Men are like...

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ....Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Walkin'

So I am now commuting to work instead of driving...I take the bus to one stop and then another bus to the T, and then Ting it to Kendall when I then walk about 8 minutes to the office...repeat in the evenings...except I miss the bus 95% of the time...since the last one runs at 6:55...

Am I crazy that once winter comes and I have to walk over a mile in the dark that that scares me? My neighborhood near my house is pretty safe...but the 1/2 mile in between could be considered sketchy.

Imagine a dark road...cars driving by regularly...and we r talking suburbs of Boston here...some street lights...a park to your left with tennis courts and empty space. It scares me to walk alone at night. After the last 11 years of people telling women to NEVER walk alone...why should I? I mean it would be one thing if I was in the city life...if I was near people all around me... but walking in near darkness even at 8:00...I was told tonight that who cares...where we live its the safest place in the country...but is it...it scares me...am I wrong??

Any advice?

Bug eyes...

So Mr Bug eyes responded to the ad...seeming all nice and sweet...see u never ever know who u will find online, in a bar, or even at Super Stop and Shop...u never know someone.
This was the response...I'm so tempted to respond...either from this email address or another one...just to get him all excited and then tell him he has bug eyes...but see I feel bad and cant be mean even though he called me Jack Osborne...so what to do what to do?

Ad:

Just read about you and liked what I read. I am 31 single. I am 5-8 too with a good job, own a car and buying a new one. I think that I very nice and lovable. I'm respectful, down to earth and educated. Not looking for a casual counter either. Hope to hear from you.

Any nice guys not looking for just sex?

I was told the other day that I needed to update this thing...and since I haven't been dating much...what do I write about...and your right about it not being a good idea to write about work stuff...so thanks for the comments...and you are right I hadn't thought of that...I know I should have but I didn't when I wrote it...which is ironic because at my last job I didn't write anything bad because I was paranoid someone would find it and read it...

I decided for the hell of it...more to get something to post about...to write a new ad...haha it went something like this:

Any nice guys not looking for just sex?

I haven't been on here looking for a date in a long while...but I'm bored so I thought I would say hi.

I have tried the whole online dating thing...and its frustrating cause the majority of guys I have met especially off of CL want just sex...or are married...why is that? To most CL=SEX

I want to find a guy who likes me for me...I'm not the type of girl to sleep with you on a first date...isn't that what Casual Encounters section is for?

I am also no Paris Hilton...who at the end of the day still cries for mommy. I am me... a size 16... curves and all... but I'm not going to lie and say I'm thin ...its something I have been working on...exercise...being healthy for me not you.

So if after all this...you might find me interesting...tell me why I should trust you...

What can I say...I got few emails back:

Hey I just read your post and there is nothing i can say in an email to have you trust me!!!! that is because you do not know me and I do not know you so I do not trust you either but I will tell you that I am around 6'2 300lbs blue eyes and looking. of course I would love to have sex so would you and everyone one else in this world why cause sex is fun and it feels good. But I would like to chat get to know you have you get to know me as well. Here is my part to let you know that i am not looking for just sex cause if i was i would not say that I still live @ home. why cause I want my own house and right now the prices for house is out of my reach so I live @ home still, I am saving my money to buy my own home. Why not move out into a apartment you ask cause why pay rent and have no value in it after a yr. that does not mean i get a free ride i help my parents out with anything they want me to do. I a video gamer I just got the Wii from Nintendo and i have a PS3 from Sony i love playing video games and watching tv, movies, hanging out with my friends and just chilling, having a few drinks and so on. Well that is all I will say for now, if you wanna chat or you wanna know more then reply back and maybe we can even meet up @ some point for dinner, drinks, letting you take advantage of me!!!! just kidding with you please don't hold my sense of humor against me too much!!!! hope to hear from you

I didn't think it was so bad so I emailed back...and then got this response back which I couldn't respond to...

I work for a phone company and love my job the freedom of it and the fun of it all. What i do for the company is a bunch of things the easiest way is to say if you wanted to add a feature to ur line i am the one who adds the feature, I can also remove it, create a Toll Free number for you, make sure you are listed with 411 and a number of other feature related orders. But enough about me for now otherwise you will die from being bored to death!!!!!! I would like to know about you now. First what is your name and second how about something that is tells me about you like my email from to you put yourself out there, how you can tell me ur likes and dislikes, do you have a dirty mind, do u have a wise ass sense of humor, r u a freak, r u strange, u r a normal(whatever that is) can you take anything and turn it dirty just to make people laugh or to see them embarrassed anything will be cool with me. what ever you want to tell me, if it is that you want to tie me up and pour wax on me then that is cool with me!!!!!!!!!! or that you want to punch me in the mouth and then kick me in the stomach that cools too cause then i don't have to pay for it anymore!!!!!!!!! j/k see this is my sense of humor sorry if it offends you.

Then I got the same response Ive gotten before...which made me laugh now as much as then: probability theory at work

Hi! there,

I am expecting this mail to be one of the 23 mails that landed up in your mail all of a sudden from craigslist and you decided to open this mail because......I would let you answer that to prove that I am a good listener.

