:46:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: easy killer
7:47:02 PM Me: haha
7:47:13 PM Me: i was just saying in response to my :(
7:47:22 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i know its all good
7:49:23 PM Me: u go out last night?
7:49:30 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i didnt
7:49:39 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but thursday i did
7:49:54 PM Mr Bullz Eye: hardcore :D
7:49:58 PM Me: lol
7:50:03 PM Me: still recovering?
7:50:13 PM Mr Bullz Eye: actually trying to-unrecover!
7:51:25 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ?
7:51:31 PM Me: ?
7:51:33 PM Me: lol
7:51:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:52:30 PM Me: so u live in waltham?
7:52:44 PM Mr Bullz Eye: yes
7:52:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: you?
7:52:52 PM Me: newotn
7:52:55 PM Me: newton
7:53:01 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what ever they call hit
7:53:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:53:08 PM Me: :)
7:54:44 PM Me: so we should meet up sometime or something, i find meeting better then emailing and Iming
7:55:12 PM Mr Bullz Eye: what are you looking for
7:55:21 PM Me: i dont know
7:55:30 PM Me: no expectations
7:55:38 PM Me: what r u looking for?
7:55:48 PM Mr Bullz Eye: expectations
7:55:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol
7:55:52 PM Mr Bullz Eye: no-expectations
7:56:02 PM Me: wait what
7:56:04 PM Me: lol
7:56:15 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im looking for whatever
7:56:18 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i guess
7:56:26 PM Me: at the moment i kind of want to have fun...sure I want to marriage and stuff...but you cant rush into it
7:56:40 PM Me: so i just want to have fun until its not anymore
7:56:58 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i love it
7:57:05 PM Me: if that makes sense
7:57:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: it does
7:57:36 PM Mr Bullz Eye: are you just looking to "hook up"
7:57:42 PM Me: no
7:59:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye:well i am not looking for a one time deal i am looking for a several time deal
7:59:18 PM Me: me too!
7:59:20 PM Me: hah
7:59:34 PM Me: i dont know what i want
7:59:46 PM Me: i just want more then a FWB thing
7:59:57 PM Me: and more then a hookup
8:00:04 PM Mr Bullz Eye: sounds good
8:00:24 PM Me: have u met people online before?
8:00:27 PM Me: i used to
8:00:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: your the 2nd
8:00:52 PM Me: havent in a while cause i got bored with it...but then i got bored and responded to ur ad
8:00:52 PM Me: ha
8:01:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool-beans
8:01:23 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i dont know
8:01:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i am just bord here in waltham
8:01:43 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass to be more narrow
8:02:07 PM Mr Bullz Eye: i have not met any people here and my sex life has been on ice.
8:02:19 PM Me: lol
8:02:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: mass girls just bor me
8:02:31 PM Mr Bullz Eye: and i just dont "hook up to have sex
8:02:44 PM Me: thats a good thing
8:02:50 PM Me: not a bad thing
8:02:56 PM Mr Bullz Eye: well it is what it is
8:03:17 PM Me: ha...i hate hooking up to be honest...as for bored...i know the feeling
8:03:34 PM Me: i havent met anyone in a long time who is fun and can make me laugh
8:03:41 PM Mr Bullz Eye: but i dont want to jump into this huge relationship.. i dont mind having drinks or dinner but I just dont know what i am looking for.. what happens happens is good for me though
8:03:59 PM Me: i agree on the what happens happens
8:04:23 PM Me: thats why i like meeting quicker rather then emailing and iming
8:04:37 PM Me: cause u know after meeting if you want to hang out again or not
8:04:40 PM Mr Bullz Eye: totally.
8:05:10 PM Mr Bullz Eye: ya thats fine.
8:05:34 PM Me: lol
8:05:45 PM Mr Bullz Eye: how tall are you
8:06:00 PM Me: 5'3"
8:06:03 PM Me: u?
8:06:09 PM Mr Bullz Eye: 5/7
8:06:35 PM Mr Bullz Eye: weight?
8:07:00 PM Me: i dont know weight...i know clothes size, i dont go by weight, sorry
8:07:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: lol, ok what size are you
8:07:37 PM Me: 14, I've been loosing weight so it varies
8:08:20 PM Mr Bullz Eye: cool
8:08:33 PM Mr Bullz Eye: thats a little to heavy for me
8:08:40 PM Me: ok
8:08:51 PM Mr Bullz Eye: im sorry but your cute though
Changed status to Offline (8:08:56 PM)
Ok...Soooo...me and my confidence get shit on...I am going to go to a movie and take a deep breath...and just think...F-him...but...
maybe he is right?