I am not a sugar daddy who fears his mom at home, not a NFL star who recently realized that he started playing football because he liked men, not a movie star who really has to work his balls out (meaning not a porn star), not an investment banker who recently finished the merger between his two favorite book publishers i.e. Playboy and DC Comics, not a guy who does not want to hurt anyone and so turned to chewing plants (tobacco).....and definitely not the guy from your grocery store who is on parole.

To tell you more about myself.....I am a 26 yr old and recently moved to Boston in search of greener pastures...a.k.a doing academic research at MIT. I like playing badminton (play at a competitive level) and other racket sports, running along the Charles, cooking, traveling, acting, yoga, playing guitar, reiki, learning about artificial medicine, reading history and listening to music (classical rock - favorite albums: each every album of Rainbow, joe satriani, led zeppelin and deep purple and few selected albums including joshua tree by U2, Pearl Jam, soundtrack of Matrix 1 and so on).

I am originally from India but the last 3 years of my life were spent in the UK where I got my PhD. I stand 5'6" tall (as the crow flies) and weigh 143lbs (as the needle shows). My favorite cuisines include Indian (obviously), Italian, Mexican and Sushi. Just wanted to make you sure that I am not color blind..... so my favorite colors include different shades of black and white.

I choose the subject because I had taken a course in probability theory and applications. Thats also where the number 23 comes from (more details will be explained). The number 18 in my id was chosen only because its my birthday and is definitely nothing to do with adult entertainment.
Let me know if my calculations are right...or the very fundamentals of this theory will be proved wrong and I need to inform NASA about this before they send another Mars explorer. Consider this...your reply would save a lot of taxpayer's money (your and my money included).

Good luck.

V

or how about this one who I have no clue as to who he is:

You sound very familiar.... (I know that's not the best ice breaker but something about your writing style seems very familiar to me.) If you do know who I am based on my email address then you have to come clean.

If I don't know you then please forgive my interruption....

or...one post was just: CAN'T THINK OF A REASON...............

Here is even another...see they know I'm 28...which amazes me that they still respond:

Hi,

Your profile struck a chord in me. I hope this response will trigger some interest from you.

Perhaps I am off base but you never know unless you take a chance.

I hope to find a woman who would like to be spoiled, pampered, entertained, worshiped and obeyed..within reason:). A woman who would like to explore her Dominant side.

I am a good looking professionally employed generous gentleman. 6" 180 lbs. Irish and Italian. 43 years old. I am aggressive and successful in my career, but behind closed doors I don't mind switching roles so to speak.
If you have any interest please get back to me and I WILL send you a photo and answer any questions you want to ask.

Sincerely,

j

Anyway I hope you ad fun reading...maybe I am ready to get back on the horse...we will see.

Workin it

I started a new job this week. I am in love...yup...its a great thing I must say. And it isn't with someone green eyes or smile...its with everything and anything about this new place. As you know...everything will have its ups and downs and I hope my honeymoon will last for a few months at least.

I was at work today and realized that I hadn't thought of Anchorman in days...or any other the other males in my life...didn't even want to go on Match to search for anyone interesting.

Its funny because last summer...actually almost a year ago...I decided that I wanted to date...I wanted to live my life for something besides my career. For the past 27 years...I had lived my life for yes other people...but also for my job...whatever it was at the time. I moved here wanting to start a life. I wanted to wake up at 55 and have a life...not just a career. The dating was a good way to start.

And here now I am one year later thinking that the career way is a good way to start with moving on from dating. I mean I still want to from time to time...but for the next few weeks I want to see who I can become. I am so much more confident in myself when I am at work...then when I am at a bar. Cause I know I'm a good designer...even when Simon Cowell starts going off. I know I am good...or can be

Someday maybe after all these dates and all these boys...I can bring some of my confidence in the work force out into my social life as well. I think part of why I did date this year was because I was so bored...I had nothing day after day that challenged me...except for whoever I was trying to meet at the time. But if I become less bored...IE super busy maybe that will allow me to become me again. When I do go on a date or meet someone new...I will just not give a shit if they like me...cause I know when I go to work and design a beer that someone will drink...hmmm I know that feeling is so much better then the rejection from the night before. Maybe this will be good for me...what will I be like when I am not so bored and working my ass off like in the past...but knowing that I do want the life...friends...

Also besides being busy with work I'm also busy with life and things going on in my family life. Makes me wonder what life is all about...and to enjoy the life you have...cause you have no fucking clue what tomorrow will bring.

Not my Mr Big

Mr Big came over last night...and even though I told him we were just friends...it was obvious he wasn't going to pay attention to that. He came over to watch a movie...and since the night before I hung out with Mr Match and it went so well...what was the harm in hanging out with another friend. I wanted to be home where my roomate was screaming distance away if need be...so I felt safer there then being near him somewheres else.

He comes over and he sits right next to me...leaning closer and closer and then my roomate walks in...thank F-ing god...and for someone who is just a friend and who didn't come over for ulterior motives...he sure did jump away fast enough as Roomy walked through the door.