Or if he isnt who is?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Another one?
I sat on the train...shaking my leg...I was running late...the train had been late...so now here I am late...shit! He said something on the CBDate thing that he would like his date to be on time...or was that Wednesday date where I had to cancel...and here I am running late...but he texted back OK...so...thats OK right?
I text at 5 after the time I was suppose to be there.
"I am almost there...I have a tan coat on."
I got a text saying..."okay...OK"
I went in and looking around the small place...and don't see anyone...so I text,
"I am here...where are you?"
Nothing...
I stand outside for 7-8 minutes.
Nothing.
I go to the bar and sit down...there is this guy sitting there...a phone in his hand and a beer in front of him. He is playing with his phone, glances at me and nothing. Is this him? Hmmm...weird if it is...because I said a tan coat...and he is looking and playing with his phone...so if this is him...he had read my text...and knew I was me...because I had on a tan coat! I am just going to text again. I text saying "Are you here?"...
Nothing.
I leave. This is ridiculous!
I start to call my mom...I talk to her a bit and tell her this new story for my blog...and as I am talking...I get a beep indicating a text. "Mom, hold on a sec." I flip the phone over and check... its him!
"OK..."
Oh my god...what in the world?
So...I text,
"Hmmm, that's awesome!"
So in other words...nope no more kisses for me...since I never heard from Potter again...
I text at 5 after the time I was suppose to be there.
"I am almost there...I have a tan coat on."
I got a text saying..."okay...OK"
I went in and looking around the small place...and don't see anyone...so I text,
"I am here...where are you?"
Nothing...
I stand outside for 7-8 minutes.
Nothing.
I go to the bar and sit down...there is this guy sitting there...a phone in his hand and a beer in front of him. He is playing with his phone, glances at me and nothing. Is this him? Hmmm...weird if it is...because I said a tan coat...and he is looking and playing with his phone...so if this is him...he had read my text...and knew I was me...because I had on a tan coat! I am just going to text again. I text saying "Are you here?"...
Nothing.
I leave. This is ridiculous!
I start to call my mom...I talk to her a bit and tell her this new story for my blog...and as I am talking...I get a beep indicating a text. "Mom, hold on a sec." I flip the phone over and check... its him!
"OK..."
Oh my god...what in the world?
So...I text,
"Hmmm, that's awesome!"
So in other words...nope no more kisses for me...since I never heard from Potter again...
Monday, April 28, 2008
Got a kiss!
I had my date saturday night, he was nice...and yea he did resemble harry...but wasn't bad looking. He definitely was more cute then he was hot...but that was ok.
I had a hard time telling with him...we talked a lot...but had some awkward silences as well. Was he into me? I have nooo idea really... was it the beer... or was he into ME!....as he was on his 4th beer of the night, he started really leaning into me to talk and hear...since the place had gotten super crowded. We hung out and chatted for over four hours...him finally asking if I was ready to go. He rubbed my back as he walked out the door...and walked me to my car.
It was kind of late...and getting cold and rainy out...so I asked him if he would like a ride home...he said "no thats ok"...and I said, "Are you sure?" and then he said, "Sure, why not"
I drive him to his place and pull over...we smile and he leans in...I lean in...going for a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek...and he goes right for the lips. The kiss was a little awkward at first...as usual first kisses are I am sure. He then says "come up." I said no, I can't...I think I will head on home...then I get a horn honking from behind... I pull away from his place... with him still in the passenger seat. I pulled onto a street to turn around and he leans over and kisses me again. I agreed at that point to go into his place...knowing it wasn't a great idea...but I kept saying...ok...I will go in...but don't expect to get lucky.
I stuck with my guns...and didn't let him win...I said no. We did kiss a lot...and he did beg for me to spend the night...even though I said no to the actual act...he said that was ok... that he liked me and wanted to see me in the morning. I smiled... and said, yea you can... but not here... you need to call me to see me.
Finally, after a bit...he said "when can I see you again?" I said, "I don't know you tell me" He then gets up and says, "what is your number?" I give it to him, get up and said my goodbyes. He kissed me again at the door and said I'll see you or I'll call you...something like that.