Roomy finally left...and the touches and glances and the when are you going to let me make a move actions came about all over again. I was kind of annoyed...who does he think he is? We were NOT on a date...and I had told him numerous times how I felt about this matter in particular. I was frustrated cause I felt like he could have been a gentleman and stayed my friend this one time...and then next time...sure make a move...but give me time to get to know u better first.

I feel like I could have been anyone...and that to me wasn't what I wanted. Sure...I could have just given in...but I just wasn't as into him as I should have been or wanted to be. But as I said...I was more frustrated cause I feel like I was a booty call more then someone to hang out with.

Its ironic huh...cause the night before I wanted Mr Match to make a move...so see makes me think maybe I'm just not attracted to Mr Big...or maybe I just don't like him period where I do kind of like Mr Match. I like Mr Match's personality way more then Mr Big's...and Bubba's for that matter.

Anyway...I think that might have been the last time I would see Mr Big...

There is no Mr Big in my sexless in the city romance in my happily ever after.

Can guys be friends?

I hung out with Mr Match tonight...it was really nice. we sat on the same couch and watched almost 2 movies...we hung out for hours and I kind of didn't want to leave. Its funny because being friends was nice...it was nice not to have to worry about him trying to lean in for a kiss or to try to grab a feel. But at the same time i did want it to happen. Haha how funny is that...I sat there and could feel his every move...well as much as my brain could fathom. But I did...I kind of wanted him to inch closer...and I kind of wanted him to touch my hand.

Its kind of weird cause I am not sure what it is I feel...cause I am attracted but sometimes Im not. I like him and enjoy his company...alot more then most guys I spend time with..minus my friends of course. But see is that just it...because we have stated we r just to be friends...is the act of me being more comfortable what makes him attractive. Or is it the glasses...because I am a sucker for glasses on guys...damn lasik....

Im not sure what or if anything is there...and that kind of blows because he obviously isn't to interested...since he said that to me the last time I saw him...but as I said...am I? In my head before this last year muddled my brain; this is what dating was suppose to feel like. Dating isn't about this thing called sex or else dating would just be called sex. I don't know when that began; was it sex in the city or before-?? I feel like dating should be getting to know someone and really understanding who and what they are and being able to value that person for who they are. So with Mr Match or whoever else I meet and become friends with... what happens if we do become friends...maybe even my best friend... someone who understands me more then most... and maybe thats love? Maybe but how do we know and how do we tell? Im scared to continue friendships with males because of this at times.

I also have decided to stay friends with Bubba...even though he is seeing someone new. And tonight he gets mad at me because I don't want to have phone sex with him. Are you kidding me? Friends? I don't want to be that kind of friends with him...because how can I separate the two...friends and sex....but see Im kind of jealous of her...but am I jealous of her or what they have? Is it my feelings for him or just the feelings in general that I want to feel and have other people see and want.

I say I have never been in love...and in love I mean being in love mutually with someone. Not someone who you do love but doesn't love you in just that same way. I think I have fallen this way more times then I would like to admit. Sometimes its just a moment in time before you convince your brain you do no feel that way...nope it cant be true. Most couples I meet...the truly happy ones were friends first...without fail. And I have always said I would find that...that someday I think my best friend might be the one. So when I look at Mr Match is it the fairy tale I had set up in my head years ago? Or is it really this great guy that could mean something to me? Im scared...scared that once again I will become best friends with someone else who just sees KT as good ol' KT. Im scared that once again I will fall far harder and deeper and not be able to dig myself out...worse then the times in my past.

I was best friends with this guy years ago...we had a special bond...and like I said Im not sure when or how it changed...but I fell hard. In some places in my head and in my heart I believe he did too...but see did he or did I just convince myself that he did? There have been a few guys in my past that this guy represents. In the end of the day I think i allowed myself to fall for these people because I did get to know them...I did become friends with each and everyone of them. I fell for who and what they were....and then at the end of the day was scared of rejection so I never told...most of the time I didn't even tell myself. See in allot of ways this has been my last year... trying not to get to close because then it hurts. I was also trying to get used to being rejected so maybe, maybe someday I will get over the fear and share my true self with someone who matters.

Im not sure...and Im confused....because I know I need to slow down on the dating and just get to know some of these people before we all let sex complicate matters...but as I said..what happens if I do feel something more in the end and I get more hurt then I have ever been today. Is it worth it? If I juggle guys...I cant get tears...see at this point Im scared another guy will touch me as deep as anchorman did...somehow I let him in...but it was the idea of him more then him. And see thats another thing...am I just lonely so the idea of Mr Match being more or Bubba who's more?....when they are just to be friends in the first place?

See Im confused and not in control...cause maybe you cant control feelings....Im scared that I will be hurt and what then? what if I cant get through it? So if I block it out and don't let people in...then I can be ok...but then I look at couples that have what I want and know that I cant keep this wall...that I do need to let people in...because in the long run someone will stick...