I went home...checked my email and responded to Crazy Blind Date with how the date went...and responding to "Mr Potter" that I had a lot of fun, thanks for tonight, and Call Me!
I know its only Monday, but I haven't heard from him...not even a response through Crazy Blind Date... not sure what to think...I will give it a few days...but I am kind of worried I will never hear from him. I did get my kiss...or kisses...so I can not complain...and I did have a great night...with him paying even...but I wonder what I did that I could have done differently...I do thank god that I didn't sleep with him, and then have him still not call...cause then I would feel even worse.
I am not even sure what I felt...was I even all that attracted to be honest...he kissed me so I went along with it. All I know is I did have fun...and would like to see him again...but...I guess its in his hands, not mine. I just need to tell myself that even though he doesn't call...if he doesn't call...that it isn't me...its him...and its his loss... I don't want him anyway...but I need to NOT feel rejected and instead feel relieved...right?
I had a hard time telling with him...we talked a lot...but had some awkward silences as well. Was he into me? I have nooo idea really... was it the beer... or was he into ME!....as he was on his 4th beer of the night, he started really leaning into me to talk and hear...since the place had gotten super crowded. We hung out and chatted for over four hours...him finally asking if I was ready to go. He rubbed my back as he walked out the door...and walked me to my car.
It was kind of late...and getting cold and rainy out...so I asked him if he would like a ride home...he said "no thats ok"...and I said, "Are you sure?" and then he said, "Sure, why not"
I drive him to his place and pull over...we smile and he leans in...I lean in...going for a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek...and he goes right for the lips. The kiss was a little awkward at first...as usual first kisses are I am sure. He then says "come up." I said no, I can't...I think I will head on home...then I get a horn honking from behind... I pull away from his place... with him still in the passenger seat. I pulled onto a street to turn around and he leans over and kisses me again. I agreed at that point to go into his place...knowing it wasn't a great idea...but I kept saying...ok...I will go in...but don't expect to get lucky.
I stuck with my guns...and didn't let him win...I said no. We did kiss a lot...and he did beg for me to spend the night...even though I said no to the actual act...he said that was ok... that he liked me and wanted to see me in the morning. I smiled... and said, yea you can... but not here... you need to call me to see me.
Finally, after a bit...he said "when can I see you again?" I said, "I don't know you tell me" He then gets up and says, "what is your number?" I give it to him, get up and said my goodbyes. He kissed me again at the door and said I'll see you or I'll call you...something like that.
I went home...checked my email and responded to Crazy Blind Date with how the date went...and responding to "Mr Potter" that I had a lot of fun, thanks for tonight, and Call Me!
I know its only Monday, but I haven't heard from him...not even a response through Crazy Blind Date... not sure what to think...I will give it a few days...but I am kind of worried I will never hear from him. I did get my kiss...or kisses...so I can not complain...and I did have a great night...with him paying even...but I wonder what I did that I could have done differently...I do thank god that I didn't sleep with him, and then have him still not call...cause then I would feel even worse.
I am not even sure what I felt...was I even all that attracted to be honest...he kissed me so I went along with it. All I know is I did have fun...and would like to see him again...but...I guess its in his hands, not mine. I just need to tell myself that even though he doesn't call...if he doesn't call...that it isn't me...its him...and its his loss... I don't want him anyway...but I need to NOT feel rejected and instead feel relieved...right?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Come in 3's?
OK bad thing MUST come in three's right? I have only up to go...so lets hope so. It started last week, when I decided I was bored...and hadn't been on a Crazy Blind Date in a few months...so I signed up for a few. Last Thursday, one was set up with a 40 year old who said he "was a real cowboy" which cracked up the guys at work...and then canceled...saying in the email that he had to work late. Me responding with:
Hi there,You had a date with me tonight and I thought it was funny...because I too am working and was starting to get stressed I wouldn't be done in time for 8! so your email took weight off my shoulders. What do you do?
Then nothing...never heard from him again...OK was he married?
Last night was date number two...I was running late so I send him a text message...telling him exactly that...and nothing...I arrive at a LOUD dark bar, and have NO idea who he is and if he is even there since I hadn't heard from him...after 29 minutes of waiting...I finally get a text saying "oh man, I forgot...I went home sick from work today, wasn't feeling well."
Then tonight...I had another one. He texted me 2 minutes after Crazy Blind Dates gives the OK to text, texting "Cupid" uhhh what does that mean?? We finally meet, and he seems super nervous...stuttering some and repeating things over and over. I gave him a break though...as I said he just seemed nervous...but at times, I wondered if he was all there...and then he tells me that he works with special education kids...which makes me think...now it makes sense...
We sat down...and I tried to have a full conversation...which was a little all over the place with repeats here and there...For example I would ask, "Where are you from?" and he would say, "Where are you from?""Where are you from?""Where are you from?""Where are you from?" I kept thinking...is it nerves or just who he is...the loud voice all of sudden that made me look around to make sure people weren't staring...but I kept my smile in place. We are close to the end and he asks for the check...he seems to be in a hurry all of a sudden, throws down a 10 and says here is half...which really wasn't since the bill came to 21+tip...meaning 10 didn't even cover his part...since his beer was more expensive then mine. But whatever...as I am putting my credit card in my wallet...he gets up and puts on his coat and says, nice meeting you and walks out the door!
I watched him leave...shit...what was that all about...I have never ever had that experience...and I have had worse dates as well...
I walk out myself and almost run into him...and turn fast, pretending I didn't see him...since I didn't want another awkward moment. I walk out and see him looking confused at the stop walk...and then he starts to cross and bolts into a run...and I stood there watching him run all the way in the lights of the street ahead.
I think this had to be one of the weirdest dates yet...one more story for the blog I guess.
Hi there,You had a date with me tonight and I thought it was funny...because I too am working and was starting to get stressed I wouldn't be done in time for 8! so your email took weight off my shoulders. What do you do?
Then nothing...never heard from him again...OK was he married?
Last night was date number two...I was running late so I send him a text message...telling him exactly that...and nothing...I arrive at a LOUD dark bar, and have NO idea who he is and if he is even there since I hadn't heard from him...after 29 minutes of waiting...I finally get a text saying "oh man, I forgot...I went home sick from work today, wasn't feeling well."
Then tonight...I had another one. He texted me 2 minutes after Crazy Blind Dates gives the OK to text, texting "Cupid" uhhh what does that mean?? We finally meet, and he seems super nervous...stuttering some and repeating things over and over. I gave him a break though...as I said he just seemed nervous...but at times, I wondered if he was all there...and then he tells me that he works with special education kids...which makes me think...now it makes sense...
We sat down...and I tried to have a full conversation...which was a little all over the place with repeats here and there...For example I would ask, "Where are you from?" and he would say, "Where are you from?""Where are you from?""Where are you from?""Where are you from?" I kept thinking...is it nerves or just who he is...the loud voice all of sudden that made me look around to make sure people weren't staring...but I kept my smile in place. We are close to the end and he asks for the check...he seems to be in a hurry all of a sudden, throws down a 10 and says here is half...which really wasn't since the bill came to 21+tip...meaning 10 didn't even cover his part...since his beer was more expensive then mine. But whatever...as I am putting my credit card in my wallet...he gets up and puts on his coat and says, nice meeting you and walks out the door!
I watched him leave...shit...what was that all about...I have never ever had that experience...and I have had worse dates as well...
I walk out myself and almost run into him...and turn fast, pretending I didn't see him...since I didn't want another awkward moment. I walk out and see him looking confused at the stop walk...and then he starts to cross and bolts into a run...and I stood there watching him run all the way in the lights of the street ahead.
I think this had to be one of the weirdest dates yet...one more story for the blog I guess.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Home by 10:30
I went out with Mr Red on Saturday night. I wasn't expecting this to be a date as much as just getting some drinks with a friend. I told him to text or call and let me know the plans...
He said around 8 and he would text...and then 8 rolls around Saturday night and nothing...then at about a quarter past I get an email and a text saying he was running late...he will be there at 8:30.
I was kind of annoyed...but gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe he thought when i said call or text he meant as he was leaving...as since I didn't have plans...since he technically was my plans...I went along for the ride...or walk...since it was just down the street.
I got there...and it was the same as the last time I met him...kind of awkward...I actually kind of wondered what I was doing there...since he kind of seemed like he would have rather been anywhere but there. He proceeds to text for the next few minutes as I am looking at the dinner menu. He finally puts the phone away. I think that someone who uses there phone during dinner is one of the rudest things...unless there is a reason...but he didn't tell me either way.
We finally ordered wine...and as the wine loosened the tongue we started talking about the economy and politics...religion and anything else that we could think of. The conversation flowed well enough...but we still had those uncomfortable silences. After dinner...we walked out...him asking me what his options were in response to whats next.
I said...the bar down the street...driving somewheres else...or my place to watch TV or something...he says nope I don't like TV...and Ill be honest I didn't want him over anyway...but wanted to be nice and ask...so he then says well I have an early day tomorrow...so Ill be seeing you.
SO...as you can see...that might be the last time I see him...maybe we will run into each other somewhere at some point...but it was just an uncomfortable night all the way around.
He said around 8 and he would text...and then 8 rolls around Saturday night and nothing...then at about a quarter past I get an email and a text saying he was running late...he will be there at 8:30.
I was kind of annoyed...but gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe he thought when i said call or text he meant as he was leaving...as since I didn't have plans...since he technically was my plans...I went along for the ride...or walk...since it was just down the street.
I got there...and it was the same as the last time I met him...kind of awkward...I actually kind of wondered what I was doing there...since he kind of seemed like he would have rather been anywhere but there. He proceeds to text for the next few minutes as I am looking at the dinner menu. He finally puts the phone away. I think that someone who uses there phone during dinner is one of the rudest things...unless there is a reason...but he didn't tell me either way.
We finally ordered wine...and as the wine loosened the tongue we started talking about the economy and politics...religion and anything else that we could think of. The conversation flowed well enough...but we still had those uncomfortable silences. After dinner...we walked out...him asking me what his options were in response to whats next.
I said...the bar down the street...driving somewheres else...or my place to watch TV or something...he says nope I don't like TV...and Ill be honest I didn't want him over anyway...but wanted to be nice and ask...so he then says well I have an early day tomorrow...so Ill be seeing you.
SO...as you can see...that might be the last time I see him...maybe we will run into each other somewhere at some point...but it was just an uncomfortable night all the way around.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Mr Salesman at the Oscars
It has been a few since my last post. I am just not sure what to write...I have been talking The Salesman, we kind of stopped talking some around the holidays but he did contact me again...and we have been talking since.
We finally met a few weeks ago...went for Indian on a cold gray Sunday afternoon. It was nice...he was exactly what I expected. I'm torn about him...he is nice and sweet...but seems unhappy allot. Is it just bad luck on his part? or is he just this way? It is hard to tell at this time...that only thing about all of this...and why I bring it up...is that I feel like since I am apt to be negative...its hard not to be when he is...does that make sense?
He came over to my house Sunday night...to watch the Oscars. Its funny because I did the same thing last year...some guy came over and we watched the 06 Oscars. That was Mr Artsy...wow things have changed since then...but then again have they really? I feel like I am stronger then I was last year at this time....and Anchorman is finally someone in my past...even though it took waaay longer then it should have.
Mr Salesman came over...just the two of us and my roomate on the third floor. I feel really comfortable with him. SO of course I ask the questions...
Is it because I got to know him over the last few months?
Is it because we are friends and nothing else?
Is he playing me and trying to sell me something? so of course i will be comfortable!
I made lasagna and he brought two bottles of wine. We talked...he did finally hold my hand...but he didnt kiss me. I kind wanted to, it has been awhile...ha...but it is what it is...and we just huged goodnight. Maybe next time? Or maybe we wont be anything more then friends...I guess I wont know until I see him again.
Thats all that has been going on in the last few weeks. I decided to stop dating dating for a bit...therefore..dont date to lose weight. I have been focusing on losing weight. My brother is getting married in late June. And I have to wear a sleeveless dress...so I have been going to the gym...doing weights...and eating weight watchers points...very religiously too...I have been strict...and trying to be better.
I feel better though...I feel like my anxiety hasnt been as bad...is that because>
I am rested?
I am not eating as much sugar and caffeine...therefore my heart rate is more regular?
Is it because I am learning to deal with things better?
Is it because I am not really dating...and that's one less stress?
Anyway...that's me and my life for the last few weeks...
We finally met a few weeks ago...went for Indian on a cold gray Sunday afternoon. It was nice...he was exactly what I expected. I'm torn about him...he is nice and sweet...but seems unhappy allot. Is it just bad luck on his part? or is he just this way? It is hard to tell at this time...that only thing about all of this...and why I bring it up...is that I feel like since I am apt to be negative...its hard not to be when he is...does that make sense?
He came over to my house Sunday night...to watch the Oscars. Its funny because I did the same thing last year...some guy came over and we watched the 06 Oscars. That was Mr Artsy...wow things have changed since then...but then again have they really? I feel like I am stronger then I was last year at this time....and Anchorman is finally someone in my past...even though it took waaay longer then it should have.
Mr Salesman came over...just the two of us and my roomate on the third floor. I feel really comfortable with him. SO of course I ask the questions...
Is it because I got to know him over the last few months?
Is it because we are friends and nothing else?
Is he playing me and trying to sell me something? so of course i will be comfortable!
I made lasagna and he brought two bottles of wine. We talked...he did finally hold my hand...but he didnt kiss me. I kind wanted to, it has been awhile...ha...but it is what it is...and we just huged goodnight. Maybe next time? Or maybe we wont be anything more then friends...I guess I wont know until I see him again.
Thats all that has been going on in the last few weeks. I decided to stop dating dating for a bit...therefore..dont date to lose weight. I have been focusing on losing weight. My brother is getting married in late June. And I have to wear a sleeveless dress...so I have been going to the gym...doing weights...and eating weight watchers points...very religiously too...I have been strict...and trying to be better.
I feel better though...I feel like my anxiety hasnt been as bad...is that because>
I am rested?
I am not eating as much sugar and caffeine...therefore my heart rate is more regular?
Is it because I am learning to deal with things better?
Is it because I am not really dating...and that's one less stress?
Anyway...that's me and my life for the last few weeks...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Is that your final answer?
I went to trivia tonight with Mr tea...and 4 other friends. I am not sure what to think...it wasn't easy to talk...and I hope he wasn't bored. All my insecurities came out tonight... and one major one is not being seen as smart. I didn't know many of the trivia questions...and now I wonder how dumb do I look?
I am not sure what was what I guess...it was so loud and busy that we didn't get to talk much... and I just wasn't sure what to talk about in front of everyone. Its funny, I got super shy...and I felt like I just wasn't being me...
I mean we did sit next to each other, and he def leaned in a few times...and I leaned to of course! He did feel comfortable to finish my pizza... and he did have a beer...so he does drink, which was something I wondered. But, it just didn't flow as well as the first date...or first meeting. I did invite him along to a pub crawl this weekend with friends...and he didn't say no or yes...said to let him know.
I just in a way wish I had spent more alone time with him, cause I wasn't sure what to talk about with him. And now I am afraid that we are in friend zone...and maybe be nothing more. And me...I worry. I just am not sure what to think and am not sure what to do. I mean he might think I just want to be friends since we did this...and wouldn't ask me out again...or maybe he would? I am just not sure...and do I ask him? DO I tell him that it was hard to talk...maybe he could teach me backgammon or do dinner next time?
As we said our goodbyes, I wasn't sure what to do...so once again I just said goodbye and smiled...and walked away. I didn't hug like I probably should have...its just that its so awkward...and I'm such not a touchy feel person, not until I'm close to them that is.
So, I am not sure whats what and that is my final answer!
I am not sure what was what I guess...it was so loud and busy that we didn't get to talk much... and I just wasn't sure what to talk about in front of everyone. Its funny, I got super shy...and I felt like I just wasn't being me...
I mean we did sit next to each other, and he def leaned in a few times...and I leaned to of course! He did feel comfortable to finish my pizza... and he did have a beer...so he does drink, which was something I wondered. But, it just didn't flow as well as the first date...or first meeting. I did invite him along to a pub crawl this weekend with friends...and he didn't say no or yes...said to let him know.
I just in a way wish I had spent more alone time with him, cause I wasn't sure what to talk about with him. And now I am afraid that we are in friend zone...and maybe be nothing more. And me...I worry. I just am not sure what to think and am not sure what to do. I mean he might think I just want to be friends since we did this...and wouldn't ask me out again...or maybe he would? I am just not sure...and do I ask him? DO I tell him that it was hard to talk...maybe he could teach me backgammon or do dinner next time?
As we said our goodbyes, I wasn't sure what to do...so once again I just said goodbye and smiled...and walked away. I didn't hug like I probably should have...its just that its so awkward...and I'm such not a touchy feel person, not until I'm close to them that is.
So, I am not sure whats what and that is my final answer!
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